


Show Me How You Burlesque

by jessaverant



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Burlesque Club, Alternate Universe - Human, Background Mystery Pearl, Bartender Peridot, Dancer Lapis, F/F, Gen, Homophobia, Lust at First Sight, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past jaspis, Trans Lars (Steven Universe)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-03-06 05:56:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 56,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13404885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessaverant/pseuds/jessaverant
Summary: Peridot Castillo just wanted a job where she could learn how to be a semi-decent bartender, and the Crystal Temple Burlesque Club appeared to be just the place. It wasn't until she laid eyes on an unassuming blue-haired burlesque dancer that she realized the Crystal Temple Burlesque Club might be more than it seems.Roughly based on the movie "Burlesque" starring Cher and Christina Aguilera. Other ships/tags to be added as they develop.





	1. The Club

_Underneath the city lights /_ _There is a world few know about / Where rules don't apply, no / And you can't keep a good girl down…_

\---

"Name?"

"Peridot Castillo." A pause. A scribble.

"Age?"

"Twenty-three in August."

"Education?"

"I'm eighty percent done with a Bachelor of Science in mechanical engineering from the University of Empire State." A raised eyebrow.

"Have you ever tended a bar before, Miss Castillo?"

"...no."

Another scribble. Somewhere in the far side of the building, a door opened and shut with a resounding _bang._

"Are you a fast learner?"

"Absolutely."

"Personable?"

"I think so?" A low chuckle. For the first time in what felt like hours, the woman before her raised her eyes from the clipboard in her hands and met Peridot's worried gaze. Peridot stared right back at her, transfixed by her multi-colored eyes and darkly painted lips. The corner of the woman's mouth quirked upwards.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes!" Peridot squeaked. Her cheeks went a dark crimson and her eyes widened. "I'm sorry, miss--"

"Garnet," the woman supplied, holding out her hand. "You can call me Garnet."

"Garnet," Peridot responded, taking her hand in her much smaller one. "I'm just... am I still in the running for the job if I say you're just very pretty?" Garnet's smile widened as she let out a low laugh, clicking her nails along the tabletop. She brushed the scarf holding her hair back over her shoulder and flicked an errant curl from her burgundy-red eye.

"Of course you are, Peridot. Now, tell me... what brings _you_ to the Crystal Temple Burlesque Club?" Peridot gulped and fiddled with her fingers on the table, twisting them together. What _was_ she doing there? Her eyes flicked to the light pink flyer she had brought with her, sitting beside Garnet's folded hands on the small table. _Bartender wanted. No experience necessary. Must be available nights and weekends_. _Serious inquiries only._

"Uh," Peridot began, quite inelegantly. "I'm taking some time off from my engineering program due to some, er, _difficulties,_ so I thought I could use this opportunity to pick up a new skill set... while also paying rent?" Peridot raised her eyebrows and gave what she _hoped_ was a half-hearted shrug that implied _you know what I mean?_ But she had no idea if it translated. Garnet's expression remained unchanged.

"There are hundreds, probably thousands of bars all over Empire City," Garnet said in response, burgundy-red and deep-sea-blue eyes fluttering to the flyer and then back to Peridot. "What brought you _here_ , specifically?" Peridot glanced down at her fidgety hands again, then looked up over the grandiose theater. A stately bar lined the back wall of the room, polished, solid wood with fully stocked shelves. Dozens of small round tables with plush seats littered the floor, each one with a small central lamp, all circling a raised stage with a rich magenta-colored curtain dusting it. Garnet followed Peridot's mental tour of the building.

"I... feel a lot more _comfortable_ around.... women," Peridot answered finally as she tore her eyes away from the rose insignia on the center of the curtain. "I know traditional bartending is kind of bogged down in toxic masculinity and general misogyny, so I thought it'd be... _nicer_ here. Since it's, well--"

"A lesbian burlesque club?" Garnet answered, dead-pan. Peridot flushed and said nothing. This club _was_ within the three-block radius known as the Gay Village, after all.

After what felt like hours but was actually thirty seconds, Garnet flashed a brilliant smile.

"I think you'll make a great addition to our staff, Peridot," she said, eyes softening. Peridot blinked in surprise.

"R-really?" she asked as Garnet unhooked a piece of paper from her clipboard. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," Garnet responded, sliding the paper and a pen over to Peridot. "I tend to have a knack for knowing these things. Just fill out this application so it can be all squared away, nice and legal."

"Sure, I guess," Peridot said, pushing her glasses back up her nose. Her nervous sweating was making them slide down more than usual. Garnet didn't reply. Instead, she stood from the small table and walked over to the bar, running her fingers over its wooden surface. She clicked her tongue and pocketed her hands, slowly walking its length.

"Now, there are a few things you should know about the Crystal Temple Club before starting," Garnet started as she looked out across the room, heeled boots clicking against the tile floor. Peridot glanced up from her application, squinting in the dim light.

"First of all, this is a safe space for all of our employees. Dancers, bartenders, musicians, you name it." Garnet stopped at the center of the bar and hopped over to the other side, leaning on her forearms. The mirrored aviators hanging from her shirt hem dragged against the counter. "If at any time a customer makes you feel uncomfortable, or another employee, you let management know. Got it?"

"Yes!" Peridot chirped.

"That leads me to my next point," Garnet continued. "This one is very important. A lot of the girls here have come from places that are... less than savory." Garnet lowered her gaze to the counter, then looked back up at Peridot. "We have some girls who came here without a cent or a family to call their own. Some of the girls might not want to talk to you at first; some might never come around to you. You have to understand it's nothing personal. Also..." Garnet trailed off. "We have a rule about names."

"Names?" Peridot asked, looking up once more from her application. "What do you mean?" Garnet smiled.

"When I introduced myself," the elder woman said, "I said you can _call_ me Garnet." Peridot pursed her lips and stared at her. Garnet just gave her head a tilt, earrings flashing in the dim light.

 _What does she mean?_ she wondered. _She just said her name was--_

_Oh._

"...is that not your real name?" Peridot asked. Garnet shook her head. 

"The owner was the one who started it," she explained. "She thought it was a fun gimmick; everyone has a gemstone nickname. But it became much more than that -- some people really took it to heart. Some of the girls adopted their gem name as their new name because they were trying to escape from something that their old name implicated. A way to... start over. The rule is: the name you are told is the name you use, no questions asked." Peridot swallowed and looked down at her application, her name written in her strange scrawl across the top. "I'm assuming your given name is _actually_ Peridot?"

"Yeah," Peridot stammered. "I was named that 'cause I was born in August. My parents were not... super creative. Is that why you paused when asking me questions before?"

"Mhm," Garnet offered, fingers curling over her elbows. "Not everyone uses the nicknames, but most do. You're free to use your given name, since it _does_ fit the theme; however, if you want something else, we have a list of unused names you can take, too. Most of the popular gemstones are taken by now but, there are some interesting ones in there."

"I think I'll stick with Peridot," Peridot answered. She shrugged. "No one will know it's my real name, right?"

"True," Garnet said. "Those are the two most important things to know about us here. Are you still interested in joining us?" Peridot bit her lower lip and scanned the room again. _It's now or never,_ she thought to herself. _If you actually want to do this, this is_ definitely _going to be the best place._

"Er, yes," Peridot responded, bringing her gaze to face Garnet. Garnet raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Good," she replied. She glanced down at the watch on her right wrist and clicked her tongue. "It's almost eleven, the dancers should be starting rehearsal soon. Have you finished with that?" She flicked her wrist in Peridot's direction.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Peridot answered, and she stood from her seat and wandered over to the bar. "Here."

"Excellent," Garnet said, folding it up and slipping it into her pocket. "Now, you can leave after meeting with the owner, Rose. She should be here by now but she always meets with the dancers and the band before rehearsal. Of course, if you'd like to stay for rehearsal, you certainly may. I'm going to be working on your training schedule."

"Stay? Wait--really?" Peridot stammered, her face immediately going red once again. Garnet couldn't help but be endeared.

"As long as the girls don't mind, of course. Have you ever seen a burlesque show?" Peridot shook her head.

"I've heard of them," she admitted, face still bright red. "But never seen one. That's kind of... another reason why I came here." Garnet let out a low laugh.

"You wouldn't be the first," she admitted. "Don't worry, you'll have it all memorized in no time at all. Our girls are very talented." She pulled another clipboard out from under the bar just as a rustling came from behind Peridot. She turned to see a large woman with voluminous pink curly hair all pulled back in a white ribbon came bursting through the curtain, followed by a much smaller petite woman who could have easily passed for a teenager, but had a frantic look on her face.

"--and I don't think it's going to work very well, but it's _Amethyst,_ and well, Rose, _you know how she is--_ "

"Pearl," the other woman interrupted in a soft voice, "it will be _fine._ " The petite woman, Pearl, stopped at the edge of the stage, where Peridot noticed she was barefoot. She was wearing running shorts over a pale blue leotard, and carrying a black velvet satchel over her shoulder. Her face was screwed into a frustrated grimace and she hopped down so she was sitting on the edge of the stage, her long legs dangling. She was mumbling to herself as she rummaged through the velvet bag. The larger woman was standing beside Pearl, looking up above the bar into what appeared to be a small sound booth. Peridot followed her gaze and noticed she was staring at the two spotlights situated on either side of the booth.

"Amethyst won't end up doing it, Pearl," Garnet called from behind the bar, still looking down at her clipboard. Peridot jumped in surprise; she'd already forgotten Garnet was still behind her. Pearl peered out into the dark club, squinting.

"Garnet? Are you in here?" she called. Her eyes suddenly widened in alarm as she noticed Peridot. "And who is _that?_ "

"New bartender," Garnet replied. "Pearl, meet Peridot. Peridot, Pearl."

"Oh!" the pink-haired woman said. "A new bartender!" She excitedly hiked up her skirt and ran backstage, only to emerge from a small side door underneath the band platform and run up to Peridot. "Hello, dear. Peridot, was it?"

"Yes, ma'am," Peridot responded, suddenly very intimidated by this woman. She was easily over six feet tall, and it was quite possible she had as much hair as Peridot had body mass. At five-foot-one inch, she didn't exactly cut an imposing figure.

The woman had bright eyes and the kindest smile Peridot had ever seen. She was wearing what appeared to be an old band t-shirt tucked into a high-waisted frilly tulle skirt that reached her ankles. Her feet were also bare, just like Pearl's. She was as beautiful as she was intimidating, and Peridot could feel her cheeks heating up again.

"Oh, you don't have to 'ma'am' me! Please, call me Rose Quartz. You can also just call me Rose, most of the other girls do." She held out her hand and as Peridot took it, she noticed a _very_ shiny ring on her left ring finger. "Welcome to my club. I hope you enjoy working with us here."

"Thank you for having me," Peridot replied. "I, uh, I hope I don't let you down."

"Of course not," Rose said, smiling. She laid a large hand on Peridot's shoulder and squeezed gently in a way that could only be described as _motherly._ "Would you like to stay for rehearsal?" Peridot glanced back at the stage where Pearl was giving her an odd look. A few others had joined her on stage; a taller woman with long white-blonde hair was sitting beside Pearl, speaking to her quietly, and a somehow even _taller_ woman with rainbow colored highlights and pink leg warmers was standing behind them, fiddling with a microphone stand. It was then that Peridot noticed what was _in_ Pearl's velvet bag - a pair of four-inch platform stiletto heels. They were strapped around Pearl's ankles and were covered in shiny teal satin.

"I think I should probably get back to my apartment," Peridot mumbled, eyes still on the women on stage. Pearl hopped to her feet and strode around the stage as if she were still in bare feet, heels clicking with confidence; Peridot had only seen such strides in movies. "My landlord wanted to see me about something." Rose's face fell but she nodded in understanding.

"You'll certainly see the performances enough over time. Garnet? Do you have Peridot's training schedule finished?" Rose called to the bar. Peridot followed the towering woman over.

"Right here," Garnet declared, handing over a slip of paper to Peridot. "We're going to have a bar tending boot-camp for the first few days, and then we're going to throw you into the ring for our Thursday night crowd." She rummaged around behind the bar and slapped a second piece of paper before Peridot. "And here's the performance schedule and our bar hours. Your shifts will mainly fall within these hours, so make sure you commit these to memory. All time off requests must be made two weeks in advance in writing, and are only requests until approved. When you come back tomorrow, make sure to bring your availability with you. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not actually a mind reader," Garnet finished with a grin. She glanced up over Peridot and gave a small nod to someone on stage. "Rose, it looks like you're needed up there."

"Oh, coming, gems!" Rose called. "It was just _lovely_ to meet you, Peridot," she said, and with that, scurried away to join the dancers on stage. There was a sudden _rat-a-tat-tat_ from Peridot's right and she noticed that the band appeared to be arriving as well. A short dark-skinned girl with a wild mane of lavender hair pulled back into a messy bun was sitting at the drum set, tapping the head of a drumstick against a snare. Her other hand was rotating in circles at her wrist, stopping once in a while for her to shake it out. _Rat-a-tat-tat._

"That's Amethyst," Garnet said, following Peridot's gaze. "I'd advise leaving now lest you end up in a never-ending conversation with her."

"Okay," Peridot said, wondering if  'never-ending conversation' was good or bad. "Um, nice to meet you, Garnet." She stuffed the two papers into her bag and turned around to leave, taking one last glance to the stage when--

_Her._

Peridot stopped in her tracks, her bag swinging absently against her leg, eyes wide as dinner plates and fixated on the last dancer to emerge from backstage.

A young woman, probably no older than Peridot herself, was standing tentatively upstage, staring inquisitively at a smartphone in her right hand. Her left hand was busy playing with a lock of electric blue hair that swept against her collarbone, somehow accentuating her shapely shoulders all the more for the color. Her skin was a rich copper, warm and sun-kissed, complimenting her toned arms and legs. She looked more like an athlete than a dancer, if Peridot was being honest with herself. She wore _very_ short skin-tight black shorts, and a light blue crop top, which perfectly showed off a shiny belly ring on her navel. As she slowly made her way down stage, Peridot could see the faintest outlines of a tattoo on the top of her shoulder.

 _Wow,_ was all Peridot could think. _This might be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen._ In all her years of being a hopeless lesbian, Peridot wasn't sure she had _ever_ seen someone who appealed to her quite as much as this person. She appeared to be close to six feet in height, and Peridot could only wonder _how_ tall she'd get in _her_ stilettos--

"--dot?" Peridot inhaled sharply as reality slammed into her all at once. Garnet had come up behind her and put her hand on her shoulder, startling Peridot out of her reverie. "Peridot? Are you alright?"

"YesI'mfine," Peridot mumbled, giving what she hoped was a casual smile. She could feel it was more like a grimace. "I was just, um, looking around a bit more! Since some of the lights are on!" she squeaked. Garnet glanced up at the stage where the dancers were standing in a loose circle, listening to Rose speak.

"She goes by Lapis Lazuli," Garnet said in a low voice. "Lapis normally." She gave Peridot's shoulder a squeeze. "Weren't you meeting with your landlord...?" Peridot's eyes bugged behind her glasses.

"Oh, _sh_ \-- you're right, I _am,"_ she muttered, and she hoisted her messenger bag higher onto her shoulder, momentarily forgetting about her own embarrassment and the fact Garnet noticed her ogling Lapis. "Ten a.m. tomorrow, right?"

"I'll see you then," Garnet said, and she gave a small wave as Peridot high-tailed it out of the club.

 _What on earth have I gotten myself into?_ Peridot wondered as she ran the entire five blocks home.

\---

She was so preoccupied with thoughts of the mysterious Lapis Lazuli during her meeting with her landlord she hadn't even noticed that the tiny angry elderly lady had agreed to the two-week rent extension.

"Miss Castillo, are you even listening?" Nanefua asked, glaring upwards at Peridot. Peridot nodded absently, and then remembered she was supposed to be acting very grateful.

"Yes. Yes! I am, and I'm very appreciative," Peridot gleaned. "Once I get my first paycheck, I promise I'll be able to make it in full. And then every month going forward, it'll be completely on-time." Nanefua clicked her tongue but patted Peridot's hand affectionately.

"You're lucky you're such a good girl," she said. "And that your roommate is such a sweet thing. The two of you remind me of my granddaughters so _much_ sometimes!" Peridot gave a weak smile and pulled her hand out of Nanefua's iron grip.

"Thanks, Nanefua, this really means a lot to me," Peridot said as she stood to leave. "Two weeks, in cash." Peridot made her leave and dashed up the narrow flight of stairs to her tiny two-bedroom apartment overlooking the alley. The apartment opened right into a small living room that stretched into a hallway, where her room was on one end, her roommate, Sadie's was on the other, and between the two was the kitchen, the only other shared space. Peridot kicked off her sneakers by the door and flopped down on the chair by the far wall, suddenly exhausted. It was just twelve-thirty now.

"Peridot, is that you?" a voice called, and Sadie appeared at the opening of the living room. She was already in her work uniform and brushing her teeth.

"Hi, Sadie," Peridot said, leaning her head back over the chair. She ran her fingers through her gelled blonde hair, trying to look a little less frazzled than she felt. "I got a job _and_ Nanefua is giving me a two-week rent extension." Sadie beamed through a mouthful of toothpaste, and disappeared for a moment to spit it out.

"That's great!" she called from the bathroom. She reappeared, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "The club on BC Boulevard?"

"Yes, that's the one," Peridot said, cracking her knuckles impulsively. "The, er, _burlesque_ club." Sadie giggled and raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, _well._ Did you get to take in a show?" she asked as she sat on the semi-broken futon beside Peridot. Peridot's cheeks darkened and she rolled her eyes.

"Of course not, _Sadie,_ it was like, ten a.m. They're open at..." Peridot rummaged in her bag for the papers Garnet had given her. "...seven. They open at seven. On... Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, apparently. Open at six on Saturdays."

"That's it?" Sadie said, leaning over and taking the paper from her hands. "Wow, all the other clubs on BC Boulevard are open _way_ more. No wonder I hadn't heard of this place." Peridot eyed her roommate suspiciously.

"How do _you_ know the schedules of the clubs over there?" she asked as Sadie handed it over. Sadie stood and sidled into the kitchen, filling her water bottle in the sink.

"Oh, Lars," she said simply. "He spent a lot of time at the student center on Ocean Town Ave when he was in high school. Some of the counselors told some _lurid_ tales, I heard." Peridot snickered despite herself but looked back down at the paper in her hands. Now that she thought about it, the other clubs _were_ open a lot more. Seven p.m. to two a.m. Wednesday through Saturday; not open Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. She'd be getting paid through her "boot camp" but then what? Even if she worked every single day they were open at every hour, it still wasn't "full time".

 _Well, at least it's a good opportunity to learn bartending,_ she thought to herself. As if reading her mind, Sadie paused in packing up her work bag to look up at her roommate.

"Why do you want to be a bartender, again?" Sadie asked, eyebrows quirked. "Aren't you in school for _engineering?_ Doesn't that pay pretty well?" Peridot quickly averted her gaze back down to the papers in her lap.

"It's.... interesting," she offered. "Besides, it's good to have customer service skills, right? I'm terrible at retail, and every other aspect of food service sounds... unappealing." _Besides, bartending is where the real money is,_ she thought to herself. _Since I may never be able to finish my degree anyway._ Sadie accepted the answer with a shrug as she tugged on her boots and headed for the door.

"See ya, Peridot," she said, giving a small wave and disappearing. Peridot raised three fingers and watched the door swing shut. She figured she should probably eat something, but instead kept staring at the flyer. _The Crystal Temple Burlesque Club._ A club catered extensively to women, by women. A place she might feel somewhat _comfortable_ for once.

It also happened to be the home of the first woman Peridot found herself _unabashedly attracted to_ in a _long_ time.

"Well," Peridot said, more to the apartment than herself, "here goes nothing."


	2. The Band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot breaks some glasses, learns to appreciate swing music and bumbles around pretty girls.

Bartending was _not_ something Peridot was a natural at. This much became evident almost immediately.

Peridot was _finally_ sitting down behind the bar after three-and-a-half hours of words being thrown at her, bottles handled poorly, and two broken glasses. Her stomach was in knots and she felt altogether miserable. Sure, she wasn’t great at _everything_ , and she could normally get a handle on topics she encountered. But _this—_ it was like learning an alien language.

“I think you did very well for being so new,” Garnet offered after a few minutes of panicked silence from Peridot. The other main bartender, one of the few who didn’t adopt a gemstone name, Sheena, placed the crate of glasses she was carrying down on top of the bar and gave Peridot’s shoulder a mighty pat, causing her to look up.

“Don’t be _too_ hard on yourself, kid,” she said with a wink, tugging on her bright pink braid. “These things take time.” She deftly pulled three martini glasses out of the crate by their stems and whisked them away under the bar in what felt like record time.

“Sheena’s also _very_ good, and has been doing this a _long_ time,” Garnet said, leaning beside Peridot to move out of Sheena’s way. “She’s probably worked in every club and bar on BC Boulevard.” Sheena scoffed and started re-racking wine glasses.

“Not every, just most,” she responded, looking over her shoulder at Peridot. “Besides, I broke an entire shelf’s worth of glasses my very first week bartending. It’s basically a rite of passage, and hey! You did catch that last one.”

“That’s… true,” Peridot mumbled, head in hand. Garnet picked up her clipboard and flicked through the papers she had been training Peridot from.

“Okay, quiz time,” she said as Sheena leaned against the back bar, wiping her hands on a towel. Peridot sighed and rose off the stool, the balls of her feet yelling in protest. Beat-up Vans were _not_ the ideal footwear for this job, she noted. “I’ll start with something easy; basic well drinks. These are the most requested basic drink orders we get.” She then turned to Sheena, who was scrolling through her phone. “Sheena, can you please go to the other side of the counter and pretend to be a patron?” Sheena dropped the towel onto the back bar and propelled herself over to the other side of the counter, landing with a thick _thud._

“Asking me to play my past self?” Sheena said with a grin, leaning forwards on her elbows. Peridot raised her eyebrows.

“You used to come here?” Peridot asked, glancing around the darkened club. Sheena gave a low chuckle.

“What kind of lesbian would I be if I didn’t?” she responded, eyes brightening at Peridot’s reddening face. “There is a dancer here I was rather fond of.” She flicked her braid over her shoulder and Peridot wondered just _who_ she was talking about. “But then I discovered that the staff here all rock and are really cool and nice and friendly, and when two of the bartenders quit unexpectedly, I offered my services.”

“Alright, we’re getting off-topic,” Garnet said, although she was still smiling. “I just got a text from Bismuth – the band is coming in to rehearse very soon. You _know_ all they’ll do is distract Peridot and we need her to focus for a bit more.” Garnet then focused on Peridot.

“Alright, Peridot. Sheena has just come up to the bar and caught your eye. You walk over and…” Peridot, picking up her cue, leaned forward on the bar (quite a feat at her short size) and tried to emulate Sheena’s relaxed nonchalance.

“What can I get you?” she asked. Sheena pondered for a moment, narrowing her eyes at the high shelves of liquor behind her.

“How about…” she glanced at Garnet, who mouthed ‘well drink’ at her, and then looked back at Peridot. “How about a gin and tonic?”

“Sure,” Peridot said, taking a step back to locate the well at her left. She grabbed a short, square glass from her right, placed it on the counter, then located the gin from the left of the well. Placing that on the counter as well, she glanced up at Garnet, who just gave a short nod, and continued. Peridot reached for the soda nozzles, carefully filling the glass half-way. She then picked up the gin bottle, her heart thumping in her throat, and tipped it over. The speed pourer still caught her by surprise and she only counted a few seconds before tilting it back up, moving so fast some droplets flew from the pourer. Sheena was watching the entire interaction with interest, biting her lower lip.

Not wanting to lose an entire bottle of gin to her clumsiness, Peridot replaced the bottle _very_ carefully and stared at the drink she had made. After a moment, she grabbed a napkin from a small box and slapped it on the counter, moving the glass over it. She then grabbed a stirrer and put that in as well, sliding it over to Sheena.

“H-how was that?” Peridot asked, and Sheena took a hearty swig on the drink, much to former’s surprise. Sheena smacked her lips a few times and looked thoughtful.

“Not bad,” she said, and Peridot felt her shoulders sag in relief. _Why am I so nervous about this?_ she wondered as Garnet wrote on her clipboard.

“A few things,” Garnet said, taking the glass from Sheena. “No ice.”

“Oh… right,” Peridot mumbled. She glanced at the empty ice basin and pursed her lips.

“Easy enough fix,” Sheena admitted. “You also didn’t ask if I wanted a lime.” She gestured to the few lime wedges sitting in a small container near the napkins, cut up for her training earlier. Peridot deepened her frown as she glanced at the lime. “Green even seems to be your color.”

“Yeah, I’m a fan,” she said, putting her head in her hands again. “Anything else I missed?”

“The gin to tonic ratio is a bit… skewed,” Sheena offered, taking another sip from the glass. “But the speed pourers can take a bit to get used to. For your first time, you did fairly well. It’s not overwhelming and you didn’t waste any at least. That’ll make the people with the money happy.” She sent a sidelong glance to Garnet, who gave a half-smile in return.

“I’d say a very solid B,” Garnet said, checking something off on her clipboard. “Now—“

Whatever else Garnet was about to say was silenced as the front door opened with a _bang_ followed by a sound that could only be described as a shrill squeak. All three of them turned to the door where a very large guitar-shaped bag was being pushed through by someone that was practically half its size. There was a single wheel on the bottom of the guitar-shaped case, the apparent cause of the squeaking.

Behind it came a person whom Peridot assumed was its owner. They were easily the same height as her, maybe an inch taller, and had thick, wavy black hair that came down around their ears. They had large, bright brown eyes and their cheeks and shoulders were dusted in dozens of dark freckles, accentuating their tanned skin. They were thickset but looked like they could probably bench press Peridot without a problem, if the way they handled this huge instrument was any indication.

“C’mon, c’mon, _come on, just work with me for once_ ,” they were muttering as they shuffled past the bar. Sheena hopped out of the way as it came towards her.

“Need a hand, Smoky?” she asked, and the person glanced up with a smile.

“Oh, sorry, Sheena! I didn’t notice you there,” they said, stopping to wipe the sweat from their brow. “I’ve been fighting with this thing for two blocks. The wheel got busted the other day and it’s really biting me in the ass now.”

“I thought Greg was bringing the van?” Garnet said, glancing down at her phone in her hand. “That’s what Bismuth said. Bringing some new equipment?”

“Yeah, but I was already on the subway with this guy and I didn’t feel like waiting out in the sun for ‘em to get to me, just for _two blocks,_ ” the person said. It was then they caught sight of Peridot, still leaning on the bar. “Oh! You must be the new bartender. You can call me Smoky Quartz! Or just Smoky. Nice to meet ya!”

“I’m… Peridot,” Peridot said, offering her hand for a shake. Smoky shook her hand vigorously, accompanying the gesture with a warm smile. Their grip was like iron and Peridot had to flex her hand after being released.

“And this is Bill,” Smoky said, gesturing to the massive bag leaning against them. “He’s shy.”

“Uh,” Peridot said, eyeing the bag. “Bill?”

“He’s my double bass,” Smoky explained, patting the side of the parcel. When Peridot just gave them a weird look, Smoky chuckled. “It’s like a really big violin, but in bass clef.”

“Oh,” Peridot said, suddenly remembering how little she knew about actual instruments. “Well, he looks… great.”

“He _is_ great,” Smoky insisted, looking very pleased. “His biggest flaw is just his… static nature.” Another pat. “We’ll work on it, right Bill?” The double bass did not respond. Peridot furrowed her brow. “It’s a musician thing. We all get kind of possessive of our instruments, y’know? When the others get here, you’ll get it.”

“Well, speak of the devil,” Sheena said, interrupting the conversation. “Looks like the band’s all here.”

The door was kicked open again, this time by a large, dark-skinned woman who could _absolutely_ bench press Peridot. And probably Garnet and Sheena, too. She had rainbow colored dreads pulled back into an elastic and was carrying a small rectangular bag under one arm, and a long rectangular box from her shoulder. She had a big yellow star on the front of her maroon overalls and wasn’t paying attention to where she was walking because she was too busy talking to the _other_ giant woman behind her.

“—I _swear_ that’s how they said it! You can ask Greg, _he was there!_ And then I— _oof,_ ” the woman cried as she walked straight into a table. Garnet let out a laugh and leaned on one arm on the counter.

“Good one, Bis,” she said, giving the woman a toothy smile. The woman (Bismuth?) grinned.

“Now _who_ put that table there?” she called, and the second woman clapped her hand on the first one’s shoulder.

“Move aside, _please,_ ” the second woman said, brushing easily past Bismuth. Bismuth gave a playful slap to the other’s back between the two large bags she was carrying on either shoulder. She had bleach-blonde hair in a high ponytail and was carrying two large boxes under both arms in _addition_ to the bags on her back.

_Holy cow,_ Peridot thought to herself as both women approached Smoky Quartz. _This place is just full of giant, beautiful women._

“Where’re the others?” Smoky asked over their shoulder as the other two approached.

“Probably distracted with something in the back of the van, that thing is _filled_ with junk,” the second woman said, gesturing back with her shoulder. Her voice was raspy and low and _definitely_ one of a long-time musician. “I don’t know how Rose stands it.” The three of them were now stopped right by the half-finished drink Peridot had made. “Starting early?” the woman asked, throwing a glance over to Garnet.

“Training our new hire,” Garnet replied, walking over to Peridot. “Everyone, this is Peridot. Peridot, this is part of our in-house band.”

“ _Part?_ ” Bismuth gasped with a hearty laugh. “Jasper and I make up half just by ourselves, _easily._ ” She nudged the other woman and both laughed, Smoky rolling their eyes.

“Yeah, whatever,” Smoky mumbled through a smile. “That’s Bismuth,” they nodded at the woman in the maroon overalls, “and that’s Jasper. They play… how many instruments between the two of you?”

“Five,” Jasper answered, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder. “So, you know, half of them.”

“Okay, but we _really_ don’t play any songs with the clarinet,” Smoky said pointedly, “so that brings you down to four, _actually._ ” Jasper scoffed.

“What kind of jazz ensemble is this,” she muttered, shoving past Smoky and Bismuth. “No _clarinet_ my _ass.”_

“How many people are in the band?” Peridot asked as Bismuth followed the mumbling Jasper to the band platform. A baby grand piano and drum set were already sitting neatly in the dim overhead light.

“Those three,” Sheena said, “with Amethyst on drums, Sardonyx on piano and Greg on guitar.”

“Speaking of Sard,” Bismuth called from up on the platform where she was holding what appeared to be half of a trombone, “have you guys seen her? She said she was already here.”

“No, it’s been only us for hours,” Garnet called back. “We definitely would have heard Sardonyx by now if she were here.”

“Hmm…” Bismuth said thoughtfully. She placed the instrument down onto the black bag at her feet and ran off behind the curtain.

“What’s back there?” Peridot asked, realizing she had never been given a tour of the entire club. She had only seen the bar and the basement storeroom where all the liquor and kegs were kept.

“Backstage stuff,” a new voice said from the doorway. An older man had entered, guitar case on his back, long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. “Dressing rooms, light panels, that kind of stuff. Rehearsal spaces.”

“Hi Greg,” Sheena called, and Garnet gave a simple wave. Peridot couldn’t stop her face from screwing up in confusion.

All the other members of the band – hell, all the other people she’d met working here – were women in their twenties and thirties. The man who walked in was easily older, probably in his early forties at the _least,_ and was _not_ a beautiful woman in the slightest.

“Greg, this is Peridot,” Garnet said as he walked over to them. Amethyst, the drummer whom Peridot had seen during her interview, entered right after Greg, swinging the door shut and pushing a dolly piled with boxes. “Greg is Rose’s partner.”

“Hey!” Greg said, offering a friendly hand. Peridot gave a half-smile back. Amethyst gave a short wave with a “Yo!” before pushing past Greg with the dolly.

“JASPER!” Amethyst yelled, causing Jasper to look up from where she was flipping through sheet music.

“WHAT?” Jasper yelled back. Amethyst took the top box and chucked it up at her.

“CATCH!” she cried, and Smoky ducked as Jasper lunged for the box. Jasper toed the edge of the platform as Amethyst cackled, but Jasper was able to pull herself back with Smoky’s help. The three of them lapsed into raucous laughter as Amethyst continued to hand the boxes up to Jasper.

“Quartzes,” Garnet muttered to herself, shaking her head. Peridot looked from the band, back to Sheena and Garnet, then back to the band, trying to puzzle through what ‘quartzes’ could have possibly meant. She decided it wasn’t the time to ask.

“Anyway, Greg, if you’re here early, who’s going to be home for Steven?” Sheena inquired, stirring the half-empty glass.

“Oh! Right, Rose is going to be late tonight,” Greg said, checking his watch. “I was supposed to pass the message on. We swapped some stuff around so I could haul in all this new gear and we could have a proper rehearsal with it before the weekend.” Garnet flipped through a few pages on her clipboard and made a note. “Steven has a school project that he needs help on anyway, and Rose is so much better at that stuff than me. It worked out all around, I think! But I should probably get this rehearsal started, huh? See you guys later.” He shuffled off with a small wave, going over to join the rest of the band on the platform. Amethyst, Jasper and Smoky were still laughing and were now chucking pieces of Styrofoam at each other from the first opened box.

“And _that_ is why we wanted to get the important stuff done,” Sheena commented. “Look at them.”

“They’re fine,” Garnet said, removing her apron and taking the abandoned glass from the counter. “But I agree, we’re not going to get much more done today. It’s probably best to stop here. I’m going to start getting things ready for tonight – Sheena, you should probably get some rest. I _know_ you were out late last night,” Garnet added with a knowing smile. Sheena beamed innocently.

“Who, _me?_ ” she responded playfully. “What, did a little birdie tell you?” Garnet huffed and grinned.

“As a matter of fact, she _did,_ and _you_ should know better,” Garnet said, and for the first time, Peridot saw Sheena look somewhat bashful.

Peridot found that she was twisting her hands together in her lap throughout the entire exchange, an anxious knot welling in her stomach. _Everyone is so… close to each other here,_ she thought. _It’s so… intimate._ She’d never been good at integrating into close-knit groups like this; another thing she wasn’t very good at. _Like bartending. And music._

_What am I_ doing _here?_

Peridot was just about to duck into the back room when a soft plucking caught her attention. Smoky began playing a low bass line, treating the double bass like a bass guitar. Jasper was tapping her heal in time to Smoky’s bass line, and in a flash, she had an alto saxophone put together and hanging low from her neck. Amethyst was busy tearing open the boxes, pulling various pieces of electrical equipment from inside.

“Are they any good?” Peridot asked, allowing the staccato bass line to run through her. Even if she knew _nothing_ about music and couldn’t play an instrument to save her life, she still appreciated it live. The knot in her stomach unwound a bit. As if on cue, Jasper joined in with the bass, playing some sort of jazz melody to accompany Smoky.

“I’d say so,” Garnet said as Peridot’s eyes went wide. “Like what you hear?”

“That’s one of their warmup songs,” Sheena explained, tapping her foot against the base of the bar. “It’s a swing version of a pop song.” Just then, the curtain parted, and Bismuth re-appeared, followed by a slightly taller woman wearing cat-eyed glasses.

“Hey, everyone’s here!” Greg said from behind the band, a guitar strapped to his back. “Where were you hiding, Sard?” The music stopped suddenly and Peridot found herself wishing it was back. She had never really listened to music like that, but maybe she could learn to like it, working here.

“Rehearsal room, _of course,_ ” the bespectacled woman said, running her fingers through her bleached afro. “Darling Lapis asked for my help with one of her routines.” The knot that _had_ been untightening in Peridot’s gut suddenly tightened again, but for an entirely different reason than her awkward newness.

_Lapis Lazuli._ Her heart climbed into her throat and she swallowed thickly. _She’s here. Will I get to meet her today?_

“Oh, Lapis is here?” Greg said, glancing down at his watch. “Isn’t she early?”

“You _know_ how she gets with new routines, Gregory,” Sardonyx said as she gracefully slid onto the piano bench. “I tried to entice her to come out here but she was _not_ having it.”

“True. Well, everyone, it’s already past two, so let’s get started,” Greg said, coming to the center of the small ensemble. “We’ve got a lot to cover, especially if we want to be ready for the new routine on Saturday night. Did everyone get the sheet music from Rose?”

“You’re free to go, if you’d like.” Garnet’s voice cut through the din of the band like water, smooth and refreshing. Peridot could see why she oversaw the bar, with a presence like that. “You can stay for the rehearsal but it won’t be on the clock.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Peridot said, hands curled into loose fists at her sides. Garnet placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“You did well today, Peridot,” Garnet said gently, sunglasses hanging loose from her shirt between them. “You really did. It’s not easy, learning how to tend a full bar. You’ll learn; I have faith in you.”

“Thanks,” Peridot stammered, feeling a bit better with the verbal approval. She let her fists loosen and glanced back over to the band. Smoky was working their way through a line of music, plucking agitatedly and starting over again and again. Bismuth was holding a trombone in her hand and using the slide to poke Amethyst in the leg, who was rolling her wrists like she had the first day Peridot was in the club. Sardonyx has leafing through piles and _piles_ of sheet music and various books, putting small marks here and there as she went. Jasper was turning a very small silver screw on her mouthpiece, closing one ear, and playing one note, wincing, and then starting again. Tuning, Peridot guessed. Even their cacophony of sounds was more melodic than anything she could produce. But watching them fuss was almost calming, in a way. Tranquil. _Maybe I can like it here after all._

“Hey! New girl!” Bismuth called, retracting her slide and standing. “Got any requests? We need more warmups.”

“Uh,” Peridot stuttered, realizing that was quickly becoming her standard phrase. “I don’t… really know… this kind of music.” Bismuth shrugged.

“How about this – do you like music fast or slow?” she asked.

“Er… slow?” Peridot said, giving a wary smile. Bismuth licked her thumb and turned a page on the music stand in front of her.

“I know just the thing,” she said, and turned to the rest of the band. “Number twenty, guys – Greg, starts with an e-flat chord. Swing it _heavy._ Ame, stick to no _faster_ than 90 BPM.” Peridot blinked. Amethyst responded with a rim shot and a crash cymbal. “Sard?”

“Already on it,” Sardonyx called back, and suddenly, there was music. It started in the back with Greg, with Sardonyx adding accompanying chords to his. She was watching Bismuth out of the corner of her eye, not even watching where her long fingers were going. It was impressive.

Amethyst joined in with a steady beat, swung hard and low, and Bismuth reached down into her bag and grabbed what appeared to be the end of a plunger and stuck it into the bell of the trombone. She kicked Jasper in the shin, and they joined in as well.

The sound bellowed out into the empty theater, enveloping Peridot and running up through her limbs. Maybe it was because she was listening to it live in a place built for the sound, or maybe it was because she had nothing else to focus on and was _forced_ to experience the music, but whatever it was, Peridot found herself leaning into the sound. It was slow and…

“Wow, this is _dirty,”_ a voice from behind her said suddenly, and Peridot jumped as Sheena reappeared from the back. She had tossed a sweatshirt over her white button-down and was leaning against the other side of the counter. “Not sure I’ve heard this one.”

“You have, darling,” Sardonyx called over the slow melody. She cleared her throat and glanced down at her music, before looking up again and nodding over at Greg. Greg gave a steady nod, and she began to sing.

“ _I walk the streets of New Orleans, with the girl of my dreams…_ _I’ve seen a dozen brass bands play and swing, while little children laugh, and dance, and sing…”_ Her voice was clipped yet raw, with a harshness that Peridot would have expected from Jasper. It suited the sound perfectly.

“Oh, I _do_ know this song,” Sheena said, bringing her hand to her chin. “This is one of Lapis’s tunes.” At the name, Peridot’s ears turned bright red, and she spun around to face Sheena.

“What do you mean, one of her ‘song’s?” Peridot asked, fingers digging into the top of the bar as if she were hanging from its edge over a cliff. Sheena chuckled.

“She dances to it, of course,” Sheena replied, curling a loose lock around her finger with a grin.

_Oh._ Of course. She was a dancer, this was a burlesque club. The sensual melody continued to flow around them, the notes warming Peridot’s skin to a slight flush. She jumped as Amethyst added an extra _crash_ on the cymbals followed by a “Whooo _wooooo_!” While she had been talking to Sheena, Peridot had completely missed the house lights coming up on the stage and the curtain parting just a smidge. Someone was on stage.

“ _I’ve seen old men drunk, singin’ the blues, with top hats and canes and spectator shoes. I consider myself lucky, to have fallen in looove, with a girl, a city, and the river of mud—Let me knooow…_ ”

Apparently, Lapis _had_ noticed one of her songs was playing. Peridot’s stomach coiled in and her chest tightened as Lapis moved downstage in a graceful twirl. Her shock of blue hair was clipped back, and she was wearing the same skin-tight shorts as the day before. However, instead of a crop top or a leotard, she wore a royal blue, satin-covered corset. It started at her hips and settled just beneath her collar bone, accentuating the curves she already naturally flaunted. It was simple, with no design and plain silver clasps running up the front, the entire ensemble finished off with a black choker that tied into a bow down her back.

It was the _hottest_ thing Peridot had ever seen.

“ _Let me knoooow… where I can go, to save my soul? Let me know! Where I can go, to save my soul?”_

Lapis gave a haughty smirk to the band, which Sardonyx acknowledged with a nod and a wink. Lapis raised her arms above her head in a circle, crossed her legs, and then crossed her arms at the elbows, bringing her hands down to her upper arms, and slowly wiggling her body back and forth until she was crouching at the edge of the stage.

“Wooooooooooooo go Lapis!” Amethyst called from the drum set, standing up and nearly knocking over the hi-hat. Lapis winked and then closed both her eyes, as she moved her hands to the floor and then laid down along the edge of the stage, one leg hanging off the stage altogether. Her arms laid above her head and she turned to the side, her body twisted. She looked like she was taking an uncomfortable nap.

“Huh,” Peridot muttered to herself. She glanced at Sheena. “Is she going to—“

“Shush,” Sheena said, poking Peridot’s shoulder. “Watch.” Peridot glanced back up, and was suddenly rewarded for her obedience.

Lapis lifted herself from the floor from her abdomen, curling up as _slowly_ as possible. Her back arched perfectly, one arm following the curve until she had one hand in the air. She turned onto the other arm, so the curve of her back was tilted towards the empty audience, and used her free arm to remove the clip from her hair.

Sheathes of blue hair swept down her face and over her shoulders, somewhat wavy and messy in a very lived-in way. She shook her head, opening her eyes to half mast, and gave a tiny smile out to the club.

Peridot gulped. _Oh no._

Lapis suddenly whipped her head around in time to the music, rising to her knees and facing out towards the bar. She closed her eyes, threw her head back, and brought her hands up to her chest. Peridot watched, barely breathing, as Lapis pressed her hands fingers-down against her chest and _slooooowly_ dragged them down the length of her torso, ending at her thighs. She then dragged her hands back up the length of her body, trailing her fingertips lightly up from her thighs, her stomach, over her ribcage, back up to the inside curve of her breasts, where she lingered for _far_ too long than should be allowed. She then ended at her collarbone, where she tilted her head to the side and dragged her hands through her hair, further tousling it. Her arms were now extended over her head, head still tilted to the side, the pose accentuating the curve of her hips and the cinch of her waist.

And then, she _sighed._

Her voice was _musical,_ easily drowning out the loud band within ten feet of Peridot. Peridot suddenly felt extremely light headed, and realized she had been taking tiny, shallow breaths while watching the entire performance. She took a deep, restorative breath, placing a hand on her own chest.

“You alright?” Sheena inquired. Peridot could only nod. Lapis had gotten to her feet and was running one hand through her hair. She stopped towards the back, and pulled gently, tossing her head to the side as she did so. Peridot sucked in a sharp breath, biting her lower lip in the process.

_Oh, oh no._

_“Let me knoooow… let me knooooow… where I can goooo… to save my souuuul….”_

Lapis then gave a few small twirls, lifting her left leg as she did so. She ended her twirling clutching her left ankle, her foot lifted completely above her head. Peridot gripped the edge of the counter. The blue-haired dancer dropped her foot, the arm holding it gracefully arcing over her head, and she bent backwards at the waist, slowly dropping to the floor in a split. She laid back against the stage, hair fanned out in a halo behind her, when she suddenly flipped herself over. She was now on her stomach, hair in her face, legs pressed against the floor, and she hinged at the waist, holding herself on her forearms. With a flick of her long neck she threw her hair back, and arched backwards, pressing her legs and pelvis into the floor. Her back curved just as it had before, except now Peridot discovered it was _much_ easier to pretend she was pressed under her in this posit—

_Wait, WHAT?_

“Ow!” Peridot screeched, snapping out of her daydream and back into reality. Her index finger on her right hand was searing in pain. Apparently, she had dug _so_ hard into the bar she broke a nail.

The band didn’t stop playing but Lapis stopped dancing, instead rolling over and standing up in surprise.

“Who’s there?” Lapis called, and it dawned on Peridot that Lapis probably couldn’t see the bar that well with the bright house lights on-stage.

“Are you okay?” Sheena asked as Garnet reappeared from the back. Peridot, red-faced and sweating, nodded.

“Y-yeah,” she stammered, annoyed and embarrassed. “Yeah, I’m okay. I think I hit my hand on something.” Peridot glanced up at the stage to see that Lapis had disappeared. The band had also stopped playing, although Amethyst was keeping a steady beat.

_Damnit,_ she thought to herself. _Peridot Castillo, you useless lesbian. Now you won’t get the chance to—_

“Hey, what’s going on down here?” A voice to Peridot’s left brought her _once again_ back to reality. She turned to see the one and only Lapis Lazuli, corseted and barefoot, standing beside her, brow dotted with sweat.

“Nice rehearsal, Lapis,” Garnet said from behind Peridot. “This is Peridot, our new bartender. Peridot, this is Lapis Lazuli.”

“Uh,” Peridot said.

“Hi,” Lapis responded. “You can just call me Lapis.”

“Okay,” Peridot said back, her voice strained. “C-cool.” Lapis just looked at her, eyes traveling from her messy blonde hair to her wrinkled clothes to her clunky shoes, and then back up, settling on her round dorky glasses.

“Your dance was… great,” Peridot offered suddenly. “Really, really great.”

_Wow,_ she thought to herself. _Wow. Wow. Great? Really? Is that it? All you’re gonna say?_ Great? _Regular Shakespeare you are!_

“Thanks,” Lapis said, face neutral, eyes still taking her in. “I’m rusty on that one.”

“You always manage to work out the kinks,” Garnet said, handing a glass of water to Lapis. “You should also rest before tonight if you want to try out that routine. How long have you been here?”

“Only a couple hours,” Lapis answered. “I borrowed Pearl’s back door key.”

“Hmm,” Garnet said. “Interesting, considering she never loans it out.” Lapis snickered.

“She may not know I have it,” she countered, a wry smile spreading across her face. She dipped her fingers into the glass and flicked some water onto her face.

“Try not to make a habit of it,” Garnet advised, although the small smile on her lips betrayed her stern tone. Lapis ran her hand through her hair and fluffed it up, pulling the small hair clip out of her pocket and clipping her hair back once again.

“I’ll do my best,” Lapis said, rubbing her cheek with her hand. She eyed Peridot once more, trailing from her shirt collar up to her face. Peridot met her glance, and for a moment, their eyes locked. Lapis’s eyes were a dark chocolate brown, almost black, with specks of gold, similar to her namesake. They were almond-shaped and were framed by long, thick lashes. _Beautiful. She’s beautiful. She’s radiant. She’s divine._ Peridot’s thoughts were so muddled she couldn’t stop her mouth from opening and--

“You’re very pretty!” Peridot suddenly blurted. Lapis’s eyes widened and her cheeks darkened in surprise.

“O-oh, thank you,” Lapis responded, a tiny smile gracing her face. Peridot said nothing, face just as red as before. Garnet was standing between them, arms crossed, eyes flicking between them. “I’m uh, gonna go back to the dressing rooms.” Behind them, the band had started up again, playing their way through one of the new pieces Greg had provided.

“It was nice meeting you,” Lapis said, giving a small wave to Peridot. She turned and all but ran through the door underneath the band platform, leaving Garnet and Peridot standing by the bar.

“Did… Did I just say that?” Peridot stammered, still staring at the space Lapis was just occupying. Garnet tilted her head to the side and said nothing. “I’m just… gonna leave now.”

“Be here tomorrow at noon,” Garnet said, grabbing her clipboard from the edge of the counter. “We’re going to do a lot of drink roleplaying tomorrow.”

“Oh, great,” Peridot muttered, taking the paper Garnet offered. “What’s this?”

“These are the basic drinks we make, as well as the specialty cocktails,” Garnet explained. “I would recommend committing this as much to memory by Friday as possible.”

“I’ll do my best,” Peridot said, pocketing the paper. As Garnet bustled away, Peridot shot one last glance at the stage, hoping Lapis had maybe returned and she could save face somehow. She was greeted with predictable stillness. She sighed.

“Leaving so soon, Peridot?” a voice called behind her, and she spun around to see the entire band looking down at her, still playing. Sardonyx had been the one to call out.

“Yeah, I’ll be back tomorrow,” Peridot called back.

“Byyyyyyye!” Smoky said, and the band suddenly ceased. Peridot, who had already begun walking to the door, turned back at their silence.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Peridot!” Sardonyx called and there was a sudden chorus of _byes_ and _great to meet yous!_ washing over her. Peridot smiled in surprise at the warm departure, face still hot from her encounter with Lapis, but feeling overall… pretty good.

_Maybe I’ll enjoy it here after all,_ she thought as she left the building behind for the rest of the sunny afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent most of my life in various different musical ensembles, and yet, even as a clarinet/alto sax player, a jazz band was never one of them (save for a brief time in high school when I "learned" the trombone). Jasper is on alto/tenor sax due to the fact that I was in band for three years with an alto/tenor player named Jasper; he was super chill.
> 
> Warm-up song: Crabbuckit by The Good Lovelies (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g_YnMVMOHE)  
> Lapis's rehearsal song: Save My Soul by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5IEt63qOSI)
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, they make my day :)


	3. The First Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Peridot's first night on the job and it's only 20% of the disaster she expected it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/8/18 Update: Re-uploaded because I caught a plothole detail of my own making, oof. It's minor but hey! It's fixed now.

It was apparent, fairly quickly, why the small club was only open evenings four days a week. Peridot was already two hours into her very first shift and the mood in the club was…. _somnolent_ was the ten-dollar word Sardonyx had used. It was eight p.m. on a Saturday night, and Peridot _knew_ that the entire Gay Village was alive. She had waded through thickets of revelers out on the sidewalks to make it in time for her six p.m. start time, and fully expected the doors to be bursting once they opened at seven.

This was _not_ the case. The club wasn’t empty by any means; there were patrons at about half of the tables, and drinks were being sold at a steady clip. The band, now dressed in all black with various gem-related adornments, were cruising along through their opening set.  The atmosphere was pleasant, if a bit awkward. She had met the lighting duo, a quiet couple called Ruby and Sapphire, for the first time that evening, as well as the waiters. Three college kids from her alma mater (if one could call the school you were basically kicked out of your ‘alma mater’) served as the three waiters. All three of them tended to hang around the side of the bar, whispering to each other or playing on their phones. Peridot leaned against the back bar, arms crossed, watching them intently.

“Okay, you’ll _loooooove_ this one, Buck, I swear,” the only girl, Jenny, said in a stage whisper, elbowing one of the other waiters. Buck frowned at her and rubbed his side where she had pressed into him.

“Jenny, I don’t ‘looooooove’ anything,” he whispered back, pushing her phone from where she had shoved it under his nose. “Stop trying to get me to ‘looooooove’ things.”

“Hey,” Sheena called from beside Peridot, “one of you bring this to table three.” She slid a tall glass of one of the draft beers down the counter, and the third waiter, Sour Cream, caught it with one hand without even looking up.

“Got it,” he said simply, hopping off the bar stool he was sitting on and whisking it away. Sheena sighed and leaned back against the back bar beside Peridot, crossing her arms over her chest. She shot a grin down at Peridot, who was mimicking her pose.

“How’s it goin’ so far?” Sheena asked in a quiet voice. Peridot shrugged.

“Uneventful,” she admitted. There was a shout and a loud _bang_ from the street outside, and through the glass paned doors Peridot could see people shuffling to and fro in large groups just past them. “Is it… always like this? It just seems so… empty.” Sheena sighed softly.

“Welcome to the Crystal Temple,” was all she said in response. Peridot pursed her lips. Sheena’s tone was sad and wistful, and it pulled at something within her. She glanced out once more to the tables scattered throughout the club, and how empty they seemed. Most only had one person at them, and they appeared to be people the staff knew quite well. Regulars, enough to come out even in the end, hopefully. Certainly not enough to create revenue…

“When do the performances start?” Peridot asked, hoping to lighten the mood. Sheena’s lips turned up into a grin as she checked her watch.

“It’s eight now, so pretty soon,” she said as someone approached the bar. She was a younger woman, probably her mid-twenties, and appeared to know Sheena. Sheena sidled up to the front bar and Peridot watched closely as she spoke to her in a gentle tone, complimenting her makeup and hair. Sheena was the best bartender there, and Peridot wanted to be sure she didn’t miss a tip.

She noted how Sheena leaned forward, arms tucked under her chest, her bright pink hair trickling down to the counter in soft ringlets, and coaxed a drink from this young woman. Barely moving, Sheena reached for a glass without looking, flipping it up onto the counter and deftly filling it with coke and rum, stirring it with a flick of her wrist and sliding it across the counter. The girl’s cheeks were bright pink and she seemed flustered, placing a bill down on the counter. It was twenty dollars, and the drink didn’t even cost ten. Sheena made her change, her smile still big and bright, eyes hooded, and tried to hand the change back to the girl, but the girl shook her head and gestured back in earnest. Sheena’s eyes widened in surprise and she blew a kiss to the girl, who took her drink and immediately ran back to sit with her friend at a table close to the stage. Sheena gave a small wave as she went back over to where Peridot was standing, mouth open in surprise.

“Here,” Sheena said, handing a few of the dollars Peridot’s way. “I don’t need all of ‘em.”

“A-are you sure?” Peridot stammered in surprise. Sheena pocketed the remaining bills with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Besides, you learn to be like me and you’ll get plenty of tips.”

“That was… impressive,” Peridot admitted, sliding the folded bills into her apron pocket. “You seemed really interested in that girl.” Sheena cast her gaze over to the girl at the table, who was speaking with her friend, her cheeks still bright pink.

“She’s cute, I’ll give her that,” Sheena said, running a hand through her hair, “but not my type.” Peridot was about to ask what her type was when the apparent answer appeared in a flurry of sequins.

Pearl was suddenly at the side of the bar, near the trio of distracted waiters, wrapped in a pale blue silk dressing gown with a dainty scripted _P_ on the left breast. It was outlined in what looked like very small crystals. She seemed quite flustered, her eyes round and searching.

“Sheena!” she gasped as Sheena immediately brightened and shuffled by Peridot. The elder woman immediately leaned forward on the bar, taking both of Pearl’s dainty hands in her own and squeezing them gently. Pearl’s entire face was done up for the stage, foundation with lipstick, eyeshadow, even fake eyelashes – the works. Even though it was a bit heavy for the lights, Peridot still found her quite pretty. Her light hair was curled and slicked back, her nails painted a very light pink. Sheena softened immediately as they spoke in low voices, Sheena reaching out and cupping Pearl’s cheek lightly. Pearl pulled her hand from Sheena’s and placed it over the one on her cheek, and they leaned in towards each other, speaking softly. Peridot was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling she was intruding in a _very_ private moment, and glanced away.

Off to the side of the stage was the owner of the club, Rose Quartz. She was right in Peridot’s line of vision, wearing a black bustier with a long, ruffled skirt that kissed the floor as she walked. Her pink ringlets were loose on her shoulders, a shock against the black of her ensemble. Her normally serene face was pulled into a distraught expression, her smartphone in her hand. Garnet was beside her, saying something that only Rose could hear. Garnet, the very picture of calm, also appeared to be worried about something, her clipboard tucked under her arm. Garnet’s hand was holding Rose’s arm, her grip tight. Rose listened intently then shook her head, gesturing to something on her phone. She glanced up at Garnet with a worried expression, and Garnet just shook her head slightly in response. Something about the exchange was troubling, and Peridot looked away _again_ to look back over at Sheena and Pearl. Sheena turned at the same time she did and pointed at the glasses under the bar.

“Peridot, can you grab me a shot of vodka?” she asked, holding out her hand. Peridot pulled out one of the shot glasses and reached for the vodka sitting handily in the well. “No, not _that_ vodka – _that_ one,” Sheena corrected, gesturing to the bottles on the back bar. She gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry, you haven’t learned all the dancers’ poisons yet have ya?” Pearl was shaking her head as Sheena spoke, her brow furrowed.

“No, Sheena, the well is fine!” she insisted. “We can’t waste the other vodka on me!”

“It’s not a _waste_ ,” Sheena said as Peridot pulled down a tall, thin bottle that was bright blue. “Yeah, fill it right to the top.” She accepted the shot and handed it to Pearl, who took it in her hand. Pearl did _not_ strike Peridot as a shot-taker – or even as someone who consumed alcohol. Pearl looked pleadingly at Sheena for a moment, who gave an assured nod in return. She glanced down at the glass, lifted it and then shot it back in one smooth movement, slamming the glass back down on the counter. Peridot’s eyes widened in surprise. Pearl had zero reaction to the vodka she just consumed, not even an involuntary shudder.

“There, better?” Sheena asked as Pearl ran her fingers through her hair.

“A bit,” Pearl admitted, before reached across the bar and grabbing Sheena’s lapels in her hands. She pulled herself up and pressed her lips against Sheena’s, her dark lipstick transferring to the other as she kissed her. Peridot’s face immediately heated up, unsure if she should look away or not.

There was a sudden sound much like a goat bleating, and Peridot glanced up at the band platform in surprise. The band had finished their current song and Bismuth was making an obnoxious sound on the trumpet, standing and facing the couple at the bar. Sheena pulled Pearl closer to her with one hand, elongating the kiss, while using her other hand to flip the bird at Bismuth. Bismuth burst into laughter, lowering the instrument to her side and giving Jasper a fist-bump.

“Pearl, honey, you need to come up for air eventually!” Bismuth called down. One of the patrons laughed and Bismuth winked at her.

“That’s the plus side of only having regulars,” a voice said from beside Peridot, and she jumped what felt like three feet into the air as Garnet materialized beside her. “We get to have a little more fun than other places.” Garnet walked past Peridot with a huge smile on her face and approached Sheena, who had finally managed to pull away from Pearl. She had several dark lipstick marks on her lips and cheeks, and gratefully took the napkin Garnet handed to her. Pearl carefully wiped the lipstick from her lips so as not to ruin her other makeup, but had retreated with a huge grin and bright eyes.

“Okay, _now_ I’m better,” Pearl said, and she blew a kiss to Sheena as she walked away. Sheena ‘caught’ it and stuffed her hands in her pockets, cheeks bright red, smiling at Garnet.

“Alright, alright, everyone, the first performance is going to be soon,” Garnet said, checking her watch. “It’s almost eight thirty. Jenny, can you please go let Ruby know we’ll be starting in exactly two minutes?” Jenny, who had been reading something on her phone, rolled her eyes and embarked for the booth above them. Sheena reached under the bar and clicked on a string of lights that snaked underneath the length of the counter.

“It’s gonna get dark,” she said to Peridot. “Oh, and Jenny, make sure the band’s mics are on this time? The outside ones?”

“I got it, _I got it,_ ” Jenny called from the stairs above them. “This isn’t my first day, y’know!”

“Band mics?” Peridot inquired. Garnet pulled a tall glass from under the bar and placed it on the counter, pulling a bottle of vodka out with her other hand and reaching for a can of pineapple juice. Peridot watched in interest as she started making an unidentified drink.

“Look above the band,” Garnet said without looking up. “You should see two small circular devices hanging from the ceiling.” Peridot did as she was told, and did indeed notice two white spheres hanging from cables just above the band. They both had tiny red lights flashing from them. “Those are microphones. They’re attached to the speakers underneath the club sign out front. _That’s_ how we get a few more people in here.” As if on cue, the lights dimmed a bit more on stage, a spotlight shining down on the single mic down in center stage. A hush fell over the club as the spotlight went from a yellow-white to a light pink, colliding with the lush pink curtain that was felled against the stage.

“I guess Rose _is_ doing it tonight then,” Sheena whispered to Garnet, loud enough for Peridot to hear. Garnet was busy garnishing two cocktails, one in a regular glass and once in a martini glass.

“It was my suggestion,” Garnet whispered back, her lips drawn into a thin line. “It’s always a good fallback, even if she doesn’t like doing it.”

“Doing _what?_ ” Peridot whispered, a bit louder than anticipated. Sheena shot her a look and Peridot clapped a hand over her mouth. Garnet chuckled and grinned at Peridot.

“Apologies, Peridot, you don’t know what we’re talking about, do you? A good way to get people in is to have the music playing outside, but the real draw has always been Rose’s lovely voice. She’s going to sing the old opening number.”

“It was officially retired several years ago,” Sheena added, leaning back behind Garnet. “But we pull it out probably once a month these days…”

“Hush,” Garnet interrupted, and nodded towards the stage. Rose Quartz had appeared from behind the curtain to a scattering of applause and a few cheers. It was then Peridot realized that her corset had a pattern of a rose in black sequins, contrasting with the dark pink of her skirt. She seemed even more grandiose than Peridot remembered her from their first meeting, and she commanded the stage in a way Peridot would never dare.

Rose glanced over at the band, waiting until she made eye contact with each member, and then gave a sharp nod, a smile brightening her face. There was a brief _one, two!_ And the band kicked off into a slow, heavy rhythm, Smoky taking the lead with a powerful bass line. Jasper’s alto whined in response, and Rose tossed her head to allow each and every ringlet a moment to glisten in the spotlight encircling her on stage. Peridot felt her chest tighten; no _wonder_ Rose was in charge.

And then, she sang.

“ _Show a little more… Show a little less…_ ” Peridot’s eyes widened as her low, soothing voice traveled through her, uncoiling the knot that had been sitting in her belly since her shift began. Rose reached out and gripped the microphone, tugging it from the stand and holding it closer. “ _Add a little smoke… Welcome to burlesque._ ” She pushed the stand aside and came to the very edge of the stage, her skirt swishing as she walked. It was then Peridot noticed she was once again not wearing any shoes.

“ _Everything you dream of, but never can possess… Nothing’s what it seems… Welcome to burlesque!”_ Rose crossed to the edge of the stage, the spot following her, and trailed down the hidden stairs, her skirt always flouncing like a flower blooming around her.

“ _Ooh, everyone is buying, put your money in my hand. If you got a little extra, well – give it to the band!_ ” She gestured upwards as she crossed under the band platform and the spot traveled to showcase them on the platform. This caused a chorus of cheers from the crowd, and it was the first time Peridot noticed some other people had trickled in. It wasn’t a rushing crowd, but it _was_ filling out some of the remaining empty tables. Sheena moved from leaning against the back bar to leaning on her elbows on the counter, gesturing to the waiters and sending them to some of the newly settled tables.

“Peridot,” Garnet said in a low voice, rising above the din of the settling crowd and the crooning of the band’s short feature. “I need you to take this backstage to Lapis Lazuli.” The elder then shoved the tall glass she’d been filling in front of Peridot, a brightly colored cocktail filling it. It was bright green on the bottom and bright blue on top, garnished with a spiral of an orange peel. Peridot furrowed her brow in confusion.

“What? Bring this to Lapis? Why?”

“It’s her pre-show cocktail,” Garnet explained. “It’s her preferred. The likes the more fun, fruity drinks.” Garnet grabbed a napkin and wrapped it around the shimmering glass, shoving it into Peridot’s hands. “She’s up after Pearl, who is after Rose. Just run it backstage and come straight back here.” Peridot stared down at the drink in her hand, then looked back over towards Rose. Rose was standing before a table of older ladies, wiggling her fingers at them as her song continued.

“ _You may not be guilty, but you’re ready to confess… Tell me what you need – welcome to burlesque!”_

“Hurry!” Sheena growled at her from behind Garnet. A few of the new customers had already approached the bar.

“R-right,” Peridot stammered, ducking out from behind the bar and heading to the service door beneath the band platform. She glanced up towards said band, where she caught Amethyst’s eye. The drum part of this song wasn’t quite as energetic as their other sets, so Amethyst’s eyes had already been wandering about the club. The drummer gave Peridot a wink when she noticed the cocktail in her hands.

“Uh,” Peridot said to herself, and quickly hurried underneath the platform. The band seemed somehow even _louder_ down here, the sound seeping through the walls and echoing all the way down the hall. The hallway was lit with low string lights that really didn’t do much to cut through the oppressive black.

Upon finally reaching the end, Peridot came out to a set of stairs that led her to what she assumed was the green room beside the stage. Another narrow hallway branched from this room, leading to a row of small rooms filled with bright lights. The backstage.

Dancers flitted around her, half-dressed, carrying props and adornments to and fro between the dressing rooms. She saw one of the tall blonde women she had seen the day of her interview running down the hallway with enough feathers in her arms to cover a large bird. Another woman whom Peridot did not remember seeing pushed by her, holding a sheer piece of fabric that may have been a skirt and calling out for another towards the opposite end. Throughout all these interactions, Peridot kept both hands on the glass, pressing the glass against her stomach like a security blanket.

_Where is Lapis?_ Another woman pushed by her, jostling her as she walked.

“Hey! Move out of the way!” the woman called, giving her a deep frown. Peridot swallowed and skirted against the wall, her cheeks burning. _Everyone here is so pretty…_

“ _There_ you are,” a familiar voice said from beside her, and Peridot turned to see Pearl. And most of Pearl’s body.

Pearl had reapplied her lipstick and had shed her dressing gown, revealing her costume. She wore what Peridot could only describe as a white strapless bra with strings of pearls crossing across the cups, coming to a point in the center of the garment. There were also small dangling pearls along the bottoms, sitting nicely against Pearl’s creamy skin. Her entire abdomen was bare until her hips, where she was only wearing a pair of frilly rose-colored bloomers that barely covered her butt. Those same satin-covered teal shoes were the final touch, causing Pearl to essentially tower over Peridot.

_Whoa,_ was all Peridot could think. Pearl had her hands on her hips and had pinched her lips into a thin, annoyed line.

“ _Peridot,_ ” she said, emphasizing the ‘t’. “Didn’t Garnet tell you to hurry up with this drink?”

“Uh,” Peridot said in response. “I mean, yeah, s-she did, I just don’t know where Lapis is. I’ve never been back here.” Pearl made a noise low in her throat and rolled her eyes, but the corner of her lips did perk up.

“Our dressing room is the last one on the right,” Pearl explained as she caught sight of the blonde woman from before. “Just hand it off to her and go right back to the bar.”

“Sure,” Peridot said, although she was overcome with the desire to say _yes, ma’am_ from Pearl’s tone. How she could command over Peridot like that while wearing next to nothing was a skill Peridot wondered if she could learn. Peridot glanced down the hallway to the room and turned back to say thanks, but Pearl had already dashed off down the hall. The blonde woman was waving towards her, wrapped in her own light pink dressing gown and wearing rainbow-colored stilettos.

“O-okay, then,” Peridot said to herself. She walked up to the room to find the door wide open, and walked inside.

The room wasn’t as big as she expected a dressing room to be. It had two vanities on either wall, each with a mirror with the stereotypical border of bright lightbulbs that Peridot had come to expect from movies. There was a rack by the door covered in outfits, most of them small skirts and shorts and different types of bras. One of the vanities was completely lit up and one was dark; Lapis was sitting at the darkened one. Her back was turned to Peridot, head bowed into her lap.

“Uh, hello?” Peridot called out, not wanting to startle the dancer. Lapis lifted her head and turned all in one fluid motion, eyes wide.

“Oh!” she said, a small smile crossing her face. “My drink. Thank you.” Lapis approached Peridot and reached out for the glass. “I got here late so I didn’t have the time I normally do to go get it myself. I appreciate it. Your name is Peridot, right?”

“Yes,” Peridot answered, trying to concentrate only on Lapis’s face. It was proving to be difficult, because if Peridot was enchanted by her rehearsal outfit, then her performance outfit had her completely hooked. A royal blue corset with a gold filigree overlay covered her torso, and it fit her like a glove. The gold glinted even in the harsh lights of the dressing room, and the careful powdering around her collar bone and her breasts popped due to the sharp shadows thrown over them. She was wearing the black choker with the bow, the tendrils trailing down the length of her back. Under the corset was a pair of royal blue bloomers similar to Pearl’s, except significantly less frilly than before. She was wearing sheer tights with a gold line drawn up the back of her leg, and heels that blossomed into a petal pattern as they met her ankles. The entire outfit complimented her dark complexion and heart-shaped face perfectly. Peridot _also_ noticed that her bright blue hair remained mostly un-styled, taking on a somewhat wild appearance.

_Holy smokes,_ was all Peridot could think. _She is so--_

“Peridot?” Lapis asked warily. It was then Peridot realized she had been gaping at Lapis with her mouth open, and she quickly clamped it shut.

_Radiant. Exquisite. Stunning._

“Uh,” Peridot stammered. “You look… great!” Lapis blinked and tugged the drink out of Peridot’s hands.

“Thanks,” she said, taking a long sip of the cocktail. “Ooo, Garnet made this, didn’t she? You can always tell with her.” Peridot nodded, biting her lower lip.

_Say something else!_

“I meant—you look _beautiful,_ ” Peridot said, eyes wide. Lapis turned to her, still sucking on the straw, eyebrows quirked.

“O-oh, thank you,” she said, her smile widening by a fraction. “And thank you again for bringing this to me. That wasn’t necessary, but it was appreciated.” Peridot’s hands were wringing at her stomach, a goofy smile blooming across her cheeks.

“Of course! It’s, uh, my first shift and I actually haven’t been backstage before,” Peridot explained. Her voice was still higher than she preferred but she found speaking to Lapis to be much easier than anticipated. She was still completely taken with the dancer’s look, but she didn’t feel quite as… intimidated as she had when she first laid eyes on her.

“You should probably get back out there,” Lapis said, eyes darting to the door. “It sounds like Pearl is on, which means I’m on deck.” She reached a long-fingered hand up through her messy hair, tousling it once more. Peridot suddenly became very aware of her own head of messy blonde hair, and how _effortless_ Lapis made the bedhead look seem.

“Right,” Peridot said, but she was still rooted into the same spot. Ten thousand questions were rattling her brain, and she seemed unable to send the signal to her legs to move. _Why is Lapis’s mirror off? Is she close to Pearl? What other dancing does she do? Is she—_

“Oh, come _on,_ ” Lapis muttered, suddenly shoving the mostly-empty glass back into Peridot’s hands and snapping her out of her thoughts. Peridot glanced up and saw that the choker had fallen off and was lying uselessly in her hands. Lapis scoffed and walked back to her mirror, sitting down and starting the process again. “This stupid _thing._ ”

“Do you need any help?” Peridot squeaked. Lapis glanced over to her, struggling between her hair and the ribbon.

“Actually – yeah, that _would_ be helpful,” Lapis responded, and Peridot crossed the room and placed the glass down on Lapis’s vanity. Lapis handed Peridot the ribbon and sat up straight, facing towards the mirror. Peridot shuffled behind her and Lapis lifted her hair back and up, so her neck was bare. Peridot noted a few sparse freckles, nearly black against Lapis’s already dark skin. Her shoulder blades jutted from her back, curving downwards into where her corset began up her back.

It was then that Peridot noticed the full tattoo across Lapis’s shoulder blades. She remembered seeing something peeking over the tip of her shoulder the first day she saw her, but hadn’t thought about it since. It was an intricate design, one that must have taken _hours_ to complete. Drawn in brilliant white ink was a single teardrop along Lapis’s spine, with two ornate wings coming out of it, spreading themselves across her shoulder blades and ending right at the tops of her shoulders. Peridot faltered, ribbon in hand, simply _staring_. The contrast between the white ink and her dark skin made it pop, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to trace her fingers along Lapis’s shoulder curve…

_Focus,_ Peridot said to herself, her face heating up considerably.

“Peridot? You okay?” Lapis asked, turning slightly. “You just tie a bow.”

“Yeah, I g-got it,” Peridot said, and lowered the black ribbon against Lapis’s throat. Lapis lifted her chin, still holding her hair, and stared straight ahead into the mirror. Peridot carefully pulled the two ends together at the nape of her neck, slowly tying a small bow. She wasn’t one for bows and ribbons and suddenly found she had a new appreciation for them. “I was, uh, admiring your back.” Lapis chuckled and she could feel the skin of her neck move beneath her fingers.

“What do you think?” she asked, shifting her fingers in her hair.

“It’s cool,” Peridot said, eyes trailing down again. “Does it… mean anything?”

“Some things,” was all Lapis offered. “Ornate tattoos are kind of a Polynesian thing. The white was my own addition.” Peridot nodded, although Lapis couldn’t see her. She tugged on the ears of the bow to adjust it.

“Is that too tight?” Peridot asked, glancing upwards and catching her own flushed face in the mirror. Lapis was looking at her reflection as well, that same small smile gracing her face.

“No, this is great. Can you double-knot it? I think this is what my issue was the first time.” Peridot nodded, breaking away from the reflection.

“There,” Peridot declared, stepping back. Lapis let her hair fall and stood, twirling and facing Peridot with a grin.

“Now it maybe won’t fall off for once,” Lapis said, stepping forwards to leave. “Thanks ag— _oof!_ ” Lapis collided gently into Peridot as Peridot had attempted to move out of her way. Peridot’s nose had crashed into Lapis’s chin and the two parted, Peridot standing in the center of the room looking even more embarrassed than before, one hand clamped on her nose.

“OhmyGOSHIamSOSORRY!” Peridot rushed out, legs locked into place. “I didn’t mess up your makeup, did I?”

“No, I’m fine,” Lapis said, rubbing her cheek. “Is your nose okay? My chin is pretty bony.” Peridot nodded, although she secretly wondered if it was enough to bruise. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Peridot said, voice muffled. “I’m… pretty sure?” Lapis grabbed the empty glass from the vanity, still half full of ice, and grabbed a piece of fabric along with it. She poured a few of the ice cubes into the fabric and wrapped them up into a makeshift icepack, handing it to Peridot.

“Here,” she said, “at least put this on it.” Peridot took the glass in one hand and the ice pack in the other, pressing it to her face. _Garnet is not going to like this._

“I’ve gotta go,” Lapis said, gesturing with her head. Out on stage, a sultry, slow song with heavy bass and a tinny trombone seemed to be ending. “That’s Pearl’s number, I dance in with her as she dances out. But thanks again. And, um—“ Lapis looked over at her dark mirror, then back to Peridot. “Let me know? About your nose? I think I got you pretty good.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Peridot said in what she hoped was a joking voice, even though the pain was making her eyes water. Lapis snorted and smiled, and Peridot felt her legs go weak.

“Okay, well, I’ll still feel better if I check on you after the show,” Lapis said, heels clicking against the floor. “And if we drew in the crowd I hope we did, they probably need you at the bar.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Peridot said, shifting the makeshift icepack along her nose. The fabric was soft and worn and smelled like coconuts. “I’ll do that.” Lapis nodded and left the room in a flurry, leaving Peridot remaining in the center, empty glass still in hand.

\--

The rest of the night whirled by in a blur. When Peridot finally got her wits about her, she ran as fast as she could back to the bar, pretending the stinging in her nose was just a minor inconvenience. Sheena had passed her an “energy shot” and that had helped to dull the pain as the night wore on. Peridot spent most of the evening on the back bar, grabbing large bottles and hauling them around for Garnet and Sheena. A healthy crowd had gathered in the club after Rose’s performance, although it thinned considerably by midnight. Peridot had unfortunately missed Lapis’s solo performance, but she was able to catch her group performance with the others. Much to her chagrin, the group performance was to a recording, a famous song she had heard once or twice and was shocked to recognize, but still didn’t know.

During this performance, as much as Peridot wanted to just stare at Lapis off to the side, she was occupied by the entire band storming the bar for drinks.

“How’s it goin’, P-dot?” Amethyst chirped as she reached behind the bar for a glass before Garnet slapped her hand.

“This will be a good chance for Peridot to practice,” Garnet said, eyes twinkling. Amethyst frowned and retracted her hand as Smoky appeared beside her, chin to hand, deep in thought. Peridot noticed that Amethyst and Smoky were wearing matching necklaces; thick leather cords holding raw, uncut versions of their nicknames.

“Must be easy to accessorize in here, huh?” Peridot said, pulling out a glass from beneath the bar. Amethyst raised her eyebrows, then glanced downwards and laughed.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get swept up in it soon enough,” Amethyst insisted. “Smoky didn’t wear _any_ jewelry before working here, and now they’ve got, what, like fifteen quartz necklaces?” Smoky rolled their eyes.

“I’ve also got an eyebrow ring, Amethyst,” they said, but were smiling while doing so. “Peridot, what’s the cider on draft tonight?”

“Uh…” Peridot glanced at the taps. “Looks like… Grumpy Forest?”

“ _Perfect,_ ” Smoky said, rubbing their hands together. “I’ll take a pint.”

“A _pint_ of _cider,_ ” Amethyst said, twirling one finger in her ponytail. “What, are _you_ from England now, too?”

“I heard that,” Garnet said from behind a customer, a grin on her face. Peridot _had_ noticed the accent but, in the spirit of ‘no backstories’, hadn’t inquired. Smoky chuckled as Peridot started pouring, concentrating on cutting it off at just the right time. She glanced up and caught Lapis leaning over the edge of the stage, eyes glittering, waving to those sitting at the tables just below her. It was her mini-solo and she was milking the crowd for all their worth. The gold on her corset was luminescent and popped under the bright stage lights, making her glow. She stood straight, hands trailing up the length of her torso and stopping at her collarbone, shaking her glorious blue hair before twirling back into place.

“Hey, Peridot?” Amethyst called from her side. “You gonna hand that off or are you drinkin’ it yourself?”

“What?” Peridot stammered, turning so fast she felt whiplash. She looked down at the glass in her hand and then back up to the band members, all of whom were now looking at her. Bismuth and Jasper were arguing about beers and Sardonyx was having a lively conversation with Greg about something at the other end, but now she had _all_ of their attention. Smoky glanced back up at the stage, noticed Lapis, then turned back, their grin widening.

“Looks like you already have a favorite,” Smoky said, chuckling as Peridot handed the glass over.

“Come on now, guys, don’t make her feel uncomfortable,” Greg insisted, smiling warmly at Peridot. Sardonyx chuckled.

“Lapis Lazuli is indis _putably_ beautiful,” she said matter-of-factly. “Can you be a dear and get me a gin and tonic?” Peridot nodded silently, grateful for the distraction. _Had she been that obvious?_ She turned to the well at her right and noticed Bismuth glancing at Jasper in her peripheral. Amethyst was _also_ looking at Jasper, and Smoky seemed to be trying hard _not_ to. Jasper was just staring down at her beer, saying something low to Bismuth that Peridot couldn’t hear. The hair on her neck and arms prickled as an odd silence settled over the band.

_Oh, shit, Peridot, what did you do?_

“Uh, ice and lime okay?” Peridot called over to Sardonyx, hoping to cut the tension. Sardonyx nodded enthusiastically. At that moment, Bismuth and Jasper stood and left the bar, heading back to the band platform, still speaking in low voices. Smoky and Amethyst watched them leave and exchanged a strange glance. Peridot watched but said nothing.

“It’s been like, more than a year,” Peridot heard Amethyst mumble. Smoky sighed and swirled their cider.

“You know how Jasper is,” was the response. Peridot had almost worked up the courage to ask what was going on before Amethyst banged on the counter with gusto.

“Barkeep! Let’s get some tequila shots! And none of that well crap either!” Amethyst cried, and Peridot heard Sheena scoff from behind her.

“You’re not allowed top shelf tequila anymore after that _incident,_ Amethyst,” Sheena chastised, hands on her hips. Amethyst scoffed and Smoky chuckled.

“Fine, I’ll accept _lesser tequila,_ I _guess,_ ” she said, and Peridot carried the gin and tonic over to Sardonyx.

“Thank you, dear,” Sardonyx said, taking a long swig. Her face immediately screwed up in surprise, and she blinked a few times before replacing the glass onto the counter.

“Well… _that_ woke me up,” she admitted, smacking her lips. “It barely feels like midnight!”

“It’s twelve thirty, actually, and we’re up soon,” Greg said, checking his watch. Peridot returned to the group with four tequila shots of varying levels, Amethyst reaching for the fullest one.

“Cheers to P-dot’s first shift!” Amethyst said, raising her shooter and clinking it with the rest of the band. Peridot watched as each of them down the shots in turn and screwed up their faces in reaction.

“Never gets easier,” Smoky admitted, grabbing a napkin. “Greg, you don’t want yours?” It was then Peridot noticed that Greg had cheered but not taken any.

“Nah, I was never a tequila guy in my prime. Here, Peridot,” Greg said, handing it over. “It’ll probably help get you through the rest of this night.”

“Uh, sure,” Peridot said, taking the glass and hastily downing it. It burned from the moment it touched her lips to the moment it hit her gullet and she stuck her tongue out in distaste, slamming the glass down onto the counter. Amethyst let out a laugh as she headed back to the band platform, beer in hand.

“That’s our girl!” she cried. Peridot was still scowling at the liquor as Garnet bustled by her, reaching into the well for ice.

“Not bad, could have been faster, but good rapport,” she said in Peridot’s ear. Peridot frowned.

“They weren’t even customers,” she said, feeling slightly jilted. She knew she wasn’t _good_ but she could at least help a _few_ more customers. Garnet smiled.

“It’s just as important to get to know the employees as the customers,” Garnet replied soothingly. “Getting on the band’s good side is definitely a step in the right direction. Look, Sardonyx is even still drinking the drink you made her.” She gestured up at the band platform where Sardonyx was taking another tentative sip before placing the glass on her piano.

“I guess,” Peridot said, rubbing her nose unconsciously. The tequila had made the ache all but vanish.

Unfortunately, alcohol did nothing to actually _treat_ the problem, and by two thirty a.m., Peridot’s nose had a considerable bump right in the middle of it. The ice from Lapis’s makeshift icepack had long ago melted, and as Garnet closed out the register, she handed Peridot a real one from the back.

“Whatever happened, make sure you take pain killers tomorrow,” Garnet instructed. Peridot nodded lazily, trying to stifle a yawn. “And make sure to keep ice on it. I don’t want to see you out of commission because of this.”

“What, did you get into a fight backstage? Was it Alexandrite?” Sheena asked as she appeared from the back, carrying an empty tray to fill with dirty glasses. The last of the guests were finally shuffling out the door to patronize the other clubs that were open later.

“No,” Peridot sighed. “I bumped into someone.”

“She bumped into me,” a voice said from behind the counter, and Peridot turned to see Lapis standing there. She had a dark blue dressing gown on, her makeup already washed from her face. She had a small bag under her arm and a bottle in her hand. “I came by to give you these. I thought you might need them.” The placed the bottle on the counter; a prescription bottle. The label had been ripped clean off, except for the name of a generic form of ibuprofen. “It’s extra strength.”

“Uh, thanks,” Peridot said, taking the bottle. She _knew_ taking prescriptions from others wasn’t a great idea, but if it was just extra strength ibuprofen…

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” Lapis said. “It’s from a sprain I had like two years ago.”

“Did she bump into your fist?” Sheena asked, looking from the dancer to the bartender and back again. Lapis shook her head, running a hand through her hair.

“She was being nice to me and I clumsied into her,” Lapis explained. “I thought this was the _least_ I could do. Actually—“ Lapis reached out for a napkin and pulled a pen from her pouch, hastily writing a number down. She slid it to Peridot. “Text me if you need anything else. I live with Pearl and she has an entire pharmacy stored in our apartment I’m pretty sure.” Peridot picked up the napkin, the numbers blurring together as her brain went into overdrive.

_Lapis gave you her number. Lapis wants you to text her. You now have direct communication with Lapis. You could even, maybe, possibly, have a human conversation?_

“Y-yeah, I will,” Peridot stammered, and Lapis smiled.

“Good. I’m gonna go finish cleaning up.” Lapis gave a small wave and hurried through the door to the back, barefoot. _What is with these people and not wearing shoes?_ Peridot wondered. Sheena looked down at the napkin, clapping a hand onto Peridot’s shoulder.

“Look at that! First shift and she already got a number,” Sheena said, grinning at Peridot. Garnet scoffed.

“Not sure if it counts if it’s a staff member,” Garnet said, but she was smiling. “She likes you, Peridot.”

“She does?” Peridot said, voice high again.

“Yeah, Lapis doesn’t normally talk to anyone, really, except Pearl and Rose. And Steven,” Sheena added as an afterthought. “But I guess he doesn’t count.”

“I’ve never seen her willingly hand her number to someone, that’s for sure,” Garnet added. “Even to someone else on staff. Good job, Peridot.” Peridot looked down at the number again, one hand still pressed to her face. Something warm uncoiled in her belly and traveled through her limbs, waking her up again. _Lapis liked her. She liked her!_

“Wow,” she breathed. “Thanks.”

Maybe this bartending thing would work out, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured in this chapter:  
> "Welcome to Burlesque" - Rose's opening act. performed by Cher for the movie 'Burlesque' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L506pK0h61E)  
> "Some of These Days" - Pearl's performance song. By The Hot Sardines (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--QeL_uRYz8)  
> "Sway" - Group performance song. By Bobby Rydell (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fcESXNGWjQ)
> 
> One of my favorite ciders is Angry Orchard, and 'Grumpy Forest' came to me so fast I knew I had to include it. This chapter was longer than expected but I'm glad to get the plot moving. Also, most of these songs will make an appearance later on, which is why I'm taking the time to include them. I'm debating on making a soundtrack to this fic, since I keep putting so much emphasis on music. Oh, for those who don't know; the Gay Village is a part of Montreal that I visited recently and loved. I may have borrowed it and added it to the amalgamation of traits that is Empire City.
> 
> Thank you for all the feedback! I'm so excited about this fic :)


	4. The Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot internet stalks Lapis, re-confirms her lack of strength, and meets the child of the bar.
> 
> *Warnings for the beginning of a panic attack*

_Please be at the club by 3 PM sharp._ This was the message Peridot woke up to two days after her first shift was complete at the Crystal Temple club.

Peridot narrowed her eyes at the glare from her phone screen, dropping the device unceremoniously into her duvet and rolling over to face the wall, pulling the blanket up to her nose. She groaned and closed her eyes again.

“You awake, Peridot?” a muffled voice called through her bedroom door. A short scuffling sound followed with a gentle _oof_ and a mutter.

“It’s like, twelve p.m.,” came a second voice, and Peridot scoffed as she recognized it. “I thought she was awake in there this whole time!”

“Don’t be _rude,_ Lars,” came the reply, and Peridot sighed thankfully that Sadie was her actual roommate. “You okay in there?”

“Yep,” Peridot called back. “Peachy.” Peridot’s phone pinged again, the sound somehow echoing around the tiny cluttered space.

“Was that her?” Sadie called through the door as Lars shuffled away. “I can hear your phone pinging.”

“ _No,_ I still haven’t texted her,” Peridot called back, fumbling in her duvet for her phone. It was Garnet again, asking for confirmation. _I’ll be there,_ Peridot quickly typed back. She then flopped onto her face once more, lying spread-eagle over her bed.

“Can I open the door?” Sadie asked, and Peridot grunted in reply. Sadie entered, smiling down at the prone form of her roommate over the bed. She walked to the window and pulled up the blinds, allowing the noon sunlight to pour into the dark room. “Late night?”

“I guess you could say that,” Peridot replied through a mouthful of fabric. She finally lifted her head, squinting at Sadie to see her without her glasses. Sadie chuckled and sat down in Peridot’s desk chair, handing the thick glasses over to her roommate.

“What were you reading about _this_ time?” Sadie asked, eyes trailing up to the large framed poster above Peridot’s bed. Peridot followed her gaze, the huge words _I WANT TO BELIEVE_ screaming back at her.

“Uh,” Peridot responded, her neck heating up. “Same thing as a few weeks ago—the uh, abandoned bunkers in large forests.”

“Ah,” Sadie said, ruffling her short blonde locks. “Fair enough. Get trapped in a Wiki wormhole until three am?”

“Yeah,” Peridot said, her face and neck still burning. Truthfully, she had been trolling TubeTube looking for videos of Lapis and other dancers at the Crystal Temple Club. She finally found one, a much older video from a studio, of a performance Pearl and Lapis had choreographed together with Rose. It was to the same song Pearl had danced to on Saturday night – did that mean Lapis knew a routine to it, too? In the video, Lapis’s hair was much longer, down past her shoulders, and jet black instead of bright blue. Pearl’s was longer as well, down at her collarbone, and only streaked with the light pink she bore now - it was a dark brown and ironed straight. The account the video was connected to appeared to be inactive, or possibly a placeholder; it had no other videos and no identifying information. But it was the description that intrigued Peridot the most.

_M and N to the Hot Sardines,_ was all it said. _Video shot by RQ._ ‘RQ’ clearly stood for Rose Quartz, but M and N?

_Garnet did say it started as a fun gimmick,_ Peridot had thought. _Maybe M and N are their old aliases?_ Peridot wasn’t entirely sure if this video pre-dated the club or not; she hadn’t done much research on the venue before working there. As a matter of fact, there didn’t seem to _be_ much information for her to find. _Was Lapis an original dancer here? Were all of them?_

These questions and Peridot’s desire to see Lapis dance meant she ended up watching the video enough times for her to have memorized a good portion of the words _and_ the routine. She had then spent the next hour trying to search “burlesque” with “M and N” to very little success.

“You working tonight?” Sadie asked as she got to her feet, tearing Peridot from her thoughts.

“I think so,” Peridot mumbled, finally sitting up and putting her glasses on. “Garnet – my boss – texted me asking me to come in at three. But the club isn’t open tonight so I don’t know why.”

“Well, maybe there’s a staff meeting,” Sadie offered with a grin. “And maybe Lapis will be there!”

“ _Ugh,_ ” was all Peridot said in reply. “You’re not going to stop bugging me about her until I text her, are you?” Sadie grinned and shook her head.

“Peridot, you were _glowing_ when you got home,” Sadie explained. “Besides, I’ve never heard you talk about a crush before! It’s fun.”

“It’s not a – I barely know her,” Peridot stammered. “I just—she’s just very pretty.”

“Seems like a crush to me,” Sadie offered, pursing her lips. “I mean, I _know_ it was three a.m. and you were kinda tipsy, but when I asked how your night was all you could tell me was about _Lapis._ That screams ‘I am crushing on my coworker’.”

“…is that what a crush is?” Peridot said in a small voice. “I’m not sure I ever really… had one before.” Sadie’s face softened and she sat back down in Peridot’s desk chair.

“Like I said, sounds like one to me,” she said. Peridot ran her hands through her messy hair, doing nothing in terms of taming it. “But the way you described her… well, it sounded like you got it _really_ bad. And I just want you to be happy.” Peridot flushed even darker.

“T-thanks,” she stammered. “I appreciate it.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” Sadie said. “Me or Lars. Lars might even be _more_ helpful than me, for once.”

“Doubt it,” Peridot mumbled. “But I’ll keep it in mind. You’re a good friend, Sadie.”

“I try,” Sadie said, and she finally stood and left. Peridot rolled over and flopped dramatically onto her back, staring at the ceiling, her entire body suddenly very hot. She laid like this for a while, lost in her own thoughts, when her phone pinged again. Peridot snatched it and held it above her head, still facing the ceiling. It was a number she didn’t know.

_Hey P-dot! just wanted u 2 have my num,_ it read. _Stole it from G._

_Who is this?_ Peridot typed in response, although she had her suspicions.

_Amethyst, duh,_ came the reply. _We’re having a mini jam sesh right now and G left her phone out._ Peridot couldn’t help but smile at the message. She wondered if Amethyst had singled her out for aggressive friendship, or this was just how Amethyst _was._ Either way, she didn’t mind it.

_Are you going to be there later?_ Peridot texted back. This response took a little longer than usual.

_U mean 4 the delivery?_ Amethyst texted back. Peridot blinked and said

_The delivery?_

_Booze,_ was the immediate response. _Booze delivery. nah, i have a thing 2nite._ Peridot frowned. Her first real friend in ages and she wouldn’t even be there?

_Oh, okay. I’ll see you on Wednesday then?_

_Duh!_ Peridot laughed to herself and added Amethyst as a contact to her phone. At least she was nice. Peridot used one finger to scroll through her contacts, landing on Lapis. She still hadn’t texted her, even after being given permission to do so. The bump on her nose had gone down considerably, and there was only a tiny bit of bruising, so there was no need to, right?

_But Garnet said she rarely spoke to anyone,_ a voice in the back of her mind said. _Garnet said she_ likes _you._ Sighing, Peridot finally crawled out of her bed, placing both feet on the floor and stretching her arms to the ceiling to wake herself up.

“Come on, Castillo,” Peridot said to herself. “It’s… just a crush. Yeah.”

It wasn’t for another twenty minutes that Peridot realized she was secretly hoping Lapis would be at the club that night.

\--

_Apparently, there is a God, and He listens to me in the shower._ This was the thought that struck Peridot as she entered the dimly lit club later that afternoon. Aside from Garnet, who had let her in the locked front door, the only other person Peridot saw was Lapis. She was sitting at one of the round tables, the light on, books scattered across the table’s surface. She was scrolling through her phone and looked up at their footsteps. Upon seeing Peridot, she gave a tiny wave. Peridot just stared at her back, eyes wide.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” Lapis said as Peridot and Garnet approached the table. Garnet shook her head and gestured to the bar.

“Between me, Sheena, Jasper and this one,” Garnet said, placing a hand on Peridot’s shoulder, “we should be good to go. C’mon, Peridot.”

“Hi,” Peridot said weakly as Garnet lead her away. Lapis gave a small smile and went back to her phone, head in hand.

“She’s helping Steven with homework,” Garnet answered before Peridot could ask. “He’s taking an introductory biology course and he’s struggling.”

“Steven?” Peridot asked, the name ringing a bell. She’d heard it thrown around a few times already, but no one ever elaborated. Before Garnet could answer, the door to the bar storage burst open, and Jasper appeared in the doorway, followed by someone Peridot never expected to see in a club.

“I _told_ you the kegs were heavy,” Jasper was saying as she held the door open for the other. A young boy, no older than an early teen, followed her out, swinging the door shut. He was wiping his hands on his jeans and grinning up at Jasper.

“It was _fine,_ ” he insisted, cheeks rosy. He was a good foot shorter than Jasper but his presence made him seem much bigger. As a matter of fact, he was barely bigger than Peridot herself. He was of stocky build, with thick arms and legs and a head of wild dark curls. He couldn’t have been older than fifteen but wasn’t any younger than ten, and he was wearing, of all things, flip flops. While carrying _kegs,_ apparently.

“Garnet, I think you oughta consider Steven for stockboy,” Jasper said jokingly, patting his head.

“Steven shouldn’t _be_ in the storage room,” Garnet said, but she was smiling all the same. Steven beamed up at her. “Let me guess, Lapis said you could take a break?”

“Jasper looked like she needed help, so I carried a few kegs,” the boy said. Jasper rolled her eyes.

“You carried _one_ box of vodka.”

“It was _like_ a keg, right?” Peridot remained silent during the interaction, still puzzled over why a minor was even _in_ the club in the first place. The boy seemed to notice her confusion, as he brightened considerably and put out his hand. “Hi! I’m Steven!”

“Peridot,” Peridot said, taking his hand. She was shocked at just how _powerful_ his grip was as he shook her hand enthusiastically. “Aren’t you a little… _young_ to be in a bar?”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Steven insisted. “My mom owns it.”

“Steven is Rose and Greg’s son,” Garnet explained. “He’s an integral part of the club.”

“I’m the social media manager,” Steven proclaimed proudly. “I set up our BookFace and Cheeper accounts!”

“Good to know,” Peridot said, smiling despite herself. Jasper just sighed and Garnet gave a small giggle. “You should probably get back to your homework though, right?” Steven looked up at Jasper, who was pulling her hair into a high ponytail.

“Now that Peridot’s here, I don’t need _two_ tiny stockers,” Jasper said, grinning. Steven pouted but accepted, hopping over the bar like an expert and heading back to the table to join Lapis. The three of them watched as he hopped into his seat, leaning forward over his book eagerly, Lapis leaning over as well until their foreheads nearly bumped.

“Wow,” Peridot said after a moment. “Cute kid.”

“Everyone here adores Steven,” Garnet explained as Jasper rolled up her sleeves. “Jasper might be the biggest softy for him.”

“Hey!” Jasper said, pointing at Garnet. “I’ve got an image to uphold.” Garnet rolled her eyes and put one hand on her hip, using the other to bat Jasper’s away.

“Please, you’re a big teddy bear at _best,_ ” Garnet said, and Jasper just scoffed. Peridot’s eyes darted between the two of them, feeling even tinier than before. “You’re here to help on your own, aren’t you?”

“Alright, alright, let’s break up the love fest,” Sheena said as she emerged from the back. “We’ve all heard it before; Jasper looks intimidating, actually a puppy, everyone loves Steven, et cetera. Can we puh- _lease_ get a move on? I got places to be. Jasper, can you haul that keg over?” Sheena pointed to one of the many kegs sitting behind the counter while simultaneously dragging a box over to the door to prop it open. “We’ve got four more of those, plus all these damn boxes to unpack. It’s been a long time since we’ve had _this_ much delivered at once, so let’s get going.”

They spent the next hour and a half slowly working their way through unboxing, organizing, and then restocking the front bar with all the alcohol from the delivery. Garnet insisted on Peridot trying to figure out where things belonged without any help, to test and see if their organization method for the storage was self-explanatory. It didn’t help that Peridot wasn’t very familiar with the more nuanced differences between drink types, beer especially.

Every time Peridot was sent back out to grab another crate of tequila or box of beer bottles, she chanced a glance over to the far table. Lapis was eagerly engaged with Steven, either going over something in his book or using her phone to look something up and the two of them laughing over it. Garnet wasn’t wrong when she said everyone adored Steven; Lapis looked at him with such a fond expression that one would mistake _her_ for his mother and not Rose. Nearly every time Peridot looked, Lapis would look back, and offer a tiny smile in her direction. Steven normally stole her attention back right away, but the small glances made Peridot’s heart thump in her throat.

“Hey, Peridot!” Jasper called suddenly from the doorway. “Catch!” Peridot leaped back in surprise as Jasper pretended to toss a crate her way. She laughed instead, the crate still in her arms, and Peridot shot her a glare. “You _really_ thought I was going to throw this at you? Wow.”

“Be nice, Jasper,” Sheena said as she pushed by the musician. “ _I_ wouldn’t put it past you to throw a crate at me.”

“I know _you_ can catch it, though,” Jasper countered, moving the crate to one arm. Peridot stared in disbelief, considering she could barely drag one crate into the back on her own. _That thing probably weighs at least fifty pounds._

“Don’t flatter me,” Sheena said, hauling the last crate to the top of the bar. “Peridot, can you carry this one?”

“Sure,” Peridot said, thankful it was already off the floor. _Maybe I can_ actually _carry this one all the way._ She dug her fingertips under the crate and slid it back into her elbows, knees buckling under the weight.

“You sure you got that?” Jasper asked as she re-entered the bar from the back, having put away her crate.

“Y-yep,” Peridot stammered, arcing her back as she walked. “I got it.” She shuffled awkwardly into the back room, ignoring the protests of her skinny legs and shaking knees, and dropped it (perhaps a bit _too_ hard) onto the floor. She sat down on top of it, taking in a long, deep breath, hands balled into fists.

“Good work, Peridot,” Garnet said from the doorway, trusty clipboard in her hands. “You’ll build up your strength, don’t worry. Take a breather.”

“Oh, good,” Peridot panted, stretching out her legs. She shakily got to her feet and wandered out into the bar, collapsing into a barstool and leaning on the counter.

“Good, you’ve already got the ‘be dramatic as possible’ thing down,” Jasper said, leaning against the counter beside her and grinning. “That seems to be the thing around here.”

“You’re one to talk,” Garnet called from the back bar. “Jasper, could you check all the equipment up on the band platform? I think Amethyst may have left the amps on.” Jasper sighed and stood, giving Peridot a pat between her shoulder blades as she passed.

“Of _course_ she left them on,” Jasper muttered as she went, although she was still smiling. Peridot watched her go, bright bushy ponytail catching in the few stray lights that parsed through the afternoon darkness. Her sight of Jasper was suddenly cut off when Lapis hopped into the bar stool beside her, a look of concern on her face.

“Hey,” she said softly, “you okay? You don’t look… great.” Peridot, who was slumped over the bar counter, jumped up in surprise.

“Oh! Yeah, I-I’m okay,” she said, shoving her glasses back up her face from where she had let them slide down her nose. “Just tired, I guess. Those things were really heavy.”

“Yeah, bar stuff is rough,” Lapis said, leaning one arm onto the counter. Her hair was pulled back into her clip again today, and at her temples, Peridot could see her black roots showing through. “I was a bartender for a short amount of time and I could never hack it. I overheard Garnet say you were learning quickly though, so that’s good.” Peridot said nothing, instead glancing over at Steven who was hunched over a book in silence. “He’s doing a practice set,” Lapis explained. _Say something,_ Peridot’s brain screamed. “How’s your nose?”

“My nose?” Peridot asked, and then suddenly remembered the incident from Saturday. “Oh! Yes. My nose. It’s, uh, got a little bruising but otherwise okay. Thanks for, uh, helping,” Peridot responded. Lapis smiled, shifting to cross one long leg over the other. She was wearing short denim cutoffs with a white and blue t-shirt, and of course, no shoes.

“No problem,” Lapis said simply. “Thanks for helping _me_.”

“Any time,” Peridot said, cheeks burning. She looked over at Steven again, who was puzzling through a problem. “Are you his tutor?”

“Me? No way,” Lapis said, looking over her shoulder at him as well. “Bio was kind of my thing when I was in school, so I thought I’d lend a hand. He’s really smart,” she said as she turned back to Peridot, eyes twinkling. “He grasps concepts pretty quickly.”

“How old is he?” Peridot asked, trying to maintain eye contact without blushing furiously. The corner of Lapis’s lips quirked up.

“He’s thirteen, turning fourteen this year,” Lapis explained. “I’ve known him since he was eight. He’s just…” she looked over at him again, eyes softening. “I don’t really know what I’d do without him.”

_That_ was not what Peridot expected to hear. She pressed her lips into a line and looked over at Steven again as well. This little kid really seemed to have some sort of spell on everyone. Peridot wasn’t one for children; she was an only child and found other kids to be an annoyance at best throughout her childhood. The few friends she’d gained in college had vanished after she dropped out, the exception being Sadie, who was in a similar spot. Seeing all this deep _caring_ in the Crystal Temple made her heart ache. Just a bit.

“Alright, I’m off,” Sheena announced as she bustled out of the tiny employee room. “I’ll be sure to fill in all those who are really invested in the drama at Queenie’s on Wednesday.”

“You’d better!” Jasper called from where she was sitting up on the band platform. She had the bottom portion of her alto in her hands and appeared to be running through some notes in a music book. Peridot and Lapis waved her off as Sheena left them behind.

“Queenie’s is the drag bar across the street,” Lapis explained. “There’s been some drama between two of the drag queens and it’s kind of a big deal around the Village right now. That’s Sheena’s other bartending gig, by the way,” Lapis added.

“Does she work every night of the week?” Peridot asked in surprise. Lapis considered the question thoughtfully.

“Y’know, she might,” she said, a hand on her chin. She tapped her other hand along the counter, fingers drumming. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s a robot, with how she runs around back here,” Peridot said, and Lapis giggled. Peridot looked up at her, frowning. “What?”

“I didn’t realize you were funny,” Lapis said, smirking. Peridot knit her eyebrows together.

“That’s wasn’t a joke!”

“I know, that’s what makes it funny,” Lapis insisted, putting her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, you just sounded so… genuine.” Peridot pursed her lips but smiled, the pain from carrying the boxes ebbing from her joints. It was just then that she realized she was no longer blushing – at least not as badly as she had been. She actually felt… _comfortable,_ talking to Lapis.

“Alright, ladies, what’ll it be?” A voice said from the other side of the counter, and both Peridot and Lapis turned to see Steven grinning at them, leaning over the counter.

“Excuse you, I thought you were doing the practice set?” Lapis said, turning fully towards the bar. Steven waved over at the table.

“I’m done with that. Now _I’m_ the head bartender, and I’m here to make you a drink,” he said, grabbing a glass from underneath the counter and placing it on top. Lapis snorted and leaned forward even more, cocking her head.

“Alright, then,” Lapis said. “How about a Cosmo?” Steven grabbed the glass and hopped off the stool he was on behind the counter, heading for the water spout.

“Water it is!” he declared, filling the glass and sliding it down the counter. Lapis caught it and laughed. Her entire torso was shaking, her mouth so wide she couldn’t cover it with her hands. Steven giggled as well, hopping back up onto the stool and tossing a napkin her way. Peridot joined in the giggling, but that _laugh…_ Peridot drank it in as if it were the finest wine in the world. It warmed her from her head to her toes, and made her feel light as air. A thousand tinkling bells were at her ears and all she wanted was to hear _more, more, more_ of that sound. Lapis finally calmed down, leaning forward and pulling her hair from its clip, ruffling her it thoughtfully as Peridot watched.

_Oh, my stars,_ she thought to herself. _How could anyone be such a joy?_ Lapis broke her out of her thoughts with a sigh.

“Oh, _Steven,_ ” Lapis said, still chuckling. She took the glass and downed half of it, still stifling giggles. Steven beamed behind the counter, turning to Peridot.

“Peridot, right?” he asked, leaning on both his arms and focusing his gaze. “Is that a gem?”

“It is,” Peridot responded, clasping her hands in front of her on the counter. “I know, weird name.”

“What color is it?” Steven asked. “I’ve never heard of it!”

“Green, right?” Lapis said, turning back towards Peridot. Both of her arms were on the counter, circling her glass, and as she turned, her arm brushed Peridot’s. Peridot _immediately_ pulled her arms into her lap, the burning heat of blush returning to her face.

_Get a grip,_ she scolded herself. _Jeeze._

“Y-yeah,” Peridot stammered. “Green. It’s an unusual one. August birthstone.” Steven let out a small gasp.

“ _My_ birthday is in August!” he proclaimed, and his eyes widened as he spoke. “ _That means I’m also a peridot!”_

“You are,” Peridot said, relaxing in Steven’s infectious enthusiasm. She’d only known him for two hours and already she was falling for his charm. “My birthday is in August, too, so we can be peridots together.”

“Ooooo, is that why you chose that gem?” Steven asked. Peridot was about to respond when a voice cut into the conversation.

“Steven, have you finished your work?” The trio turned to see Rose walking into the room, although Peridot wasn’t sure if what she was doing could qualify as walking. It was more like… floating. She was carrying a large book in her arms, which she placed down onto the bar as she glided towards them. Steven beamed at his mother and nodded.

“Yep!” he chirped, and Rose gave him a swift kiss to his forehead.

“I’m meeting with Garnet and then we’re going home, okay?” Steven nodded and Rose ruffled his hair. “Speaking of, has anyone seen her?”

“I’m back here.” Garnet’s low tenor wafted towards them from the employee room. “Ready when you are.”

“Coming,” Rose called, and she gave them all a warm smile as she headed in that direction, scooping up the book as she went. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Steven’s face fell.

“Something wrong, Steven?” Lapis asked, reaching out and placing her hand on his. Steven sighed.

“Mom thinks I don’t know, but… the club isn’t doing very well,” he explained, lowering his voice. “And I know it hasn’t always been the most popular, but… it’s _really_ not doing well.”

“Like... it might _close_ not doing well?” Lapis asked, her voice dropping to meet his. Peridot felt as if the bottom of her stomach had just fallen into her feet.

_What? No, this place can’t close!_

“I’m not sure,” Steven responded. “All I know is it’s bad. Badder than normal.” Steven suddenly screwed his face up in thought. “Is ‘badder’ a word?”

“Worse,” Peridot said. “ ‘Worse’ is the right word to use there.”

“Right!” Steven proclaimed, and he gave a small fist-pump in triumph. Lapis gave a small smile.

“At least your grammar is getting better,” she said, affectionately rubbing her thumb against the back of Steven’s hand. Steven gave her a grateful smile.

“I think it’ll be okay, but… Mom isn’t sure,” he said. “Dad isn’t either. They kinda fought about it the other day. It was scary.”

“Oh, Steven! If that ever happens again, just call me or Pearl,” Lapis said. “If you’re lucky we’ll both be home and we can talk to you together.”

“I will, thanks,” Steven said. “I’m gonna go put my stuff away.” He hopped down from the stool and bustled around the counter over towards his stuff on the far table. Lapis turned to watch him go, face still solemn.

“I really hope it’ll be okay,” Lapis murmured, mostly to herself. Peridot watched her, unsure of what to say. Should she comfort her? Did she want to be comforted?

It was at that moment that Peridot’s phone chose to vibrate – loudly – in her sweatshirt pocket. She jumped and reached into the front pouch, wondering just who was contacting her at five p.m. on a Monday. She frowned as she realized it was from an unknown number.

“What the… are spam texts a thing?” Peridot asked, and Lapis shrugged. “I don’t know this number…” She opened the message.

_Is this the number of Peridot Castillo?_ It read. _This is her cousin, Gretchen Gorman._ Peridot froze.

_Gretchen. Gretchen is contacting me. That means—_

Mom.

“Peridot?” Lapis said, but Peridot could barely hear her.

_Mom found me. She_ found _me. How did she find me?_

“I—gotta go,” Peridot mumbled, still staring down at her phone. She practically fell from the stool, heart racing up in her throat, mouth suddenly dry. The bad feeling in her gut from Steven’s admission quadrupled, and she felt as if she would vomit. Her vision swam and the entire club seemed liked it would spin out of existence if she didn’t leave immediately.

“Peridot?” she thought she heard Lapis say, but she was already falling off the stool, phone clutched in sweaty palms.

“Bye,” was all she said, and even mustering the energy for that was hard. _Gotta get home. Go home. GO HOME._ She looked down at the phone again the words screamed back at her in dim white light.

_Mom has finally found me. Why else would_ Gretchen _of all people be contacting me?_ As Peridot ran from the club, her cousin’s skinny frame swam in her vision. The oppressive heat of early summer tugged at her clothes and pinched at her skin, and her glasses slid dangerously down her nose with her frenzied sweat.

_Fuck!_ Was all she could think as she hopped on the train. _Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckkkkk—_

Peridot slammed her door open, threw her phone at the wall, and curled up in her duvet, glasses falling to the floor, entire body trembling.

_I can’t let Mom find me. I can’t._

_I’ll die if she does._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked for a fancy catering company for two weeks that sometimes had alcohol at events, that counts as working in a bar, right?
> 
> I can't believe the enthusiasm this fic has been met with - it warms my heart and really makes me feel great! I deeply appreciate it.


	5. The Saxophonist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot learns more than she expected about the bar and Lapis Lazuli.
> 
> **Warning for a description of a panic attack.**

_Okay,_ Peridot thought to herself, duvet pulled down over her face in a huddled mess. She needed to find a way to calm down before she started hyperventilating and _really_ going into overdrive. _Okay. Breathe. In, out. In, out. She won’t find you. She_ can’t _find you. She doesn’t know_ how _to find you._

_But Gretchen found you,_ the anxiety poisoning her brain piped up. _Gretchen might even know where you are._

_I was never really hiding from Gretchen,_ Peridot thought in response. _Only Mom. And she can’t find me. There’s no way Gretchen would look for me on Mom’s behalf. She hates her as much as I do._

“I’m okay,” Peridot said out loud to the muggy darkness of her duvet. “I’m okay. I’m okay.” _In, out._ Peridot sat up straight, legs crossed, and closed her eyes, hands on her knees. _In, out. You’re okay._ She could hear another buzz from the living room as her phone vibrated uselessly against the wall from where she had thrown it. _I hope it isn’t cracked,_ she thought. It had taken her a while to get her hands on a semi-decent phone from the women’s shelter and she wasn’t about to give it up.

“Okay,” she said again, her heart _finally_ retreating into her ribcage and out of her throat. “Okay. Maybe I can just… tell Gretchen that this is a wrong number. Or something.” Just because Gretchen had found her didn’t mean that Gretchen had to _know_ she found her, right?

Peridot carefully peeled herself from the duvet, picked up her glasses and padded into the living room, limbs still carrying a slight tremor from her panic attack. Her phone was lying face-down in the corner, vibrating on top of an old throw pillow. She reached down and held it gingerly in her hands, checking the surface for marks. Aside from the scuffed edges and tiny crack that had already been there, it looked the same. Peridot sighed in relief; at least she didn’t have to worry about a new phone.

She had three missed texts, all from the same number, claiming to be her cousin Gretchen. Her mother was one of four sisters, each one more annoying than the last, all of them with annoying kids. Gretchen had always been her favorite; she was quiet, and kind, and sweet, and didn’t want to make her punch every other wall she encountered.

“Gretchen wouldn’t contact you for Mom,” Peridot said in reassurance to herself. _She was the only one to offer help when Mom first kicked you out._ Steeling herself, Peridot unlocked the phone and opened the messages.

**Unknown contact:** If this is Peridot Castillo, please just let me know if you’re okay.  
**Unknown contact:** Aunt Aurelia brought you up for the first time in eight months and… I’m worried.  
**Unknown contact:** If this is not Peridot Castillo, please disregard.

_Poor Gretchen,_ Peridot thought. Always on the edge of her seat, always anxious about something. _Should I tell her the truth?_ Peridot honestly wasn’t sure _how_ Gretchen had managed to even find a number with her name attached. She was on a shared plan with Sadie and her mom, on a donated phone she’d gotten through the woman’s shelter. Her number had changed three times in the last year, and she had moved so many times she was dizzy with the memories. The millions of denizens of Empire City were her protection, her mask, her shield to hide behind. How had Gretchen found her?

“It doesn’t matter now,” Peridot mumbled as she typed a reply. “She’s never contacting me here again.”

_Sorry, this is a donated phone,_ she typed out. _I got this from the woman’s shelter. If this person was the previous owner, they no longer use this phone. Please don’t contact me again._ The pain in her stomach finally began to subside as she hit **BLOCK NUMBER** and dropped her phone down on the futon. She followed it, head in her hands, eyes closed, breathing deeply through her nose.

_You have got to calm down,_ she commanded her brain. _Calm. Down. Peridot._ Was it because she didn’t start using an alias? Peridot Castillo wasn’t exactly a common blend-in name, but she had been okay so far. Besides, she was certain her mother didn’t even _want_ to find her, anyway.

“She won’t find you,” Peridot mumbled through dry lips. “She doesn’t _want_ you.”

_Not better,_ that same voice chided. Peridot took one last long, cleansing breath, deep in her chest, before sitting up straight and staring at her phone, dormant on the futon. The messages on the screen flashed through her mind, one in particular standing out to slight alarm.

_Aunt Aurelia brought you up for the first time in 8 months and… I’m worried._

What did that _mean?_ Should she have texted back?

“She was probably just calling me a dyke again,” Peridot murmured to herself. “And a bunch of other terrible names.” Peridot wrapped her arms around herself and laid down on the futon beside her phone, staring blearily up at the ceiling. Although she had managed to calm herself down _this_ time, she was still shaken to her core by the surprise.

“What do I do?” she whispered, still staring upwards. She removed her glasses and put one arm over her eyes, lower lip trembling. _What do I do?_

As if on cue, her phone vibrated. Peridot jumped, turning on her side to check the message, half convinced it was Gretchen again. She could almost see her cousin sitting there, in her aunt’s big blue house, somehow hacking her way into being able to get in touch with Peridot again, blue hair in her face like always.

_If she even still has blue hair,_ Peridot thought glumly as she unlocked her phone. _Maybe it’s like, green now or something._ She had a text.

It was from Garnet.

_Are you alright?_ Was all it read. Peridot banged out a reply.

_Yes, sorry for running out of there._ She closed her eyes again, suddenly exhausted. It was getting close to six thirty and she hadn’t eaten in hours. _I should probably eat something…._ Her phone buzzed again.

_If you need anything,_ Garnet wrote, _just let me know. You’re always safe here._ Peridot sat up, pursing her lips at her phone. She fumbled for her glasses and put them back on, staring at the screen. There it was; a lifeline, opening itself up to her. Dare she take it?

Peridot didn’t respond. Instead, she pocketed the device, stood, and stretched her back, waiting for the satisfying _pop_ to reach her ears.

_I’ll talk to Garnet on Wednesday,_ she decided. She pulled her phone back out and checked the club schedule for Wednesday. She was on at 6 PM, one hour to open, and it looked like the dancers had a full rehearsal earlier that day.

_Garnet will probably be there early, then,_ she thought as she rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. An apple was sitting by itself on a shelf and Peridot picked it up, gave it a once over, and bit into it, satisfied at the food source. _Just talk to her then. Let her know what’s going on. Maybe she can give you some pointers?_

“She did say a lot of people there are running from something,” Peridot said as she retreated to her room. “I guess I’m one of them.”

\---

Peridot arrived at the club at four p.m. two days later, promptly two hours early. It was about an hour since the dancers finished their group rehearsal, and about an hour before the band started showing up. The perfect downtime spot for Peridot to wiggle in and get a chance to speak to Garnet.

“Oh, hi,” Ruby said as she opened the door and let Peridot in, a surprised look on her face. Peridot had only met Ruby and her wife Sapphire on her first shift, and hadn’t seen them since. Ruby stepped aside and re-locked the door behind Peridot. “I hope you weren’t out there knocking too long, we weren’t expecting anyone to show up right now.”

“No, it’s fine,” Peridot said, digging her hands into her pockets. Ruby was fiddling with her wedding band, spinning it around and around on her ring finger like it was a toy. “I came unannounced. Is Garnet here?”

“Yeah, she’s in the back with Rose, though,” Ruby explained as they headed towards the dark bar. The lights underneath the counter were on, and the backlights that were part of the house lights were lit, but the rest was dark. The rest of the club was also in mostly darkness, save for the stage and the band stand.

“Oh,” Peridot replied, face falling. “I’ll, uh, wait for her then.” Ruby nodded, pocketing her hands and staring up at the sound booth above the bar.

“Well, Sapphire and I will be up there,” she said, pointing upwards. She shuffled her feet awkwardly and then said “i-if you need us.” She then walked away, essentially running up the stairs to the booth.

_She’s so shy,_ Peridot thought as she took a seat at one of the dark tables. _I wonder why?_ She knew next to nothing about them – just that they were married, Sapphire had a glass eye, and they were related to Garnet in some way. _I should get to know them better,_ she thought, pulling her tablet out from her bag.

One of the few possessions she had from her previous life, Peridot rarely took it out of her apartment for fear of it being lost or broken. Today, however, she was feeling a bit more confident, knowing she was going to be getting some relief from her troubles. It was the effect Garnet had on those around her, that instant comfort and security. Peridot was surprised how used it to she’d already become. Besides, she could use this time to brush up on some of the more complicated drinks that had eluded her in her last shift.

After a few minutes of silent reading, Peridot heard voices coming from the back. They were getting louder and louder, when suddenly—

“—And she doesn’t even know real notes,” Jasper was saying as she emerged from behind the lush pink curtain into the house lights warming the stage. Peridot glanced up, surprised to see that anyone else was there. She turned to the band stand and noticed that Jasper’s alto saxophone was sitting on a stand beside her seat, half-hidden. A larger bag with a larger saxophone-looking instrument was on her chair, glinting in the light. _How had she missed that?_

“I mean, she _is_ just a drummer,” a second voice said, and Peridot’s head whipped around so fast she thought she’d lose her glasses.

_Is that—_

Lapis emerged from the curtain as well, arms crossed over her chest, squinting in the dim light. She was wearing a light blue bustier that hit her just below her ribcage, exposing her midriff and navel ring to the club. She had those same tight black shorts on ( _how many of those does she own?_ Peridot wondered) and was, of course, barefoot. She followed Jasper over to her seat and sat down beside her in Bismuth’s spot. Neither performer had noticed Peridot’s presence in the dark club.

“Well, yeah, she has _rhythm_ ,” Jasper acknowledged, pulling her hair into a brilliant white ponytail. “But she couldn’t sing a note to save her life, y’know?” Lapis chuckled, arms still firmly crossed, her legs pressed together like she was in a vice.

“Yeah, I get it,” she said, and gave Jasper a weary smile. “Okay, what was the part that was all flat earlier?” Jasper leaned forward to her music stand, flipping through the pages resting there, a lock of hair falling idly to Lapis’s shoulder. Lapis glanced at it, pursed her lips, but said nothing, leaning forwards as well until she was almost touching Jasper’s shoulder with her own. Jasper didn’t notice her hair or Lapis moving, and was instead staring at the music with a confused expression.

“It was… where was it… ugh,” Jasper muttered, narrowing her eyes. “Damnit, it was… oh, here, right before the fermata.” Lapis peered at the music, dropping her hands into her lap. Jasper leaned back, running her fingers over the larger saxophone in her hands. Peridot wracked her brain for any instrumental knowledge, trying to place Jasper’s instrument. It was longer and bigger than her alto sax, with a swooping neck that reminded her of a goose or swan.

“Okay, I see what happened,” Lapis said after a few moments of silence. She pointed to the music and started humming. “It’s written kinda weird, so…I think Sardonyx may have messed up how the words are supposed to be sung. It’s more like _this.”_ Lapis leaned back, closed her eyes, and starting singing.

“ _Dragonflies out in the sun, you know what I mean, don’t you know? Butterflies all having fun, you knoooow what I mean… Sleep in peace when day is done, you know what I mean… And this old world is a new world…_ ”

“… _Is a bold world, for meee…_ ” Jasper joined in, her fingers flying along with the notes. Peridot continued to sit in silence, her tablet dark before her. Lapis’s voice was smooth and rich and it surrounded her in a way she hadn’t expected it to. It was soft but Peridot could just tell from the way she was singing, that if she wanted to, she could fill the entire room with sound.

_She can sing, too?_ she thought as her cheeks heated up in surprise. _Is there anything she isn’t good at?_ Lapis stopped singing, looking over at Jasper with a slight flush to her cheeks. Jasper glanced up at Lapis and then back down at her music, her shoulders rigid.

“Does that help?” Lapis asked in a small voice. Jasper pressed her lips together and gave a small nod. Somewhere behind Peridot, a door swung open and shut, providing the only other sound in the entire club. The air was so tense she thought she could _see_ the soundwaves in the air between the two on the band platform.

“Y-yeah, it does. I _thought_ Sard’s singing was off, and I think it threw me off, heh.” They sat in a pregnant silence, Jasper still staring at the music, but her eyes weren’t moving – almost like she was just looking at it to prevent herself from looking at Lapis.

“Okay,” Lapis said, and she made to stand. Jasper suddenly turned and placed a hand on Lapis’s arm, and the former froze.

“Thanks,” Jasper said, turning to Lapis. “I know—”

“It’s fine,” Lapis cut in, pulling her arm from Jasper’s grip. Her eyes were wide and cheeks flushed. “I noticed the weirdness, too. I mean, it’s the group song so… anything I can do to help make it sound good is…” she trailed off, eyes still locked with Jasper’s. She licked her lips and sprung up, sprinting past Jasper and back behind the curtain. Both Peridot and Jasper watched her go.

_That was… strange,_ Peridot thought. She looked back up at Jasper, who sighed and went back to her music. She pulled a pencil out of one of her cases and stared writing something on the music in front of her, narrowing her eyes and groaning as she did.

“Were those two _talking?_ ” a voice said in Peridot’s ear, and Peridot yelped and spun around. Amethyst was standing right behind her, grinning in the darkness.

“Amethyst!” Peridot cried, and Jasper looked up in surprise.

“Is there someone out there?” she called, shading her eyes from the light and peering into the dark. “Amethyst?”

“Just me and P-dot,” Amethyst called, waving. Jasper snorted.

“Try to keep it down, I’m trying to _potentially_ re-write this piece,” she called back. Amethyst shrugged.

“No promises, J.” Jasper scoffed and stood, picking the book up off the stand.

“I’ll just _go in the back,_ then,” Jasper said, gathering her instrument bag from the floor and walking off-stage. Amethyst slid into the seat beside Peridot at the table, waiting until Jasper’s footsteps faded into the dark. She then excitedly turned to Peridot, eyes wide, fingers drumming on the table.

“So! Were they talking?” she asked as Peridot let out a sigh. Her heart was pounding in her throat and she had a slight headache behind her eyes.

“Yeah,” Peridot said, her eyes still on Jasper’s seat on the band platform. “Are they…. _Not_ talking?” Amethyst fiddled with a lock of lavender hair as she rolled her eyes.

“Man, I keep forgetting how _new_ you are,” she said, and she beckoned Peridot to lean in closer. “They haven’t spoken in like, a year, so the fact that _that_ just happened is _huge._ ”

“Did they have a fight or something?” Peridot asked, looking back at the stilled curtain. She had the weird feeling that either Lapis or Jasper would re-emerge as they spoke. Amethyst raised her eyebrows and flipped her hair over her shoulder, running her hands through it and splitting it into three sections for a braid.

“You couldn’t tell from the way they were sitting up there? All tense and stuff but still like… _close_?” Amethyst said in a low voice, deftly braiding her long hair in a matter of seconds. She grabbed Peridot’s shoulder and pulled her in so close their foreheads nearly touched. “They used to date, _duh._ ”

“They _did_?!” Peridot said, a bit louder than she had meant. Amethyst tossed her braid over her shoulder and nodded.

“ _Obviously_. They weren’t together super long, like maybe a year or something, but it ended really, _really_ badly,” Amethyst explained. “ _Everyone_ knew what was goin’ on, too, because they both worked here. It wasn’t a… great relationship from the start, but y’know. They weren’t super compatible.” Amethyst tilted her head to the side in thought. “I mean, I guess they were compatible in… specific ways?” Another grin crossed her face and her eyes grew wild. “ _If you know what I mean._ ” Amethyst raised her eyebrows and Peridot felt her cheeks burning to match the sullen feeling in her gut.

“O-oh.” _I guess I’m not that surprised,_ Peridot thought, _considering this is a club that is based in untouchable sex._

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Amethyst said, biting her lower lip. “I heard Rose used to catch ‘em in the dressing rooms like, all the time.”

“Ame _thyst_ ,” a voice interjected, and Sardonyx appeared with Smoky Quarts in tow. “You shouldn’t gossip about your coworkers, young lady.”

“I was just filling P-dot here in on the _background,_ ” Amethyst said, looking sheepish. “It was bound to come up sooner or later!”

“Not necessarily,” Sardonyx scolded, but she was smiling. Smoky rolled up to Peridot’s other side, shaking their head at Amethyst.

“Why are you even talking about this?” they asked as Sardonyx gave Amethyst an affectionate head pat as she walked by. She headed into the doorway under the band platform, disappearing into the long hallway beneath. Amethyst gestured to Jasper’s empty seat and whispered,

“Lapis and Jasper were talking again!”

“Oh!” Smoky exclaimed in surprise. “Really? Like, actually talking?”

“Yeah! Like words an’ junk,” Amethyst said. “Peridot here saw the whole thing!” Peridot nodded, eyes darting between the two musicians.

“They came out of the back together and were sitting up there,” Peridot explained. “They were going over some music.”

“Oh, yeah, there were some iffy spots during rehearsal today,” Amethyst said. “Lapis has perfect pitch so she’s good for notes.” Smoky was still staring at Jasper’s seat, mouth open in surprise.

“Were they, like… close together?” they asked, turning to Peridot. Peridot shrugged.

“I guess so? It was really tense the whole time,” she explained. “They both looked kind of uncomfortable.”

“I came in right before Lapis left,” Amethyst added. “It was kinda weird, seeing them together again. Only difference was Lapis _wasn’t_ in Jasper’s lap.” The feeling in Peridot’s stomach doubled in intensity, making her want to lie down. _Jasper and Lapis? In what world were they anything alike enough to date?_

“How long were they together, again?” Peridot asked without thinking. The words tumbled from her lips as soon as they entered her brain, and she wanted to rip them from the air and swallow them up. Her curiosity was starting to get the better of her, even though the more she heard about their past relationship, the more she regretted it.

“Four or five months, I think,” Smoky said, and Amethyst scoffed and shook her head.

“Naw, it was like a year, right?”

“No, definitely not _that_ long… it just felt that long, didn’t it? They moved _really_ fast.” Amethyst considered it and pursed her lips.

“Now that you say it… maybe it was less than a year…”

“It was like a very intense five months,” Smoky said, hand on their chin. “Remember? They talked about getting married at month three.” Amethyst snapped her fingers at Smoky, eyes wide.

“Oh _yeah!_ And we all thought they were kidding, but they were totally serious?” Smoky nodded. They brushed their fingers through their bangs, leaning forwards towards Peridot and Amethyst.

“What was it that Sheena used to say they had? Something magnetism?” Amethyst grinned.

“It was _sexual_ magnetism, Smoky, and it was _in-tense._ Remember, they like, couldn’t keep their hands or eyes off each other?” Smoky mirrored Amethyst’s grin, and for a moment, Peridot noticed a strange resemblance between the two. _Were they related?_

“I _thought_ I told you not to gossip!” Sardonyx cried as she reappeared from the back. She stood at their table with her hands on her hips, frowning at both Smoky and Amethyst. “I’m actually very disappointed! You know the rule about personal histories. That was nearly a year ago and it’s done. What’s past, is past.” Amethyst and Smoky both looked away, embarrassed. Sardonyx’s light smile from before had completely vanished, and she looked very teacher-like with her cat-eye glasses, black blazer and disappointed frown. After a moment of silence where Sardonyx’s eyes flitted between the drummer and bassist, her smile returned, and she gestured to the band stand.

“Now, why don’t we let Peridot rest before her shift and why don’t you two get started up there with me?” Sardonyx suggested. She cracked her knuckles and darted back under the stand, reappearing moments later and sitting at her baby grand piano. Smoky and Amethyst shared a look before standing up themselves.

“We’ll catch ya later, Dot,” Amethyst said, as Smoky gave a peace sign, cheeks still rosy from embarrassment. Peridot gave a simple wave and watched as they retreated up to the band platform with Sardonyx, mumbling apologies. As much as Peridot hadn’t expected to get so much information about Lapis’s background, she was still kind of glad she knew.

_Jasper and Lapis,_ she wondered. _I wonder what that was like._ And what had ended it _so_ badly that they hadn’t spoken in close to a year? She looked back over at the curtain, the image of Lapis running behind it, only to be followed by Jasper still fresh in her mind.

Suddenly, Peridot’s phone began a high-pitched trilling from inside her bag. She yelped and reached inside, startled from her thoughts, the anxiety from before pooling in her gut.

“Oh god, it isn’t Gretchen again, is it?” Peridot mumbled, shakily opening her phone. Instead of a text, it was a reminder of her shift. It was four thirty and she had yet to talk to Garnet, whom she knew would become preoccupied at five. “Oh, damnit!” Peridot shoved her phone and tablet into her bag and sprang from her seat as if she’d been burned, turning and shuffling back behind the bar. She crossed into the back room, where there was a tiny fridge, some legal posters, and a small table with two chairs. There was another door leading to a tiny office where Garnet did most of her bar work. Peridot sidled up to the door, placing her ear against it. _Garnet must be free by now, right?_

“It just isn’t working,” a muffled voice said through the thin plywood. “The old tricks aren’t cutting it anymore. We need something _really_ new or…”

“Well, we do have that new routine—”

“No, it needs to be bolder. Something completely brand new.” There was a shuffling of papers and a chair scraping. “We need a new hook. A new _angle._ Whatever was working four years ago isn’t working anymore, and if we want to stay afloat, we have to figure something out.” There was a strained silence.

“How long do we have to figure that out?” Peridot tried to hide the gasp of surprise as she heard Pearl speaking as well. She expected Rose and Garnet to be in there, but Pearl? Maybe she was more integral to the club than Peridot originally thought. More shuffling papers.

“If we’re lucky, a month?” Garnet said thoughtfully. “If we want to completely avoid bankruptcy… a few weeks at most.” Someone let out a heavy sigh on the other side of the door. “We need an _excellent_ few days to keep us afloat, and then we need to completely blow next weekend out of the water to make up for the last quarter.”

“Well!” Pearl perked up with, “the university Pride festival is on Friday and Saturday. Aren’t we already doing something for that?”

“Good point, Pearl,” Rose said, and Peridot let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. _Bankruptcy? Didn’t bankruptcy lead to closings?_ “I think we may already be on their bar crawl map, which is good. Maybe we can entice them with something else?”

“I’ll work on it,” Garnet said. Peridot silently pulled a chair over to the door and sat, her ear still pressed flush against it. “If we have that, we’ll at least stave off the worst of it. But we need something _bold_ next weekend or we’ll be in trouble.”

“Maybe we can ask the dancers for ideas?” Pearl suggested. “And the band! We do have one of the best ensembles this side of the Village.”

“True, we should see what the band can do,” Rose said. Another sigh, another silence. It was thick and heavy and made Peridot feel uneasy. From outside the bar, piano notes reached Peridot’s ears and shook her from her from her post. She turned in time to see Smoky join in with an upbeat bass line and Amethyst join them with a lighthearted drum beat. It put the conversation behind the door into sharp contrast; the club now felt more lively and jazzy with Sardonyx’s skilled playing echoing throughout the darkened tables.

“Sounds like most of the band is here,” Garnet said from the office, and there was a collective scraping of chairs. Peridot jumped back from the door and half-ran, half tip-toed out from behind the bar and slid onto the stool propped up near the end. She pulled out her phone and pretended to look enthralled as Pearl and Rose came walking out, speaking in low voices to each other.

“Oh! Peridot!” Rose said, brightening considerably as she approached the bartender. Peridot looked up, face flushed, smiling. The band had stopped momentarily as Jasper re-appeared; they exchanged jibes and started again, this time Jasper joining with her alto. “How are you today?”

“Good!” Peridot chirped, feeling very false. “Uh, I mean, good. It’s a nice day today, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Rose agreed, and Pearl pursed her lips and said nothing. She instead glanced up at the band, hands on her hips.

“This song isn’t even on the roster for tonight,” she said, shaking her head and heading to the passageway under the band platform. Rose chuckled and smiled after Pearl as Garnet appeared from the back as well, clipboard in hand.

“Pearl of all people should know how much Sardonyx loves this song,” Garnet commented with a half-smile. She looked up above the bar at the sound booth, thought a moment, then headed to the staircase that lead above.

“I’m going to check in with Ruby and Sapphire,” she said, nodding to Rose. “I’ll meet you back stage then?”

“Of course,” Rose replied, and winked. Garnet just smiled and took the stairs two at a time, clanking in heavy boots as she went. Rose then turned to Peridot, one hand on her hip, wearing a full-length skirt as usual, and smiled that same warm, gentle smile Peridot had already grown so fond of.

“Peridot,” she said, and Peridot glanced up, phone still in hand, the words she heard through the door still twirling around in her mind. “I’m _so_ glad you’re here.”

“Oh,” Peridot said, ears turning pink. “Thank you, Rose.” Rose gave a nod and then disappeared after Pearl, leaving just Peridot and the band behind. She looked up at the band, eyes settling on Jasper, who was front and center as always. Her eyes were focused on the music stand in front of her, but Peridot realized they weren’t moving; she wasn’t _reading_ the music, she was just… staring. Clearly, she had this one memorized.

_Is she thinking about Lapis?_ Peridot wondered, and a shiver ran through her. _Did she dump Lapis? Did Lapis dump her? Did she love Lapis?_

_…did Lapis still love_ her? The ever-present knot in Peridot’s gut tightened.

\---

It wasn’t until the end of the night that Peridot realized she’d completely forgotten to talk to Garnet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured in this chapter:  
> "Feeling Good" cover by Michael Bublé (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI)  
> "Take The 'A' Train" by Duke Ellington (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dthGrehkuEk)
> 
> Plot is picking up, finally! By the way, it was a tenor sax that Jasper was playing, but I couldn't figure out how to get Peridot to realize that if she hadn't ever seen one before.
> 
> Thank you everyone!


	6. The Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis grow closer as Lapis lets out a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis's song: "She Used to be Mine" by Sara Bareilles, from her musical 'Waitress' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53GIADHxVzM)

Peridot spent the rest of the week with a bitter taste on her tongue. Her stomach was roiled in knots as her anxiety spiked with every vibration of her phone. Even just her alarm startled her from sleep, arms flailing for the off button in a flurry of fear. She was sleeping fewer hours every night and by Saturday she was fully exhausted.

“I’ve gotta do _something_ ,” she murmured to herself as she laid on her back on her bed. It was a gloomy, rainy day, and she had to be at work in three hours. The previous day had been busier than normal with the Pride Festival going on at UES, and they had managed to turn a tiny profit. Garnet was expecting a bigger crowd tonight, what with the parade going on downtown during the day traipsing right through the Gay Village. They were opening an hour early in anticipation.

All of this was shadowed by a thick, twisted cloud of anxiety. Peridot was petrified that her cousin, her aunt, or even, God forbid, her mother would somehow get in touch with her. There hadn’t been a peep since the incident earlier that week, but that didn’t stop her mind from reeling at the speed of light. She had yet to get the chance to talk to Garnet and it was driving her mad.

Maybe you should talk to a therapist? Sadie offered in her latest text. It came nine minutes after Peridot’s last message. Peridot held the phone in front of her face, removing her glasses and squinting.

“Hah,” she said out loud. “As if I could afford that.” She quickly typed a response. I can’t afford that. Besides, I wouldn’t get in to see one before tonight. Her stomach gave a small growl and Peridot sighed, knowing she had to eat something before that night. The anxious thoughts sucked all her appetite and even the small enjoyment from eating she normally got. Luckily, Sadie responded quicker this time.

_Is there someone you can call?_ The message read. Peridot frowned.

_You’re the only person I talk to, and you’re at work._ A buzz as a reply appeared.

_I know, what about someone at the club?_ Peridot pursed her lips and considered the suggestion. She knew Garnet was busy, and the only other person she really knew was Amethyst. Rose would probably humor her, but if Garnet was busy, then Rose was _definitely_ busy.

_Maybe Amethyst? That drummer I told you about?_

_Give her a call? If I’m off before you leave we can chat too, y’know._

_I know. Thanks :)_ Peridot sighed and lowered the phone so it balanced on her nose and forehead, laying her arms by her sides. She laid like this for about a minute before sighing heavily and picking the device back up, squinting at the screen.

“Hey, phone,” Peridot said, “call Amethyst.” There was a small vibration and a sound like a gear churning, and the phone menu screen vanished. Since it was a donated, refurbished phone, it didn’t work one hundred percent, but the voice activated feature seemed to work fairly well most of the time. Peridot laid the phone back on her face as she listened to the tinny ring through the speaker, the only sound aside from the loud whine from the refrigerator behind her.

The phone rang three, four, five times against her nose. Brrrrrrr—click. Someone picked up. “Hello?” Peridot jumped and sat up, launching her phone to the floor with a loud crash and a panicked yelp. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

_That wasn’t Amethyst._

_It was Lapis._

“…hello?” Lapis said a third time, her voice wavering. Peridot scrambled for the phone, feeling blindly for a dark blob near her feet. She grabbed the phone and smashed it against her ear with a loud slap.

“Lapis?” Peridot cried, her voice sounding way too high and whiny. “L-Lapis, it’s me! It’s Peridot.” Lapis let out a tense sigh.

“Peridot? From the club?” she said. “How did you get this number?” Peridot bit her lower lip and fiddled with her hair.

“You gave it to me?” A beat of silence as Lapis let out a breath. She chuckled lowly into the phone.

“Right. I forgot. Sorry, I don’t give it out much.” Peridot let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and tenderly sat back down on the futon, placing her glasses back on her face. “Is something up?”

“I, uh, actually meant to call Amethyst,” Peridot explained, twirling a lock around her finger. Her face was suddenly very hot and her glasses were sliding down her inexplicably sweaty nose. “My phone isn’t the greatest and called you by mistake.” There was the sound of shifting fabric on the other end of the line, rustling gently against the receiver.

“Oh,” Lapis responded simply. She grunted and there was another rustle, louder this time. “Sorry, I’m going through some clothes here.” Peridot smiled and relaxed against the futon’s rigid back.

“That’s okay. I can, um, hang up, if you want.” Her heart thrummed in her throat at the suggestion, nervousness flitting in her veins. The fear she had been feeling before was now mixed with that familiar unease that Lapis alone seemed to inspire within her. Lapis shifted again.

“Did you want to call Amethyst? I’m assuming there was a reason you were looking for her,” Lapis said, and Peridot hoped she was actually detecting bit of sadness in her voice at the idea of hanging up and not just imagining it. Peridot swallowed.

“Well… I’m actually looking for someone… just to, uh, talk out a problem with,” Peridot confessed, running her hand through her hair. Lapis ‘hmm’ed in response. “If you’re okay with that…?” She was met with silence on the other end of the line, and Peridot’s body stiffened. You overstepped it this time, Castillo, you walking disaster. She’s never gonna wana talk to you again after this, you just made her so uncomfortable—

“Sure,” Lapis said, interrupting her self-hating internal monologue. “Just give me a second.” Peridot listened as Lapis shuffled around more, and she detected the faint sound of soft footsteps through the phone. A door clicked shut, more rustling, and Lapis returned. “Okay. What did you want to talk about?”

“Well,” Peridot started, cheeks coloring. She… actually wants to listen to my problem? “Without getting into too much detail, let’s just say I’m… trying to stay away from someone. And someone close to that someone just tried to contact me the other day, for the first time in almost a year. And… I handled it (I think), but I’m just… really nervous that they’ll try to contact me again. So nervous that I can’t sleep, or eat, without feeling sick.” Lapis said nothing, just breathed softly into the phone, the sound urging Peridot to continue. “So, I was just wondering, like… how do I deal with it?” Lapis took a deep breath and made a small noise that sounded like a sigh.

“Do these people have any other way of getting in touch with you?” she asked after a few moments of silence. Peridot shook her head.

“No, I don’t think so. I changed all my contact information after I… stopped knowing them.”

“And they still got your phone number somehow?” Peridot tightened her grip on the phone.

“I mean… yes. My—the person has some connections in… places.” My mother is the Chief Litigation Counsel at a multinational Fortune 500 company, she wanted to say, but didn’t. If she really wanted to, she could probably find me easily.

“But you got them off your back?” Lapis inquired.

“Yeah, I said this was a donated phone and whoever had it before no longer had this number. And then I blocked them,” Peridot explained. “Which is kind of the truth, this is a donated phone.” Lapis chuckled again.

“From the Empire City Women’s House?” Peridot faltered. She’d had the feeling that she wasn’t the only woman at the Crystal Temple familiar with the safety net programs of Empire City.

“The one and only.”

“I got my last cell phone from them,” Lapis explained. Another shift of fabric. “I… know how you feel, Peridot. I know that feeling of… being afraid of someone finding you. Someone who you want to stay lost to.” She cleared her throat. “All I can say is… you got them off your back. If whoever contacted you is semi-decent, they wouldn’t try again. It’s a believable enough lie, and I know from experience that if they try contacting the shelter, the shelter won’t give them any details about the phone.”

“Oh.” Peridot hadn’t even thought of that possibility. “That… makes sense.” The knot uncoiled, just a bit. At least they can’t find me by phone again.

“Most likely they’ve already written off that number,” Lapis said. Her voice was calm and smooth and warmed her throat like a soothing balm. Peridot took a deep breath and let it out through her nose. “Are you doing deep breathing?”

“Not, uh, specifically,” Peridot admitted. “Should I?”

“Yeah,” Lapis suggested. “Take another deep breath. Raise your arms above your head and let your chest expand.” Peridot set the phone in her lap and did so, stretching her arms as far above her head as she could go. She took another breath and this time her chest expanded fully, oxygen seeping into every fiber and rib. It was startling how full she felt of air, and she was dizzy with the high. She pursed her lips and blew it back out, already feeling a tingling calm in her limbs. She brought the phone back to her ear.

“Wow,” she muttered, “I never realized I could breathe so much.”

“You learn a lot about breathing as a dancer,” Lapis said with a smile in her voice. “You have to have adequate breath or you’ll be panting and that doesn’t look good.”

“I can imagine,” Peridot said, placing one hand over her left breast. She could feel the stilling calm of her heart as it slowly returned to normal, her anxiety easing just a bit. “That does feel better.”

“Try that a few times. Close your eyes if you want,” Lapis suggested. “It really calms your body down, which helps calm your mind if it’s really racing.”

“I will, thanks,” Peridot said, lifting one arm above her head and taking another breath. She heard footsteps again as Lapis moved around her apartment.

“The best thing you can do about the thoughts is try to focus on the now and what you can control,” Lapis continued. “What’s the _actual_ likelihood that these people will try to find you again?”

“Probably… pretty slim,” Peridot admitted. “They… that one person really doesn’t want anything to do with me.” _Pretty sure she’d rather I be dead,_ that nagging voice in her head added.

“Try focusing on the here and now,” Lapis said as she closed a door on her end. “Garnet is actually a really good resource for this kind of stuff; she’s been studying meditation forever. Have you tried talking to her about these feelings?” It was Peridot’s turn to chuckle weakly.

“I actually tried the other night, but she’s been so busy lately I haven’t been able to get any time with her,” Peridot said. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her free arm around them. “She _did_ tell me to reach out if I needed anything.”

“Just butt in,” Lapis said. “Honestly, she’ll drop anything, _especially_ if it’s for Steven. But that’s kind of a universal feeling.”

“So, you’re saying I should get Steven to get her attention?” Peridot said, thinking back to the rosy-cheeked youth. She was already quite fond of him, even if she’d only met him once. At that, Lapis let out that _laugh_ – riverside clear and mountain bold, it shivered throughout Peridot’s body and wrapped around her heart.

_Oh, God,_ Peridot thought. _I love her laugh._ Lapis calmed and sighed happily into the receiver.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting,” she said. “Honestly? He’d do it, too. He’s such a wonderful kid, all he does is try to help everyone all the time.”

“How long have you known him, again?” Peridot asked, picking at a loose thread on her knee. Her jeans were getting ratty again.

“Eight-ish years,” Lapis responded. “Since he was about eight years old. He used to be a lot shorter, believe it or not. Shorter and rounder,” she added, laughing under the words. “Everyone thought he’d take after Greg in the height department, but I think he’s going to get even taller than Rose!”

“Rose _is_ tall,” Peridot agreed. “How tall is she?”

“Well… there’s some debate about that…”

\---

One hour and forty-seven minutes later, Peridot’s phone had three percent battery and she reluctantly hung up the phone. They had spent near two hours discussing everything; Rose’s height, Steven’s fascination with weird shells, why BC Boulevard always smelled like burnt peanuts, the gentrification of the Gay Village, and the shape of Greek letters, to name a few topics. It had felt so natural and easy, as if she had known Lapis her entire life and she was _actually_ on the phone with an old friend.

Peridot powered down her phone and plugged it in, hoping it would be fully charged by the time she had to leave at three. It took her about thirty minutes to get to the club, and she had agreed to get there by three-thirty to meet with Lapis and go over some other breathing exercises. She found herself glancing at the time on her tablet every five minutes, counting down the time until three p.m., when she could leave for the club for the evening.

She spent the afternoon studying the more complex cocktails, like Sex on the Beach, Cosmopolitans, and her mortal enemy of the week, the White Russian.  When her tablet chirped three p.m. at her several hours later, she all but bolted from the run-down brick building, practically crashing into her landlord on the way out.

“HI BYE!” she cried as she slipped by Nanefua, who was carrying a bag of groceries. Jenny, one of her granddaughters and one of the club’s waitresses, gave her a genial wave.

“See you soon, Peridot!” she called after her. Peridot hopped onto the subway and turned on her phone, hoping it was close to fully charged. Her heart thrummed against her ribcage and she was giddy with the idea of talking to Lapis more today.

_Maybe we’ll go to her dressing room,_ she thought, waiting for her phone to boot up. _And she’ll show me all those breathing exercises, and I’ll be able to talk to Garnet, and I’ll feel better, and I’ll never hear from Gretchen again, and maybe Lapis will show me how to dance—_

“Whoa,” Peridot said out loud, startling the woman next to her. “Where did _that_ thought come from?”

_Please,_ her mind shot back, _you’d kill for a private dance from Lapis Lazuli._ Peridot’s cheeks turned bright red and she trained her eyes on her phone, wishing her traitorous thoughts away.

_I mean, yeah, of course I would,_ Peridot thought. _But that’s not gonna happen._

_It could. Remember? Garnet said she likes you. She talked to you for two hours today!_

_That’s because she’s nice,_ Peridot countered. She grunted as she was shoved aside for a departing passenger; the train was _packed_ for three p.m. _Right. The Pride Festival._

The phone finally clicked to life right as Peridot got off the train three blocks from the club. She had two texts, both from Lapis.

**Lapis:** Hey Peridot! Can you come for 3:45 instead?  
**Lapis:** I forgot I agreed to help Sardonyx with something at 3:30.

Peridot pursed her lips. It was three twenty-five and she was four minutes away.

“Oh,” was all she said as she slipped through the growing crowd for the locked front door. Pearl was unlocking it just as she arrived, and she followed the dancer inside.

“Peridot, you’re early,” Pearl noted, her velvet shoe pouch hanging from her shoulder as always. She locked the door behind them and ventured into the main room. It was, as expected, dark, except for Ruby running up and down the stairs to the sound booth above the bar.

“Lapis asked me to come a bit early,” Peridot admitted, shoulders slumping. “But I guess she’s busy.”

“Oh, yes, she did say she had something to do with Sardonyx,” Pearl said, rubbing her chin. She ran a hand through her peach locks and tugged at them slightly. “I just got a haircut and I always feel… odd after those. You know?” Peridot raised her eyebrows. _Is Pearl trying to be friendly?_

“Uh, I guess so?” Peridot said. Her own hair was getting on the long side, having grown out of its stylish shaggy pixie and more into a semi-homeless look. Pearl furrowed her brow and said nothing else, instead escaping down the hallway under the band platform. Peridot sighed and looked around, unsure of what to do. She wandered over to the bar office and saw the door ajar, but no one was inside.

“Well… now what?” Peridot mumbled, setting her messenger bag down on the floor beside the metal desk. She peered at the desk and noticed several folders bursting with papers, all of them with bright red markings that looked very… bad.

Curious, Peridot sat down at the desk and opened the topmost folder, glancing up at the doorway to see if anyone was approaching. No one was, so she started rifling through the papers. They appeared to be bank deposit slips, along with liquor shipment receipts. Each one was marked with a big red check mark and a number, written in a looping cursive that Peridot imagined belonged to Rose. Each one _also_ had a big red OVERDUE stamp at the top, a sight that made Peridot cringe.

“Oh, jeeze,” she said in a soft voice, turning the papers over as she went through them. “Stars, how in the red _are_ we?” She knew they were struggling, but she didn’t think it was weeks—no, _months—_ of back payments bad. The pleasant hum in her chest from her thoughts of Lapis liquified into molten fear as thoughts of the club closing danced through her head once more.

_This place can’t close,_ she thought. _Not yet. Not now. Not when I’ve just started to make friends here._ She was so absorbed in the pile of unpaid bills before her she didn’t even notice the house lights come up on the stage and the soft piano melody that began.

“…offered, but she can’t carry a tune to save her _life,_ ” Sardonyx was saying up on the band platform, voice booming into the office. Peridot looked up, startled, and dropped the folder, hurriedly tucking the papers back inside and rushing from the office. She closed the door behind her and stepped up to the bar, looking up at the backlit baby grand piano.

Sardonyx was sitting at the bench with Lapis beside her, looking over music. She was playing a soft melody, the opening lick of some song, as Lapis hummed beside her with a paper in her hands.

“Yeah, I know this song,” she said, tucking a blue lock behind her ear. “What school are you doing this for, again?”

“The Empire City Conservatory,” Sardonyx explained. She stopped playing to crack her knuckles and turn the page in her music. “This accompaniment gig pays quite well, I’ll have you know, but if I have to listen to that sixth grader struggle through this song one more time…” Lapis chuckled.

“I understand. Have you seen this show? This is from a musical, right?”

“Yes, I think it might be traveling right now,” Sardonyx said. “I have a few friends who were playing in the orchestra for its first run last year.” Sardonyx held down a note and lapis hummed with it, matching its pitch. “Good?”

“Yes, perfect,” Lapis said, clearing her throat. She tucked her bare feet beneath herself and sat up straight, lowering her shoulders and cracking her neck. “I haven’t seen it, either, but I know the song. Learned it for fun last year.”

“Perfect!” Sardonyx cried, and started on the same opening chords she had been playing before. Lapis stared straight ahead, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes.

“ _It’s not simple to say… that most days I don’t recognize me. That these shoes, and this apron, that place and its patrons, have taken mooooore than I gave them…_ ” She sat up straighter and Sardonyx leaned forward, her entire body focused in her playing. “ _It’s not easy to know… I’m not anything like I used to be, although it’s true—I was never attention’s sweet center, I still remember that girl…”_

Even more so than her laugh, Lapis’s singing voice filled the club with a shimmering warmth that enveloped Peridot in a way she wasn’t expecting. Peridot sat on one of the bar stools and stared at Lapis’s back, her voice a comforting presence in her skin.

“ _She’s imperfect, but she triiiies… She is good, but she liiiies… She is haaaaard on herself… she is broken and won't ask for help. She is messy, but she's kind… She is lonely most of the time..._ ” Lapis opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, placing her hands in her lap. “ _She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie… She is gone, but she used to be miiiiiiiine.”_ Sardonyx glanced over at Lapis, who looked back, and took another deep breath. She pulled her feet out from under her and stood beside the piano instead, placing a hand against its sleek black cover.

_“It's not what I asked for… Sometimes life just slips in through a back door, and carves out a person and makes you believe it's all true… And now I've got you.”_ Lapis walked the length of the piano, fingers trailing against it, her bare feet accompanying with a gentle _pat pat_ against the wooden floor. Sardonyx removed her glasses and flipped the page, nodding to Lapis as she went. _“And you're not what I asked for—If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over! And rewrite an ending or two…”_ Lapis licked her lips. _“For the girl that I kneeeeew…”_

Peridot was transfixed by the sight before her and the music vibrating in her ears. She was aware of a pair of voices behind her, but paid them no heed. Lapis’s cobalt hair was illuminated as a spotlight appeared on her, but she didn’t seem to notice. The house lights dimmed, and Peridot found the club brought into darkness once again, save for Lapis and Sardonyx on the band platform. Lapis leaned over the side of the piano, eyes closed, arms laid out and hands clasped as if in prayer. Peridot wondered how much of this was Sardonyx’s encouraging, and how much it was Lapis’s own volition.

_“Who'll be reckless, just enough… Who'll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up, when she's bruised and gets used by a girl who can't looooove…”_ Sardonyx glanced up in surprise but quickly went back to her music as Lapis hadn’t noticed. _“And then she'll get stuck—”_

_“And be scared of the life that's inside her…”_ Lapis clutched at her stomach, bowing her head, _“growing stronger each day 'til it finally reminds her… To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes… That's been gone, but used to be miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine…!”_ At the last word, Lapis threw her head back, and her voice _exploded._ The entire club bowed to her song as she throttled the dust and cobwebs from the rafters and awakened the foundation. A chill ran through Peridot at the sound, and she gripped the edge of her stool lest she fall rigid to the floor.

_“Used to be miiiiiiiiiine….”_ Sardonyx had stopped playing in surprise, simply staring at Lapis in shock. Lapis opened her eyes, breathing deeply through her nose, her cheeks suddenly reddening. “Wh-what?” With the sound cut off, the spell was broken, and Peridot found herself panting for air behind the bar.

“ _Lapis,_ ” Sardonyx said, hands in the air, “have you _always_ been able to sing like that?” Lapis’s cheeks darkened further as her forehead, chin and notice suddenly became tinted with pink, and she shrank back from the piano, stepping out of the light.

“Quick, Sapphire, bring the house lights up,” Ruby whispered, and Peridot turned in surprise to see that Ruby and Sapphire had been watching Lapis’s performance just behind her. Sapphire turned and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Peridot turned to her right to see Garnet behind the bar as well, mouth open, watching the interaction between Sardonyx and Lapis in shock. The house lights went up and Lapis cleared her throat, her hands behind her back.

“Uh, I guess so,” she said sheepishly to Sardonyx. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to get so carried away… I just… really like this song,” she finished in a small voice. Sardonyx shook her head, finally regaining her composure.

“No! No, that, that was _perfect,_ ” she said, standing and walking over to where Lapis stood. She placed an arm around Lapis’s shoulder, which Lapis was attempting to escape from. “That was simply _marvelous,_ Lapis Lazuli!”

“It was,” a new voice said, and everyone turned to see Rose Quartz cross to the duo from stage left. “That was _amazing,_ Lapis.”

“Oh! Rose!” Lapis squeaked. “W-were you here the whole time?” Rose simply smiled, tossing her bright pink ponytail over her shoulder as Pearl arrived at her side. Pearl was holding a smartphone and looking mischievous.

“You are so _good,_ Lapis!” Pearl said, holding the phone out. “I recorded you singing from backstage.” Lapis retreated to the piano bench, avoiding Sardonyx’s outstretched arm and sitting. From beside Peridot, Garnet started to clap, albeit slowly at first. Ruby joined in enthusiastically, and from there a rousing round of applause started to sound. Peridot joined in and watched as other dancers poked their heads out from behind the curtain, and Greg and even Steven appeared from the tunnel under the band platform. Sheena followed Steven out of the tunnel, hands on her hips.

“Well done, Lazuli!” she called. Lapis bushed furiously and tried to ignore everyone, but couldn’t stop Rose from sitting beside her on the bench. She placed a hand on her shoulder and Lapis gave an uneasy grin.

“Lapis, I think _you_ are going to be our saving grace,” Rose said softly. “You can sing _and_ dance… you might be just what we needed.” Lapis opened her mouth and closed it again, pressing her lips into a thin line. Peridot watched from the bar, wanting to run up on stage and steer Lapis away from the crowd. Garnet, however, was already on it.

“Alright, alright, let’s all calm down,” Garnet was saying as she approached the stage. She took the stairs two at a time and crossed over to the band platform where several of the dancers had appeared. Amethyst and Bismuth had just entered from the front door, watching the gaggle in confusion. Garnet placed a gentle hand on Lapis’s shoulder and quietly edged Rose’s off. “We’ll discuss this later. For now, we have a big evening ahead of us, and Lapis needs to get ready. I’m assuming you are both all set?” Garnet turned to Sardonyx, who was leaning on the piano. Sardonyx shrugged noncommittally.

“It was a good rehearsal, better than I expected. I would have _liked_ to continue—”

“It’s already almost four,” Garnet cut in abruptly. “Peridot!” The head bartender turned on her heel to look back at the bar. “Can you please get a glass of water and bring it to Lapis backstage?” Peridot nodded in dumb confusion, heading behind the bar to the water tap. Garnet then said something softly to Lapis, who nodded and dashed offstage into the back. Rose was still sitting placidly on the piano stool, staring at the spot where Lapis had just been sitting. Garnet then ushered the other dancers, Rainbow Quartz and Opal, offstage as well with a wave of her hand.

“Hey, Per, what’s goin’ on?” Amethyst asked as Sheena hopped behind the bar. She gave Peridot a tap between her shoulder blades and grinned.

“Lapis was helping Sardonyx rehearse for something,” Peridot explained. She filled the glass to the brim and placed it on the counter. “And she… can really _sing._ ”

“She absolutely _killed_ it,” Sheena added from the back bar. “Who knew someone so small had so much power in her?”

“Whoa, sorry to miss it,” Bismuth said, running a hand through her dreads.

“Don’t worry, Pearl got a video,” Sheena said. “I think she and Rose are going to be cooking something up with this whole singing thing.” Amethyst looked from Sheena, to Peridot, to the glass, and then up to the piano, where Rose and Garnet were quietly talking.

“You, uh, doin’ something with that water?” Amethyst asked, and Peridot jumped and grabbed the glass, heading for the passageway to backstage.

“It’s for Lapis,” she explained, and Amethyst batted her eyelashes at Peridot.

“ _Go get her,_ ” she said, and laughed at Peridot’s confused expression and reddened cheeks.

_There’s no way she knows,_ she thought as she hurried down the hallway and up the stairs. She emerged backstage which was, as usual, a flurry of activity, hairspray and chiffon. She came to the end of the hall where Lapis and Pearl’s dressing room was, and knocked on the door.

“Yeah?” came a voice from within. It sounded tired.

“It’s Peridot,” Peridot called through the door. “I’ve got your water.”

“You can come in.” Peridot creaked the door open and walked into a semi-dark room. The light on Pearl’s vanity was on but Lapis’s was cloaked in darkness, just like the first time Peridot had ventured back here. Peridot pulled the door closed and crossed the room, holding out the glass.

Lapis was curled into her seat, knees pulled to her chest, staring at her dark vanity mirror. She had put her hair up in her clip and had set her makeup out, but had yet to start applying. Her eyes were wide and trained on her reflection, as if inspecting every pore and skin cell in minute detail.

“Uh,” Peridot interrupted, “here.” She placed the glass down on the vanity and stepped back, shoving her hands in her pockets. They sat in a moment of silence, Lapis not moving for the water or her makeup, Peridot standing awkwardly behind her. Peridot glanced up at her own reflection—hair was a mess, freckles were too prominent, eyes too big, nose upturned and weird, glasses dirty. She glanced down at Lapis, who was still staring straight ahead, unmoving.

“You sounded really, really great up there, Lapis,” Peridot said finally, cutting through the tension in the room. “I had no idea you could sing like that.” Lapis said nothing in response, only moving her eyes from her reflection to gazing at her vanity. Peridot bit her lower lip and took a step backwards, starting to leave.

“I’ll, uh, leave you alone now,” Peridot said, when Lapis suddenly stood from her chair and spun around to face her. Lapis was suddenly inches from Peridot, eyes downcast, watching her steadily. Peridot blinked in surprise and lifted her hands in alarm, unsure of what to expect. _What is she doing?_

“Before you go,” Lapis said softly, “can you tie my necklace?” she reached over for the velvet ribbon that served as her choker and handed it to Peridot. “It stays on better when you do it.” Lapis’s intense gaze finally softened, and she turned, crouching so Peridot’s hands were level with her shoulders. She was wearing a simple blue t-shirt with a low cut back, low enough that Peridot could see most of her tattoo. Peridot gulped as she fought down the intense urge to trace the edges of the mark with her fingertips, and instead pulled the ribbon taut against Lapis’s throat. She tied it deftly into a bow, double-knotting it so that the tendrils laid flat against Lapis’s shoulder blades. Peridot immediately drew her hands to her sides, ignoring how the light reflected from Lapis’s dark skin and how her shoulder blades cut dark shadows over her back. Lapis stood to her full height once more, turning around and smiling at Peridot.

_Oh, my stars._

“Thanks,” she said, still standing _very_ close to Peridot. “For the compliment, and the water, too.” Peridot just stared up as Lapis’s eyes traveled over her, taking her in fully. She then locked eyes with Peridot, and reached out and touched her hand. A spark rippled from Peridot’s fingers to her brain as the touch sent her reeling. “Here,” Lapis said, and with a gentle tug, “lift your arm like this.” She brought Peridot’s arm over her head, and then grabbed her other hand and followed the same pattern, bringing her hands together. “Now take a deep breath.” With a hot face and blazing cheeks, Peridot did so, never straying from Lapis’s eyes. “Do you feel that?”

“Y-yeah,” Peridot stammered, feeling the opposite of at ease. “It feels like I’m getting more air.” Lapis chuckled and mimicked Peridot’s post, jutting her chest out as she did so. She laid her head back and took and audible breath, bringing her arms down as she exhaled.

“Take another breath,” Lapis instructed, and as Peridot did, Lapis placed a hand on her diaphragm. “Just like that.” Peridot took the breath but didn’t release it; she was instead very, _very_ aware of Lapis’s fingers against her t-shirt, the tips brushing right underneath her breasts.

_OHMYSTARSSHEISTOUCHINGMEOHMYGODWHATDOIDO—_

“Peridot? You don’t have to hold your breath,” Lapis said, immediately retracting her hand and blushing. “Sorry if I startled you.” Peridot let her breath out and dropped her arms like they were filled with lead, eyes wide. The tension that she _thought_ had eased before was back and was so thick she was starting to drown.

“Oh! N-no it’s fine!” she said, taking a half step back from Lapis. Lapis’s cheeks began to blaze a dark red and she put one hand on the back of her neck, looking embarrassed.

“I-I didn’t mean to—touch you like that,” she said, taking a step back herself. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing it right. Old dancer habit, heh. You get used to people prodding you like that, and doing it to others.”

“Noit’sfine,” Peridot rushed out, taking another step back. She collided with Pearl’s chair and pushed it away, heading for the door. “I’ll just… go now. M-maybe you can show me more later?”

“Yeah,” Lapis said, “sure.” She gave a tiny wave and Peridot waved back, pushed the door open, and slammed it shut behind her, leaning against it in a flurry. She stood there against the door for a good minute, panting like she had just run a mile, trying to stop the fluttering of her heart.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “She _touched_ me.” _And she seemed like she didn’t want me to leave,_ she thought. The small smile Lapis had offered before Peridot so _gracefully_ left had been… sad. Peridot placed her own hand on her diaphragm, right where Lapis had been touching, briefly wondering what it would have been like if her shirt hadn’t been there—

“Whoa _okaystop,_ ” Peridot mumbled, leaping off the wall and standing in the middle of the hallway. “Stop that train of thought _right there, Castillo._ ” One of the dancers exited the next dressing room and gave her a withering look, and she grinned sheepishly. “Just, uh, going back to the bar!” she crooned, and the dancer raised her eyebrows but said nothing as she passed. Peridot rummaged through her thick hair and glanced back at the closed dressing room door, all thoughts on Lapis Lazuli. The image of Lapis leaning back against the piano, eyes closed, singing that last note was burned into her mind. She needed to see it again. _Hear_ her again. She _had_ to. Even though Lapis seemed…. Reluctant.

“God _damnit_ ,” was all she said, before heading back to the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise every chapter won't have the 'Peridot-shows-up-at-the-club-early-and-learns-about-Lapis' format every time! These two just happened to work that way. Once again, thank you for the amazing feedback!


	7. The Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm irresistible you fool... give in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first song the band plays: "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder (https://youtu.be/6sIjSNTS7Fs)  
> Lapis's performance song: "Whatever Lola Wants" performed by Bria Skonberg (https://youtu.be/t1yG6xcYLFI)

_Hey, Lapis! What’s up?_ “No…” _Hey Lap, lots of rehearsal recently huh?_ “No, who says that?” _Heya Lazuli, guess you’re busy this week, huh?_ “No, now I sound like I’m stalking her…”

“ _Ta-daaaa!_ ” A loud voice interrupted Peridot’s concentration and a large, damp plastic cup was placed on the table before her. Amethyst practically threw herself into the seat across from her, a fancy latte with cocoa powder and cinnamon generously sprinkled on top of the foam quivering in her hands. “One iced herbal lemonade twist for P-dot,” she declared, “and one spiced mocha latte for me. Thirteen dollars total.” Peridot’s jaw dropped in surprise.

“ _Thirteen?_ ” she squeaked. Amethyst grinned and brought her cup to her lips.

“That’s why I said I’d treat ya,” she replied, flashing a ten-dollar bill from her fist before stuffing it into her bag. “Man, I’m gonna play at that bar every Monday if it’s like _that._ Sixty bucks per, Dot!” Peridot nodded, her eyes back down to her phone. Amethyst tilted her head. “You writing the next Great American Novel to Lapis?”

“I—no,” Peridot sputtered, tossing her phone down on the table with a clatter. The sound pitched through the small, trendy café and several heads snapped towards the out-of-place duo in the corner.

“C’ _mon,_ ” Amethyst purred, leaning forwards. “I know you _like_ her, Peridot, I’m not blind. And I _know_ she’s been texting _someone_ at rehearsal the last few days.” Peridot looked back down at her phone, sitting in silent damnation beside her tea. After a moment of silence, Peridot lifted the drink and took a sip. It _was_ delicious; sweet berries and hibiscus blended with fresh lemonade with cane sugar all shaken and poured over ice. It was early in summer and already Empire City was blistering—it was making Peridot yearn for her summers on the shore when she was young.

“Sooooooooooooo,” Amethyst continued, placing her hands on the table. “Are you guys, like… hooking up?”

“ _What,_ ” Peridot deadpanned, after nearly spitting out her tea. “No, Amethyst, it’s…. not like that. Lapis actually… hasn’t texted me since yesterday.” She looked down at her phone once more, still silent. The burn of her previous conversation with Lapis – several messages every few hours, always cordial, always curious – was like a scar in her throat. They _had_ been talking a lot more since Lapis’s surprise performance. Several days had passed since then and it seemed to Peridot that Lapis had been spending a lot more time at the club rehearsing than normal.

“Rose probably has her in a cage in her dressing room, getting ready for Thursday,” Amethyst commented, chuckling to herself. Peridot frowned and looked up.

“What does _that_ mean?”

“What, you haven’t heard?” Amethyst took another sip of the latte and sighed dreamily. “Man, this place is _so_ good, isn’t it?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Peridot said, biting her lower lip. “Heard what? What’s going on? I thought you guys were learning a new routine or something.”

“Nah, Dot!” Amethyst cried. “Lapis is going to _sing_ on Thursday. She’s gonna do an opening number with the mics and everything! Her voice is _killer!”_ Amethyst’s grin lit up her entire face and Peridot’s eyes widened.

_Sing? She was going to get to hear Lapis sing again?_

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell you,” Amethyst continued. She took her wooden stirrer and swirled it around a few times in the foam. “That’s what all the rehearsals have been for. I _think_ Rose is classically trained so she’s been giving Lapis private lessons, too.”

“Wow,” Peridot breathed. “I… didn’t know any of that.” _Had Lapis kept it from her for a reason?_ Amethyst shrugged.

“I figured Garnet was gonna tell ya eventually,” Amethyst said, but then her eyes widened. “ _Unless_ I just divulged a massive _secret_ or _conspiracy_ —”

“You probably didn’t,” Peridot said quickly, snatching up her phone as the screen lit up. It was a message from Sadie “I think Garnet just…. Forgot to tell me.”

“Well, we’re not gonna be open on Wednesday so that we can be at full capacity Thursday and through the weekend,” Amethyst explained. “You know _that,_ right?”

“Obviously,” Peridot responded, although she hadn’t known why. “Maybe… it’s a surprise for the rest of the staff?”

“Yeah, probably,” Amethyst agreed. “Don’t wanna let the cat out of the bag too soon, I guess.” An uneasy silence followed and Peridot suddenly found she was no longer thirsty. “Well, I gotta head out. We have more rehearsal today, anyway.”

“Sure,” Peridot said, and watched as Amethyst jumped to her feet.

“Don’t tell Lapis I told you,” the drummer said as she pulled her bag over her shoulder. “If she didn’t tell you – it was probably for a reason. I’m probably technically not supposed to be blabbin’ anyway, so…” she trailed off and gave a small wave. “See ya, Dot.”

“Bye,” Peridot said. “Thanks again for the drink.” Amethyst winked and walked out, leaving Peridot alone and uncomfortable in the coffeehouse. She picked up her phone once more and unlocked it, opening the text conversation between her and Lapis. The last thing Lapis had said, over a day ago, had been a simple _Thanks._ Peridot hunched her shoulders and tapped out a message.

_No prob, Bob._ Funny, right? Quirkishly charming? That’s what she was going for. Peridot gathered her things and stood, deciding to take the iced tea home and put it in the fridge for later. If this thing was at a minimum six dollars, she didn’t want to waste it.

As she left, her phone buzzed – a message. It was Lapis.

_It’s Lapis,_ she wrote back, but with a winking smiley face at the end. _Thanks._

\---

Although the Pride Festival at the university had been the following weekend, tendrils of the festivities still reverberated through the Gay Village. As Peridot approached the club, flags and banners still hung, and there seemed to be just as many people bustling about as the previous weekend. It was now Thursday afternoon and she had only exchanged a few more texts with Lapis since Tuesday.

_Sorry I’m not a great conversation partner,_ Lapis had sent the evening before. _I’ve been busy._ Peridot had to bite her tongue before she sent the message _with rehearsals?_ Before remembering Amethyst’s warning.

_Don’t tell Lapis I told you. If she didn’t tell you, it was probably for a reason._

_I hope it wasn’t a bad reason,_ Peridot thought to herself as she pushed through the crowd towards the club. Some sort of fence had been put up at the end of the road – a police barricade. The crowd around it was so _thick_ that Peridot was forced off into the side alley and scowled. _Being tiny sucks._

“Excuse _you_ ,” she muttered, and turned to find a way around the crowd when she caught sight of bright blue hair. “Lapis?”

“Oh!” Lapis chirped from halfway down the alley. Her hand was on a large door with a faded star covering the dirty window. “Hi, Peridot. Coming in through the back today?”

“Oh, is this the back door?” Peridot asked, walking along the alley to meet the dancer. Lapis’s hair was wet and wild, hanging low around her cheekbones and dripping onto her shoulders. She had a large duffle bag tucked under her arm with a velvet pouch hanging from it, very similar to the one Pearl kept her shoes in. Peridot was thankful that her cheeks stopped heating up as much around Lapis but her heart still hammered against her breastbone like a signal.

_Stars, she is so pretty._

“I guess I have to today, huh?” Peridot replied, gesturing to the throngs of people on the street. “What’s going on?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Lapis said. “I think some places are doing more Pride stuff to keep momentum up in their sales. I mean, we did fairly well last weekend, didn’t we?” Lapis asked as she unlocked the door. Peridot couldn’t help but notice she was using a very shiny, very new key.

“Uh, yeah,” Peridot said, going over the many drink orders she had messed up while she had been too busy watching Lapis. “I think we did okay.”

“It’s a good thing Sheena and Garnet are so fast, huh?” Lapis said, holding the door open for Peridot. They were I some sort of tiny service room that was very dark and very, _very_ small. As the door clicked shut, Lapis flipped a light switch and a bare bulb above them illuminated a small hallway.

“Are we… in the club?” Peridot asked tentatively. Lapis turned to her and gave a look.

“I’m actually kidnapping you right now,” she said in a flat voice. Her eyes narrowed and Peridot stared back at her, her heart beating faster than before.

“Uh,” Peridot squeaked after a moment. “O…kay?” Lapis sniggered and put her hand over her mouth, stifling the choking laughter coming from within.

“I’m _kidding,_ Peridot!” she cried, and she opened one eye to look at the other. Peridot flushed and shrugged, eyes trailing upwards to the bare bulb.

“This looks like a suitable kidnapping environment,” she offered, and Lapis laughed again, running a hand through wet locks. Peridot giggled and joined in and for a moment it was the two of them, standing together in a dark hallway, laughter echoing off concrete walls. Lapis placed her had on Peridot’s arm and squeezed, her laughter ebbing, and Peridot’s cut short as she felt it.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Lapis said softly, meeting Peridot’s wide eyes. Her cheeks darkened and she let go of Peridot’s arm, instead adjusting her bag and looking away. “I think it’s gonna be a busy night, we should get going.”

“Oh—yeah,” Peridot agreed. _Is she blushing? Is she blushing_ about me? Peridot’s thoughts raced but Lapis had already started down the hall towards another door. This door lead into the area with the dressing rooms, already bustling with dancers getting ready. The light was nearly blinding and Peridot had to remove her glasses and blink a few times to adjust.

“It’s already so busy back here,” Lapis said, mostly to herself. “I guess it _is_ a big night…”

“Lapis Lazuli! Peridot!” Both turned as Pearl came towards them, wearing her robe. Her hair was unmade and her face clean of makeup; Peridot wasn’t sure she’d ever seen her like this before. Normally either one or the other was done but as she approached, she looked… _younger_ than before.

“What are you two doing just standing here? Go get ready!” Pearl trilled, crossing her arms. “Peridot, Garnet is going to want to talk to you. And Lapis, we’ve got to get you stage-ready! Do you have your new costume?” Lapis gestured to the bag.

“Duh,” was all she said, and she pressed her lips into a thin line. Pearl mimicked the expression and tapped her finger to her bare wrist.

“Time’s ticking, let’s _go,_ ” Pearl said. “I thought Rose gave you that key so you’d be _early_ not—”

“We’re not technically late, so don’t even bother,” Lapis shot back. Peridot stood awkwardly in between both, eyes flicking from one to the other.

“I’m just… gonna go to the bar now,” Peridot said in a small voice, and twisted around the pair towards the hall that lead down to the club floor. Pearl said nothing, just walking past Lapis with a glare in her eyes. Lapis trailed the other dancer and then glanced at Peridot, giving her a wink.

“I’d really like it if you could bring me my drink,” she said before ducking into her dressing room. Peridot turned on her heel and fled to the bar.

_Is she... flirting with me?_ Considering how terrible _she_ was at flirting, she could never tell when someone was doing it back to her. The slight touch, the wink, the soft smile… are those the signs of someone who is _interested_ in her?

Reality broke in as she exited the hallway and arrived at the bar, facing the band _and_ bar staff. Smoky was spinning on one of the bar stools with Amethyst, Jasper was sitting _on_ the bar with a beer, Bismuth was racing a drink with Greg, and Sardonyx was talking Sheena’s ear off about something. Garnet was leaning against the back bar, sunglasses hanging from her shirt collar, turned towards Peridot as she appeared.

“Good afternoon, Peridot,” she said in a low voice as she approached the bar. “We’ve got a big night ahead of us.”

“So I’ve heard,” Peridot offered, hopping onto the stool beside Smoky. Smoky came to a stop and grinned, eyes big and bright.

“We’ve been helping Garnet come up with new drinks,” they offered, pointing to the myriad of glasses littering the bar. Garnet gave a non-committal shrug.

“We’ll see how they go,” she said, a small smile on her face. The glanced back up at Peridot, smiling wider. “I hope you’re ready for tonight.”

“What _is_ tonight?” Peridot asked, glancing over her shoulder at the doorway to the back. She looked up and saw that the band’s instruments were scattered all over the band stand, as if they had been spending a lot of time there. Smoky opened their mouth to answer but Garnet shook her head, curls bouncing.

“It’s going to be a surprise for the rest of the staff,” Garnet explained, winking to Smoky. Amethyst watched the conversation from beside Smoky, sipping thoughtfully at her cider. She caught Peridot’s eye and grinned, saying nothing. “Now that Peridot is here, I’m kicking the rest of you out of the bar.” The band groaned as a collective but acquiesced to Garnet’s request, sliding off the stools with drinks in hand and heading up to the band stand. Greg had to practically drag Sardonyx away from her conversation with Sheena, who seemed more than a bit relieved to be free of the chatty pianist.

“Garnet and I are gonna do a little _improvisation_ tonight with drinks,” Sheena said as she crossed over to Peridot, collecting glasses as she went. “We may ask you to make some…. Rather odd mixtures. Just don’t question it.”

“Oh… kay,” Peridot said slowly, watching as Sheena and Garnet exchanged questionable looks.

“Don’t look so worried! It’ll be fun,” Sheena insisted, tossing a rag at Peridot. “Here, help me finish up.”

After a quick change into her uniform, Peridot ferried glasses back and forth from the kitchen and dragged the ice bucket back and forth from the well. Garnet quickly made the dancers their drinks and Peridot hoped she’d be asked to send them back, but Garnet took them herself.

As Garnet returned to the bar, the band, dressed in their customary black with gem adornments, started warming up with an upbeat number that sounded vaguely familiar if Peridot thought about it hard enough. It was clearly something the head bartender was enjoying, because she was tapping her foot as she scribbled on her clipboard, mouthing along to silent words that only she knew.

“Sing it, Garnet!” Bismuth called from the band stand. There was a woop and a cheer and Garnet – was she _blushing?_

“ _They can feel it all oooooooooveeeeeeeeeeer, they can feel it all o-ver peo-ple,”_ Garnet sang in a surprising soprano that made Amethyst cheer. They continued their prep work, Garnet in an unusually good mood. It was infectious and soon Peridot couldn’t help smiling despite herself. She seemed to be getting along with Lapis (good for friendship _and_ her crush), she was _actually_ remembering how to make drinks and was starting to do okay with the terrible small talk. _Maybe it’ll be okay._

“Oh, Peridot,” Garnet said, as if reading her mind. “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?”

_Oh. Right. That._

“Er—yes,” Peridot stammered, her good feeling disappearing as suddenly as it had appeared. “Um, can we talk later, maybe? Or like, tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Garnet said. “Whatever you need, Peridot.”

“Right,” Peridot responded, biting her lower lip. She ducked into the back for more glasses, just for a chance to get away from the situation. She had almost forgotten about the mysterious text messages and the possibility of her mother finding her, and now that she remembered, her stomach twisted into a displeased knot. _At least she’s willing to talk to me…_

They had been working for about an hour and it was almost time to open. The crowds outside had thinned a bit, but were still large and pulsing, brimming with summer enthusiasm. Ruby came down from the sound booth to test the mics, while also signaling to Sapphire on how to focus the lights. They were using something different today – a filter that made the light a slight blueish hue.

“Are we ready for the opener?” Rose Quartz called from the stage as she ascended, looking as regal as ever. Her tulle skirt was pale pink and she had a dark top on that cut clear across her shoulders, accentuating her waist and her huge pink curls. “Ready to break some hearts, everyone?” With a signal, Sheena unlocked the doors. A few regulars straggled in, followed by a few curious visitors who were excited by the prospect of air conditioning. It wasn’t quite the waterfall of customers Peridot was expecting by everyone’s excitement, but she assumed whatever they were waiting for hadn’t started yet.

Rose had vanished from the stage and was now beside the band, whispering something to Sardonyx. There was a slight hum, and Peridot realized the mics hanging above the stage and the bandstand had been flipped on. The blue spotlight appeared on the stage, the rest of the stage darkening around it. A hush fell over the small crowd that had wandered in, all eyes glued upwards.

Sardonyx began playing something – something sharp and coarse and boisterous. Bismuth joined in on a muted trumpet, and Amethyst started on a beat that felt more like tango than jazz. The curtains parted, just a bit, and someone stepped out into the light.

_Lapis._

She was wearing a midnight blue corset with intricate white filigree along the top and bottom, the frilliest bloomers Peridot had ever seen, and dark spiked heels that were sure to kill. At her throat was her customary black choker, but it was _different_ – something was hanging from it. It looked like a blue rock, but Peridot wasn’t sure from far away.

There was a collective gasp among the crowd, and more than a few ladies found themselves up by the stage to gawk at the dancer. Lapis glanced over at the band stand, caught Rose’s eye, and then turned back to the audience, placing one dainty hand on the microphone.

_“Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets,”_ she started, eyes closed. _“And little lady… little Lola wants you.”_ She opened her eyes and faced down at the women who were at the edge of the stage, smiling. “ _Make up your mind to have… No regrets… Recline yourself, resign yourself, you're through!”_

_“I always get, what I aim for…”_ she continued, taking the mic off the stand and squatting at the edge of the stage. “ _And your heart and soul… is what I caaaaaaaaaaame fooooooooooor!”_

“Whoa,” Peridot heard Sheena mutter from behind her. “She really _does_ have pipes, huh?” Peridot turned to Garnet to ask her if _this_ was the surprise or if more to come, but found that Garnet was suddenly pre-occupied by a small crowd at the bar. Several people had wandered in upon hearing Lapis’s voice on the speakers outside.

“Who is that?” someone asked as they ran up to the bar. “She’s…”

“Beautiful?” Peridot supplied without thinking. Sheena shot her a glance and nodded, urging her to approach the potential customer.

“Yeah,” the woman sighed. “Her voice is amazing. Has she always been here?”

“Yeah, but this is, uh, her first night singing here,” Peridot explained awkwardly. “Why don’t you stay awhile?”

“I think I will,” the woman said, turning to her friend. “C’mon, honey, look at this girl!”

“Alright, alright,” her partner responded. “Two rum and Cokes, please.”

“Comin’ up,” Peridot chirped, and bustled about making the drinks without taking her eyes off Lapis. She used a bit more rum than she should have and topped the soda a bit too high, but overall, she made the drinks relatively quickly.

_“Take off your coat, don’t you know that you can’t win… You’re no exception to the rule, I’m irresistible you fool…”_ Lapis sang, microphone in one hand, cord in the other at her hip. She shook her hips with every other word and the ruffles poking out from under her corset top shook like a magnificent bird. She looked _flawless_ and her voice powered the room. More curious onlookers popped into the club, and it was then Peridot noticed a new sign on the door. It was backlit with a bright blue light and it said _Like what you hear? Come inside._

“That was Rose,” Garnet explained. “Greg and Steven made it. It’s been a busy week for the Universe household, it seems.” Garnet nodded to the edge of the bar where two men were standing. “Go take care of them.”

“Oh—right,” Peridot mumbled, tearing her eyes from Lapis. She busted over to the people at the bar and was shocked to see a second row of people growing behind the first. Many of the people at the bar were shocked to see that the music they were hearing outside was _actually_ live and several inquired about Lapis.

“Does she have her own drink?” an older woman asked as Peridot approached her.

“Uh,” Peridot said. “I—”

“She does!” Sheena interrupted mid-pour of a Cosmo. “Peach schnapps, Curaçao, vodka and Sprite.” Sheena shot a glance at Peridot and gave a half-grin.

“Right,” Peridot said, turning to the woman. “The Lapis Lazuli.”

“It’s new,” Sheena explained. “Off menu.”

“I’ll do that,” the woman said excitedly. Peridot glanced back over at Sheena and raised her eyebrows in a ‘help me’ gesture.

“Grab a highball glass,” Sheena instructed as she started pouring two beers at once. “Fill it with ice.”

“Okay…”

“One part schnapps, one part Curaçao, 2 parts vodka. One pour, one pour, two pours.” Peridot bit her lower lip and grabbed the bottles, praying that the speed pourers would behave for her for once. After locating the cocktail jigger hiding beside the well, she quickly poured the drink together. It was a bright blue, thanks to the Curaçao, and looked inviting. She topped it with a spritz of Sprite and pushed it across the counter with a stirrer.

“Add a cherry,” Sheena whispered. “Cherries are sexy.” The woman laughed and Sheena winked at her.

“Here you go,” Peridot said, adding said cherry. She glanced up at the stage to see that Lapis had crossed the stage to the band and was leaning against the baby grand piano, one arm above her head. “That’ll be—”

“Here,” the woman said, slapping a twenty on the counter. “Keep the change for _her.”_ The woman winked back at Sheena and quickly went to the nearest table.

“Wow,” Sheena said, eyes wide. “That drink was probably like, twelve bucks worth.” Lapis was back on the main stage now, microphone back in its stand. Bismuth had just completed a mini solo with her trombone and was looking quite pleased with herself, giving Jasper a sly high-five beneath their chairs. It seemed that Lapis was almost done.

“ _You’re no exception to the rule… I’m irresistible you fool! Give in…_ ” She raised her arms above her head and closed her eyes. “ _Give in._ ” She slowly started moving her hips back and forth, buckling her knees together as she lowered on the stage. “ _Give in._ ” Her eyes popped open and they zeroed in on Peridot in no time flat. Their eyes met and Peridot felt as if someone had punched her in the chest. Lapis’s lips were parted just slightly, dark red, eyelids lowered, hair playfully tossed, and Peridot was sold. If someone was trying to speak to her in that moment, she _definitely_ did not notice.

“ _Give in._ ” With one last flourish, Lapis finished, her hands on her hips, head tossed, eyes bright at the crowd. Her chest was heaving and her face was shiny with sweat. The dull murmur erupted into a roar, and the now packed club burst into applause for the performer. Lapis gave a bow and Rose came back on stage, a bright pink drink in her hand. Her diamond ring glinted off the lights and seemed to catch on Lapis’s corset, giving it a dark rose hue.

“You’ve just witnessed a performance _days_ in the making,” Rose said as she took the mic. “Our very own Lapis Lazuli!” Lapis gave a small curtsy, her cheeks glowing with a flush. “We have other great dancers and performers for you tonight, please stay awhile. The bar is open!” Rose gestured towards the back of the room and suddenly the back bar was lit up with pink lights that Peridot had never noticed before. The crowd cheered again and suddenly they were upon the bartenders, so much so that the waiters had trouble ducking in and out from behind it.

“Here,” Sheena said in her ear as she passed behind her, “drink this.” She placed a shooter of bright blue liquid in front of her. “Tell me how it is.” Peridot picked it up and downed it, shivering as the liquor washed over her nerves.

“Sweet,” Peridot said, sticking out her tongue. Sheena grinned.

“Good. I’m about to sell it to that table over there.” She nodded to one of the smaller tables, filled with a gaggle of college aged girls. “They’re making eyes at Lapis.”

“They’re definitely not alone,” Peridot muttered as she looked over at the band. They had started another tune, a bit quicker than the one Lapis had sung, and the lights had gone down. Peridot turned to look at the stage, and was disappointed to find it, expectedly, empty. Lapis had vanished.

“Hey! Is there a Lapis drink?”

“Coming up,” Peridot sighed, giving a half-smile to the demanding customer. “Coming right up.”

\---

The club that evening was the busiest that Peridot had seen it since she started. The crowd cheered for Lapis when she returned to the stage in her normal costume, dancing with the others to one of their group songs, and she was bright red throughout. The band, energized by the crowd, started taking requests, and at one point, Sheena had to bring them a bowl where people could put their requests – along with financial incentives.

Sheena and Garnet adjusted the ‘Lapis’ cocktail throughout the evening and had Peridot taste test them as they went. They also kept sliding her shooters to “keep her warm”, and as she grew from buzzed to tipsy, she found talking to the clientele easier than ever before.

“Garn,” Sheena said, bumping her hip against Garnet’s, “have you been keeping track of the Lapis drink variations?” Garnet snickered and shook her head, cheeks rosy.

“Nope.”

“ _Well,_ ” Sheena said, punching the other’s arm playfully. “We’ll just make ‘em all and see which one Lap likes best.”

Finally, after many hours of chatting and running around, the lights began to rise, and the band was playing something smooth and relaxed to send the partygoers on their way. A wave of fatigue washed over Peridot and she collapsed on the counter, having cut everyone off thirty minutes prior. Her heels ached, her back was sore, her nose hurt from her glasses, her eyes were watering… overall, a mess.

“We’re open again tomorrow night!” Rose was saying at the door, handing out small fliers. “Come see my girls again!” Pearl was across from her, handing out flyers in her skimpy outfit, waving and sighing as people passed. The other dancers were on the stage, waving joyfully, all save for—

“Here,” Garnet said, walking over to where Peridot was lying on the counter and shoving a tall glass into Peridot’s hands. “Take this one to Lapis. See if she likes it. Let me know what she thinks.” Peridot just stared back at Garnet, fatigue completely taking over her brain. _It’s two a.m., why is she making me take this to Lapis_ now? _We’re closed._

“Don’t you think it’s kind of, uh, late?” Peridot asked, looking down at the bright blue cocktail. Garnet grinned.

“We did _very_ well tonight,” she said, gesturing to the register. “We’re celebrating. Besides, we need to settle on a Lapis drink, and I think she’ll enjoy this one in particular.” She cocked an eyebrow as if to add ‘don’t you think?’ to her statement. Peridot glanced down.

“What’s in it?” the bartender asked as Pearl ushered the remaining revelers from the club.

“Vodka, pineapple juice, and Curaçao,” Garnet explained. “Simple and sweet. This was the mixture you liked the most an hour ago. I think she’ll agree.” Behind them, Pearl locked the door with a _clunk_ and spun on her heels, eyes glittering. It was a look Peridot had never seen from Pearl before and wasn’t entirely sure she’d _ever_ see from the elder woman. Pearl glanced from Rose, to the band, where Amethyst had her hands poised over her set, to Garnet’s wide grin, to Sheena leaning over the bar, unbuttoning the top of her shirt and shimmying her shoulders over to Pearl. Pearl winked.

“Who’s ready to PARTY?” she cried after a beat, and Amethyst let out a _woop!_ And started barreling down on her crash cymbal wildly.

Pearl threw her arms in the air and ran her fingers through her hair, tangling it from it’s coifed ‘do and ran over to the bar, leaning over it and pulling Sheena’s face to hers.

“Ah, Rebel Pearl has arrived,” Garnet said with a satisfied smirk. She nodded towards the doorway to the back rooms. “C’mon, go fetch Lapis. She always takes the longest to come out.” She nodded towards the stage where both Rainbow Quartz and Opal had removed their shoes and were talking to the band.

“Oh, right, sure,” Peridot muttered, and walked off underneath the band. The sounds of the drum set dampened from above and pushed her along towards the end, as if encouraging her feet to walk. She was just so _tired_ —how many people had come in that day? Hundreds? Thousands? Backstage was dark and heavy with the humidity with human sweat, and it made Peridot shiver. The only light was the one peeking out through Lapis’s dressing room door, a slight pink tinge. Peridot approached and pushed the door open with a slight creak.

"Lapis?" Peridot asked, peering into the darkened room with hesitation. Lapis was sitting in front of her vanity, slowly untying her customary black choker, eyes lowered to her lap. She was muttering something to herself, lips full and flush, and Peridot watched as she bit her lower lip over and over _and over_ —

Peridot cleared her throat, and Lapis's head snapped up, hands paused at the nape of her neck. Her eyes widened in alarm but she lowered her eyebrows and let her face soften as she recognized Peridot's dark form in the doorway.

"Oh," she said in surprise, leaning back. "Hi, Peridot." Peridot gave a half smile and stepped into the room. The glass felt extremely fragile suddenly, and her fingers trembled against it.

"Garnet wanted me to bring you this," Peridot explained as she held up the drink. Lapis furrowed her brow and tossed her head, beckoning her inside. Her hands started their untying once more, and Peridot’s eyes trailed to the stone she had noticed before. From up close, she could see it was a bright blue gem, sitting prettily against her breastbone at the base of her throat. It was smattered with flecks of gold that caught the light as she moved, and cut into a teardrop shape.

"It's a lapis lazuil," Lapis explained as she removed the choker and placed it on her vanity. Peridot flushed as she realized Lapis had noticed her staring at her neck, of all things. "It was Steven's idea."

"It's pretty," Peridot commented, and she placed the glass on the vanity with a wet _thud_. "This is a congratulatory drink from Garnet," she explained, taking an awkward step back from the vanity. She was now standing right beside where Lapis was sitting, looking at the drink with her hands fumbling behind her back. "She wants to make a new cocktail based on you and wanted you to try this... concoction." Lapis _'hmm'ed_ and pursed her lips, reaching out and picking up the glass. It was late, much later than Lapis normally drank, and Peridot couldn't tear her eyes away from the mirror as she watched Lapis bring the glass to her lips.

She took a sip, thought for a moment, then tilted her head back, downing the rest of the cocktail in a few hearty gulps. Peridot's eyes widened as she watched her taut neck carry the drink to her gullet, a few stray blue drops slipping down her chin and into her collarbone. Peridot took another step back, thanking her lucky stars that she wasn't born a straight man.

Lapis slammed the glass down onto the vanity and suddenly stood, turning to face Peridot in the dark. Peridot gave a small gulp and knotted her fingers together at the small of her back, her button-down white shirt suddenly feeling too tight for her liking.

"It's good," Lapis said, wiping her lips unceremoniously against the back of her hand. Her lipstick smudged against her cheek and she glanced down at the dark red stain, giggling. "Woops. Did you try it?"

"Yeah," Peridot admitted. "Garnet has been working on it all night and kind of... made me drink a bunch of different blue drinks." Lapis took two steps towards her, hips swaying with each step, and took her hand.

"Was it good?" Lapis asked, voice dropping to just above a whisper. "The performance, I mean."

"Oh, yeah, it was phenomenal," Peridot said, her hand limp in Lapis's. She was too busy debating on what Lapis's sudden hand hold meant to notice that the dancer was getting even closer to her, slowly backing her against the wall of the room. Peridot felt the _thunk_ of her back hitting the wall as Lapis hovered over her, eyes wide. Peridot stiffened, blinking upwards at Lapis. The dancer's breath was heavy with liquor, and Peridot wondered just how strong that drink was that Garnet made.

"I'm glad," Lapis said, leaning even closer to Peridot. "I was pretty nervous.”

"You did great, Lapis," Peridot assured her, chest heaving with dwindling breath. “Is that why you didn’t mention it to me before? Nerves?” Lapis smacked her lips in thought.

“Partly,” she admitted after a moment. Something in her expression was saying _I don’t want to talk about this now,_ so Peridot changed the subject.

“Have you been… drinking more than usual tonight?” she asked in what she hoped was not an accusatory tone.

"A little bit," Lapis admitted with a grin. "Helps the nerves, y'know." Lapis was still swaying her hips to a rhythm only she could hear, and as she bumped gently against Peridot's side, any and all sleepiness the bartender had been feeling fled suddenly from her bones. The din of the others celebrating onstage deafened to Peridot's own heart thudding in her ears; the club was closed and it sounded like they had, for once, turned a tidy profit - thanks to Lapis.

"Hey," Lapis said, eyes focused on Peridot's face. Peridot pressed her lips together.

"Yeah?"

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" Lapis asked, unblinking, focused on Peridot's eyes. Peridot blinked once, twice, and then, before one thought entered her head, she said

"Yes."

Lapis closed her eyes and leaned in, putting one hand on the wall beside Peridot's head, and caught Peridot's lips against her own. Their hands were still clasped at their sides, Lapis's fingers curled into Peridot's palm like a lifeline. Peridot could feel Lapis's eyelashes brush her cheek as their lips pressed together, the taste of Curaçao fresh on her tongue. Peridot froze for a moment, paralyzed with the sudden anxiety of kissing _Lapis Lazuli_. But somewhere in the corner of her brain, a voice that she hadn't heard before piped up and said,

_Kiss her back, you absolute fool._

So, she did. Peridot brought her free hand up to Lapis's shoulder, settling against the warm skin, and felt the small gasp as Lapis continued to kiss her. Peridot pulled away, banging her head against the wall, and stared at Lapis with bright red cheeks and round eyes. Her glasses were askew and she slowly removed them, placing them on the floor beside them.

"Oh," was all she said, and Lapis, with lipstick even more smeared on her face and a red haze on her cheeks, let out a giggle that was more of a hiccup, dropped Peridot's hand, and brought both of her hands to Peridot's cheeks, turning her head and kissing her open-mouthed in one smooth movement.

Peridot froze, Lapis's fingers burning against her throat and cheeks. Her fingers were long and nimble and she felt as Lapis used her left thumb to touch the edge of her lips, and Peridot was suddenly overtaken with the desire to have Lapis's hands on every single part of her that was capable of feeling touch. Peridot's knees buckled as her entire body lit up, starting from the pit of her stomach and blazing upwards to the tips of her hair, and she parted her lips for Lapis and buried her hands in bright blue locks. She slid down to the floor and Lapis followed, one hand still on her face, the other on her neck, massaging circles against her heightened flesh. Lapis leaned in between her awkwardly propped knees, sliding the hand that was on her neck down her chest, over her stomach, to her thigh, where she gave a tentative squeeze through Peridot's slacks.

Peridot let out an extremely undignified gasp, but fell against Lapis once more, ignoring her swelling lips and sweating forehead for the heat and taste that was Lapis Lazuli. Her mind raced with a mixture of thoughts, from mild panic to guttural arousal, and she just wanted Lapis, all of her, everywhere at once, touching her skin and tasting her and and _and—_

"Ohmygod," Peridot mumbled as she snapped her head back, lungs burning for air. Reality slammed into her all at once and she pushed Lapis away by her shoulders, pressing her own back into the wall as hard as she could. Her hands flew to her swollen, lipstick-smeared lips and her eyes widened, staring at Lapis in the dark. Lapis, half-drunk, lolled on her wrists and laid her head back, laughing to herself

“Too much?” she said, voice husky. They stared at one another, Peridot trying her damndest to ignore the growing heat between her legs that was pooling into the pit of her stomach and instead _focus._ Lapis just watched her with lidded eyes, legs spread and akimbo, leaning back, almost like she was _waiting_ for Peridot to come over and—

“I-I think you need to rest, Lapis,” Peridot said, using one hand to push herself up the wall. She took a step forward and felt like she was wading through a high tide to a distant shore she could barely reach. She took a shaky step towards Lapis and held out her hand.

Lapis stared up at her, then took the hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. She stumbled a bit, placing a hand on Peridot’s shoulder, but then let go, stepping away from Peridot.

“I’m a shit kisser drunk, huh?” Lapis muttered. She stumbled backwards towards her vanity and collapsed in the seat, smirking at her reflection in the dark mirror.

“No,” Peridot said finally after her heart had slowed down and her head had cleared the tiniest bit. “No, you were… really good.” Her legs quivered with the memory and a small voice in her brain screamed _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!_ But she ignored it. She wasn’t about to take advantage of Lapis, not like _this._

“I hate mirrors,” Lapis said suddenly, turning to Peridot. Her eyes were glassy. “Always have. It’s why I always have these stupid lights off.” Peridot said nothing, just swallowing in apprehension. “I really like kissing you, by the way,” Lapis offered. She smiled. “Let’s do it again?”

“I… yeah,” Peridot mumbled. _How drunk was Lapis right now?_ “I take rain checks?”

“Saturday,” Lapis said, still watching Peridot. “Working on a—a _special_ routine with Rose. I’ll do it for ya. After work.”

“…Really?” Peridot said in a small voice. Lapis nodded.

“It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a promotion at work, which was cool, but now I have a ton more work, which isn't as cool. Also I had some mental health issues that I sorted through March/April and writing took a back burner to those two things. I hope the 6k words I have here make up for it a bit.


	8. The Confirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot finally speaks to Garnet and confirms a date with Lapis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No music in this one! Also, this is the chapter that finally earns my M rating! Explicit self-love comin' your way.

Peridot couldn’t remember getting home. Still vibrating with the taste of Lapis, Peridot stumbled out of the back of the club, waved goodbye to the partiers, and fell into a train car. She sat in silence, staring straight ahead, dumbfounded that what had just happened, had just happened.

When she was finally home she headed straight for her room, dropping her bag by the sofa as she went. She collapsed in a heap on her messy bed, cheeks still red, lips still swollen from kissing Lapis. Kissing Lapis. Hard and fast and pressed up right against her, flush skin contact, so close and so tender she squirmed at the memory. Her aching feet and tired shoulders and sweaty face did nothing for her. Remembering Lapis's smeared lipstick, across her dark cheeks with her shining tipsy gaze, was making her even _hornier_ by the second.

"Fuck," she muttered into her pillow. "Fuck, fuck, fuck you, Lapis Lazuli, it's like, 3 am." Her head was pounding, and she wanted to sleep. She sighed and brought a hand to her face to touch her lips, wiped clean of Lapis's lipstick but still very tender. She turned onto her back, staring up at the dark ceiling.

What would it be like, she thought, placing her hands on her stomach while kicking her shoes onto the floor, if I hadn't stopped her? That thought made her catch her breath and she let out a sigh. She closed her eyes and pictured Lapis, kneeling before her, offering herself up, kissing her and how she'd _let that go_.

_Lapis slid her hands from Peridot's cheek down to her left thigh to mirror the hand on the right, giving a gentle squeeze with each new breath against her lips. Peridot's fingers were still trapped in bright blue locks and she had to stop herself from gripping harder and tugging relentlessly; her entire body was now aflame and she needed Lapis like she needed air in her lungs._

_"Lapis," she murmured as the dancer dipped from her lips to her chin, to her neck, allowing her to speak. "Lapis, I want you to fuck me."_

Peridot's breath hitched again, and she trailed one hand down her stomach and under the lip of her black slacks. She slid through short blonde hairs and under striped panties to settle against her skin, heightened and taught and tender with arousal.

_Lapis smirked against her neck, and slid her hand to Peridot's crotch, where she undid her fly and slid long deft fingers against her skin._

_"I can do that," she whispered._

Peridot didn't need much to get off, she never had. She had had exactly one unsatisfactory sexual encounter in her life, and her fantasies weren't much by her standards. Sex had always eluded and confused her and she had been fine with only self-pleasure when the occasion arose. But this... this was different. As she slid her fingers over her clit, it was like fire bursting through her already, because she could feel Lapis's hands against her. She had been so close, so close--

_Lapis reached up to the junction of her neck and her skull, laying gentle pressure with her tongue, one hand against her thigh and the other in her panties, teasing the skin of her vulva and causing shivers to spike through her. Peridot leaned her head against the wall, her button-up feeling altogether way too tight and biting her lower lip to stop from crying out. The other dancers were running by the door, a piece of wood and some simple drywall separating them._

_"They won't hear you," Lapis murmured against her neck. "But I want to hear you."_

_Peridot huffed indignantly, digging her heels into the floor and wishing Lapis would slip her fingers inside her already, but Lapis smiled and brought the hand on her thigh to her chest instead. She unbuttoned the top three buttons of her shirt, leaving the bow tie in place, and trailed one finger between her breasts. Peridot gulped._

_"Let me," she stammered, and removed her hands from the back of Lapis's head to instead unbutton her blouse. She clumsily stripped it from her body and tossed it aside, leaving a utilitarian black bra and a white undershirt in its place. Lapis turned her palm against Peridot's pelvis and pressed gently against her clit, causing her to jerk and her knees to tighten around the dancer's waist. She let out a wet sigh and Lapis giggled._

_"It's okay to feel good," she purred. She slid her other hand under Peridot's undershirt and cupped her left breast. "I want to do this."_

Peridot's head tipped back against her pillows and she slid her other hand under her shirt, reaching up and cupping her own breast as she went, nipple hard and sensitive. Her belly was exposed to the sticky air of her bedroom and she slowly pressed two fingers inside of her, her palm pressed against her clit still, just like she had imagined Lapis doing. Her heart quickened and the dampness between her legs seemed to spread with every second.

_Lapis inserted two fingers inside of her, so tenderly yet jarring it caused Peridot to buck against her hand and mumble incoherently. Lapis pulled her hand from inside her shirt and placed it on her thigh again, pushing her legs farther apart, causing her waist to push forwards against Lapis's hand. Peridot moaned against the delicious friction, rolling her hips forward and grabbing Lapis's hand to put it back against her breast where she had been before._

_"Don't stop," she said between pants. "Please, Lapis, please."_

In the dark of her room, Peridot had to screw her eyes shut and bite her lower lip to stop her cries from piercing her too-thin walls. She spread her legs and shuffled out of her slacks, pulling her panties down around her thighs and moving her fingers inside her, hips jutting upwards as the pleasure built in her spine and raced through her veins.

"Oh," she moaned, unable to contain herself. "Lapis. _Lapis._ "

_Lapis gladly accepted where her hand had been placed and continued kissing Peridot's neck, sending a wary glance over to the dressing room door. Pearl's voice wafted through, coming dangerously close to them. Lapis pulled away in a haze of saliva and removed her fingers from inside Peridot, instead placing a hand over Peridot's mouth. Peridot in turn grunted in surprise and banged her knees together, shivering in arousal._

_"Shh," Lapis muttered. "I think Pearl may come in."_

Peridot removed her fingers and instead trailed them, wet and warm, against her bare stomach and chest, allowing the heat to build in her groin. Her breaths were now coming in small gasps coupled with undignified moans, and her body was begging for release. She wanted to prolong the fantasy as long as she could.

_Pearl's voice was just outside the door, and then, a moment later, her voice vanished. She had gone into another room. Lapis let out a sigh and turned to Peridot, eyes lidded, reaching down and pulling off the frilly bloomers she wore with her corset._

_"Care to give me a hand?" Lapis said in a low voice, removing the bloomers to reveal nothing underneath. Lapis straightened out Peridot's leg, and leaned over, lowering herself on either side of the limb. Soft pubic hair came into contact with Peridot's leg and the bartender let out a gentle gasp as Lapis grinded herself against it, and it felt so nice and warm and she was-- was she getting that pleasure from her?_

_"Kiss me," Lapis muttered and Peridot leaned up, pulling her forward fully on the mouth, and Lapis plunged her hands back into Peridot's underwear and together they fell into a heap of wet desire, Peridot climaxing with Lapis's name on her lips, whispering 'oh my God' over and over and over._

After several moments of silence, Peridot threw her head back and slid three fingers inside of her, pressing down against her clit and pinching her breasts, bucking against her hand and the release hit her like a ton of bricks, fast and hard and sensual and oh she wished Lapis were really there, riding it through with her and not just as a ghostly whisper on her tongue. Peridot didn't cry her name as she came but she did let out a moan that was a bit louder than she expected. She lay half-naked on top of her covers, thighs and stomach wet, breathing through her nose to calm her racing heart.

"Holy shit," she whispered, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. The vision of her and Lapis fucking in a dark dressing room after a show ebbed as her orgasm faded from her limbs. It was almost four a.m., and Peridot’s cheeks were bright red. “I can’t believe I just did that.” She couldn’t remember having a fantasy quite like that, at least not one so vividly real. _And Lapis had asked her on a date._

Or, rather… a “date”. While drunk. And exhausted. And not in her right mind. Peridot’s stomach tied into a knot as she remembered the glances Lapis had offered. She seemed… not all there. _Did she actually want to go on a date with her? Or was that all the babbling of a drunk burlesque dancer used to flirting all evening?_

“Who am I kidding,” Peridot mumbled, pulling up her panties and discarding her slacks. She rolled off her bed and shuffled into the bathroom, not even bothering to turn the light on. She washed her hands and ran her fingers through her hair, the post coital haze drifting off and leaving her feeling…. Dumb. And… ashamed. She hadn’t gotten off that well in a long time, and her mother’s distant voice played in her mind like a well-worn newsreel. _Ladies don’t… do that, Peridot_.

“Shut up, Mom,” Peridot mumbled into the sink. “It’s fine. _It’s natural_.” But that didn’t stop the knot from tightening and dropping down into her feet.

“ _Peridot, only boys do that. Girls don’t touch themselves like that. If I catch you doing that again, you will be punished._ ” Peridot hadn’t believed her at the time, all of eleven years old. How could something that felt good be bad? But when she had been caught again… no wonder it took her so long to realize she was gay.

Peridot took a deep breath and shook her head, erasing her mother’s voice from her brain. _This always happened, every time_.

“It’s fine,” she said again, a little louder this time. “It’s _fine_.” With a groan she left the bathroom and went back to her room, falling onto her bed once more. She shrugged out of her shirt and grabbed her hoodie, snuggled into it and curled into a ball, falling asleep in minutes.

\---

Five hours later she was awake again, her room stifling with humid air and recoiling at her own smell. She stumbled into the shower and made it a little _too_ hot, stinging her skin in a penance sort of relief. Sadie was sitting in the tiny living room when she exited, watching something on her laptop. She glanced up in surprise when she saw Peridot up so early.

“Good morning,” Sadie said, giving her roommate a half-grin. Peridot shrugged in response and flopped onto the couch, wrapped in a bathrobe with sopping wet hair. “You’re up early. Is that why your phone keeps buzzing?” Peridot furrowed her brow.

“What?”

“Your phone, in your bag. Someone has been texting you all morning it sounds like,” Sadie explained, nodding to the messenger bag at Peridot’s feet. She bent down and rummaged through it, finally locating her mostly-dead phone from the bottom. It had six percent battery and eleven unread messages. One was from Sadie, seven were from Amethyst, and three were from—

“Lapis,” Peridot mumbled. Sadie watched with interest as Peridot unlocked the device and navigated to those three texts. Amethyst's were from the evening before, asking her where she was, why she left early, and how she felt the following morning. Sadie’s was also from the evening before, letting her know she’d be home late. And Lapis’s, well…

**Lapis:** How are you doing today?  
**Lapis:** I’m sorry about last night. I don’t really remember what I did. Are you okay? **  
Lapis:** I hope you forgive me.

Oh, Peridot thought, her smile fading. She… doesn’t remember. Peridot frowned. How was she supposed to respond?

**Peridot:** I’m fine.

“Should I tell her?” Peridot murmured to herself. Her eyes flicked up to Sadie, who was watching.

“Did something happen?” Sadie asked. Peridot sighed through her nose and placed the phone face-down in her lap. I can always tell Sadie these things, at least.

“Sadie… last night, after work,” she began, “I brought Lapis a new drink. We’re trying to create one based on her. And I brought it to her in her dressing room. Alone.” Sadie nodded along, placing her own phone on the floor beside her to give her entire attention to Peridot. Peridot’s phone buzzed, but she ignored it for the time being.

“And…. She was drunk. Kind of. And she kissed me.” Sadie’s eyes widened but her expression remained unchanged. Peridot sat back into the sofa, allowing the information to hang in the air. Her phone buzzed again.

“And…?” Sadie asked, twiddling her thumbs. “How do you… feel about this?” Peridot gave her roommate a half-grin. Good ol' therapist Sadie.

“I… enjoyed it. Very much,” Peridot admitted. “She’s a fantastic kisser. If I had allowed it to, she probably would have done… more… but we ended it and I ran away.” Sadie quirked her eyebrows.

“Ran away? You seem to be here,” she said, gesturing to the room. Peridot shook her head.

“I mean ran away from the _situation_. She did ask me out after work on Saturday, though… but I don’t know if she remembers doing that.” That same voice from earlier this morning nagged her again. She doesn’t remember doing it. She doesn’t want to do it.

“Isn’t after work for you like, two a.m.?” Sadie asked after a time. Peridot shrugged. “Interesting.”

“How so?” Peridot asked. It was Sadie’s turn to shrug, but she grinned.

“Just… interesting. So, what do you do now?” she asked. Peridot looked down at her phone, still flipped over.

“She texted me asking if I was okay,” she said. “I think she might think she… did something. To me, last night. I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you tell her what happened?” Sadie offered. “I think that’ll make you feel better.”

“Yeah…. Probably,” Peridot admitted. She flipped the phone over to see two more messages from Lapis.

**Lapis:** I’m glad you’re doing okay today.  
**Lapis:** I’ll see you later

“She ended the conversation,” Peridot said. Sadie chuckled.

“It’s a text. Text conversations are never over. Just text her back.” Peridot sighed.

**Peridot:** We just kissed, btw. In case you thought anything else happened.

She sent it.

_Bzzz._

**Lapis:** _I_ kissed _you_ , right? And I didn’t do anything else? I was worried I took advantage of you.  
**Peridot:** No, just kissing, and you did initiate. Is that… okay?

_Bzzz._

**Lapis:** Yes! If I kissed you it means I wanted to. I wish I remembered more.

Peridot flushed a deep crimson and placed her phone back down on the sofa. Sadie was now sitting up, elbow on her knees and her hands on her cheeks.

“Wellllllllll?” she crooned. Peridot looked away.

“She said she wanted to kiss me.” Sadie slapped her knee in excitement.

“See? I told you!” Sadie said. “Have some confidence, Peridot. It’s _obvious_ this girl likes you.” Peridot’s cheeks were even hotter now, and her robe was uncomfortably warm.

“Okay, okay,” Peridot said, standing up. “You were right, I’ll admit it. Still don’t know about Saturday, though, but maybe—” Her phone buzzed again in her hand, and she turned it over to open it. As soon as she did, her phone screen turned black and an empty battery symbol flashed. She groaned.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaand my battery is dead, so she probably thinks I’m ghosting her or something,” Peridot declared. Sadie laughed.

“Is _everything_ a disaster to you?” she asked, and a sting shot up Peridot’s spine. Her smile vanished, and she looked down at her phone, eyes lowered. Sadie’s smile disappeared as well, and she jumped to her feet.

“Oh, Peridot, I didn’t mean it like that!” Sadie cried. Peridot shook her head.

“It’s okay,” she said, but the damage had been done. She gave Sadie a small wave and retreated to her room, closing the door behind her.

_Everything_ is _a disaster to me,_ she thought to herself, _because everything turns out horribly._

\---

Peridot found herself alone with Garnet that afternoon. Garnet was sitting in her office, staring intently at a very large, very detailed notebook. Peridot lifted a hand to knock on the door when Garnet said,

“Come in, Peridot.” Peridot swallowed and stepped inside.

“Did you hear me come in?” Peridot asked sheepishly. Garnet looked up and smiled.

“Yes,” she said, and gestured to the chair on the other side of the desk. “Thank you for coming, Peridot. You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about. After the excitement of last night, I wanted to make sure you didn’t think I had forgotten you.”

“Oh, thank you,” Peridot muttered, the memories of her life pre-Lapis-kiss rushing back into her brain. “I, uh, have a bit of a situation, I guess.” Garnet said nothing, simply folded her hands before her and nodded. “I’m kind of…. Estranged, from my family, and some of them tried to get in contact with me. I separated myself from them because they weren’t…. fond of the real me.”

“Because you are a lesbian,” Garnet interjected. Peridot pinched her lips together.

“…how did you know? Not the lesbian thing, that’s obvious, but…”

“Because you’re here,” Garnet said. “The Crystal Temple attracts those who need it the most.” She gestured to the office walls, covered in old photographs and certifications from Empire City. “You are not the first to seek refuge here and you will not be the last. Besides,” Garnet continued, “most young people don’t come to Empire City alone because they want to.” Peridot swallowed and gave a small nod.

“So, um, they got in contact with me,” she continued. “Or, at least tried to. My cousin tried to get in touch with me, but I pretended she hadn’t actually reached me. My mother is very powerful, and very mean, and I’m afraid she’s… looking. For me.” Peridot the let out a terse breath, one she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and leaned back into the chair. Garnet ‘hmm’ed softly and tapped the pen in her hands against her notebook. She looked down at her notebook, quirked her eyebrows as a I thought crossed her mind, then looked back up. Peridot remained still, hands fiddling in her lap, shoulders hunched.

“Lapis will be here in about fifteen minutes,” Garnet stated, standing up. Peridot looked up in surprise. “You should speak to her when she arrives.”

“I—okay,” Peridot sputtered. “But what…?”

“Send me an email with the phone number that contacted you, and the exact contents of the messages you received,” Garnet continued, jotting down an email address on a slip of paper and handing it to Peridot. “I’ll take it from there. If anyone else tries to contact you, let me know. Oh, and include your mother and cousin’s names as well.”

“Sure,” Peridot agreed reluctantly. Garnet tilted her head and gave Peridot a warm half-smile.

“And don’t worry,” she said, her voice softening. “You’ll be okay. We take care of each other here.” Peridot mirrored the smile back to Garnet, a lightness blooming in her chest.

We take care of each other here. The weight of her mother’s power and her cousin’s words lifted, if only by a small amount, off her shoulders.

“Thank you, Garnet,” Peridot said, and the relief was palpable in her tone. Garnet nodded.

“Lapis has arrived early,” Garnet responded, and as if on cue, there was the sound of heels clicking in the dark club behind them. Peridot turned in her seat to see Lapis in the doorway, wearing a little black dress and gold heels, her hair piled high on her head. She was wearing her lapis lazuli choker and had earrings in as well and was wearing demure makeup. Peridot couldn’t stop her eyes from widening and the small gasp that escaped her. Lapis looked just as surprised to see her, and stood stock still, bag slung over her shoulder, blinking at Peridot. The air in the room suddenly became very tense.

“Oh, u-uh—hi,” Lapis sputtered. She looked from Peridot to Garnet, who had stood up behind the desk. “Garnet, the uh, I think all the lights are still off in the control room, can you turn them on? So I can go backstage?”

“Of course,” Garnet said and stepped around both girls to head to the light booth. “Once I’m done and you’re ready, please let me know how that audition went.” And Garnet left the office, leaving the two of them to sit in the afternoon sun.

“Audition?” Peridot asked, rising to her feet as well. Lapis nodded, cheeks pinking as the lights came on behind her.

“For a musical,” Lapis explained, pulling her hair down from its high bun. “Just a small local thing. I already know all the music, so it seemed like a good time to try.”

“Have you done musical theater before?”

“Yes, a long time ago.” Peridot smiled brightly, perhaps too brightly because Lapis raised her eyebrows. Peridot averted her gaze and instead stared at a particularly odd-shaped crack in the concrete floor, wondering if it was a foundational issue or something that happened after the club was founded. It was Lapis who broke the awkward silence.

“So… you never answered my text,” she said slowly. More lights flickered to life behind her.  “About Saturday?”

“Oh,” Peridot replied, “My phone died, and I haven’t turned it back on since I charged it. W-what was it?” Lapis kicked one heel off, and then the other, leaving her a good four inches shorter and with a look of relief on her face.

“I think I said I wanted to show you something when we—when you were in my dressing room last night,” Lapis explained, shifting her bag from one shoulder to the other. “On Saturday evening. After work?”

“You said you…” _Should she say it?_ “…wanted to kiss me again.” Lapis bit her lower lip, eyes trailing to her kicked-off heels.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I did, huh? Is that… okay?” Peridot blinked once, twice, then three times, turning the words over in her brain. It felt as if the processing part of her had frozen and the rest of her brain was too excited to take over the extra work, leaving her paralyzed.

_Oh my stars. She wants to kiss me again. She actually wants to… do that again. It wasn’t a drunk affirmation after all._

“I also wanted to show you something I’ve been working on,” Lapis repeated, stepping towards where Peridot was standing. Peridot was gripping the back of her seat and Lapis tenderly laid her hand over the other’s; not in a suggestive way, just in a skin-to-skin, warmth sort-of way.

“That, um, sounds great,” Peridot finally answered once her brain kicked back into gear. Lapis smiled, leaned down, and pressed her lips to Peridot’s cheek in a quick kiss. She pulled back as quickly as she had leaned in, just in time for Garnet to stroll back into the room.

“Lights are set,” she said, and thumbed out to the club. “You should be good to go, Lapis.”

“Thank you, Garnet,” Lapis said, and she gave a small bow of her head. She picked up her heels, shoved them into her bag, and left the office. Garnet sat back down behind her desk, moving a large pile of unopened mail from one side of the ledger to the other. Peridot remained standing by the chair, her hand on her cheek.

“Alright?” Garnet inquired. Peridot nodded dumbly.

“I think Lapis just asked me out on a date,” she said in monotone. Garnet chuckled.

“The lesbian thing _is_ pretty obvious,” she said with a smile in her voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I commissioned a good friend of mine to do a piece inspired by this story, and you can see it on her blog here: http://luclipse85.tumblr.com/post/175245547617/show-me-how-you-burlesque-jess-su-verants If you like it, you should consider commissioning her!
> 
> Secondly, I started a writing blog: jessafic.tumblr.com. It's slow going right now but I hope to be very active there.
> 
> Also the next chapter is half done already so it should be up very soon. Thank you all!


	9. The Evening Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot go on their "date" while they both spiral down, down down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Casual band song during the shooter contest: "Charade" by Bobby Darin (https://youtu.be/wrkysYWzGeg)  
> Other song listed in the endnotes because spoilers!

“...matching shots.”

“Oh, _really?_ With you?”

“O-oh, no, not me, I couldn’t—”

“If you pay, I’ll do it. Just name a person.”

“O-okay. Uh, with…” the patron glanced around the club, eyes hazy with liquor. Lapis stood at their seat, her hand pressed into the top of their chair, jutting out her hip _just_ so the ruffled bloomers grazed the bronzed metal. The patron, a newly-out youngster studying in Empire City from a rural farm town, was visibly shaken with Lapis’s attention. The girl swallowed hard, blinked around the room, then looked back up at Lapis. Lapis’s gaze had drifted towards the bar, as it often did that evening.

Peridot had heard the conversation from the counter, where she was fighting with the blender for a mudslide. The machine was on the older side and didn’t seem to want to cooperate with Peridot, randomly switching modes half-way through the process. It didn’t help that Peridot wasn’t fond of the milk-based drinks, and this one was a lactose-fueled nightmare. Peridot glanced up in time to see Lapis looking at her, and she offered a small smile, the blender whirring beneath her fingertips. Lapis glanced back down to the girl and Peridot watched as the girl pointed directly at her. Peridot’s smile vanished. _What are they talking about?_

Lapis nodded to the girl and sauntered towards the bar, eyes on Peridot. Peridot handed the blended drink to her customer, added it to their tab, then turned to Lapis.

“Charming people into spending money over there?” Peridot asked. Lapis raised her eyebrows and wiggled her hips, allowing the sparkle from her bloomers to catch in the low light.

“Something like that,” she answered. “A patron has challenged me to go shot-to-shot with you. Are you up to the challenge?” Peridot furrowed her brow.

_“Excuse me?”_

It was Saturday. Already halfway through the night and Peridots nerves were frayed. She had no idea what to expect from this shift, or the “date” she had with Lapis afterwards. When she had confided the confirmation in Sadie, Lars has piped in with the all-so-helpful “sounds like a booty call to me. Who goes on a ‘date’ at two a.m.?”

“Don’t be rude, Lars,” Sadie had said, but Peridot could tell by her expression she had been thinking along the same lines. Was that all she was to Lapis? Someone to sleep with?

She’d be lying if she said it still wasn’t desirable, because sleeping with Lapis was _definitely_ something she wanted to do. But Lapis had called it a date. _She said she wanted to show her something._

“It’s not a booty call!” Peridot had sputtered in defense. But, to be honest, she wasn’t sure herself. Lapis had been acting…. Strange ever since her debut. The fact that she never even told Peridot that it was happening, and then she had been oddly distant in her latest messages. Where before she'd offer long winding responses to questions, she only gave short replies that ended the conversations immediately. Even that afternoon, Peridot had caught Lapis staring at her reflection in the mirror that lined the back bar, looking pensive. _Was it about her? Was she the cause of all this?_ The signals she received from Lapis were mixed and unclear.

And now, Lapis was going to get her wasted.

“It’s a thing people do sometimes,” Lapis explained. “The patron pays for all the shots, and then the competition starts. Whoever gives up first loses, and the patron gets to kiss the winner.” Lapis cracked her neck and turned back to the patron, giving her a thumbs-up. The girl, flushing a deep pink, gave one back. “This girl is _loaded_ and definitely wants to kiss someone. Apparently, she just came out a little while ago and has never kissed a girl, so,” Lapis continued, shrugging into the end of her sentence. “And she chose you to compete with me. Probably because she knows you’ll lose.”

“Hey!” Peridot retorted, but Lapis wasn’t wrong. Peridot was barely over five feet and topped out just over one hundred pounds. Getting her drunk was like getting wet in a rainstorm; _easy_.

“C’mon, it’ll be an easy profit,” Lapis said, waving her hand at Garnet to get her attention. Peridot frowned as Garnet approached them.

“Hey, Garnet, Peridot and I are going a shooter challenge from a patron,” Lapis explained. Garnet raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

“Is this even allowed?” Peridot asked. “It doesn’t seem very smart to have a bartender get drunk.”

“Just duck down when you take the shots,” Garnet said, winking at Lapis. “I trust you both.”

“ _What,_ ” Peridot deadpanned. “You’re kidding.” Lapis gave a feathery laugh and motioned to the girl at the table. Above them, the band started playing something easy and light, relaxing the club goers before the next group performance. It started with a thick bass line from Smoky and quickly drew the rest of the band in, each one of them absorbed in their playing. The main spotlight rested over Sardonyx, who was decked out in a bedazzled sports coat and always had a massive smile while playing. Lapis began swaying her shoulders to the music as Garnet poured out two shooters and the girl approached the bar.

“I hear you’ve challenged Lapis to a shooter challenge with my bartender,” Garnet inquired of the girl. The girl nodded and handed over a sleek black credit card.

“Can I choose what they do?” the girl asked, glancing over to Lapis. Garnet paused in her pour.

“How about I finish these tequila shots to start them off,” Garnet suggested, “and you get to choose the rest.” The girl’s cheeks lit up into a smile. Lapis placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder and the girl visibly shook.

_Oh, God,_ Peridot thought. _Tequila_. She was being set up for disaster. Garnet finished pouring the shooters, then produced two lime wedges and grabbed the rock salt. Lapis removed her hand from the girl’s shoulder and, without moving her eyes from the girl’s face, licked the edge of her palm and dipped it into the salt. Peridot watched in confusion.

“What, never done a tequila shot properly?” Lapis chided. She snickered and accepted the shooter from Garnet. “Never went to a college party?”

“Actually, no,” Peridot admitted, wishing the girl would stop staring at Lapis like _that_. Lapis turned to the girl.

“How about you?”

“I just turned twenty-one,” the girl explained. “I’ve never done one either.” Lapis smiled.

“It’s easy. Just remember: lick—” she parted dark lips and dramatically licked the salt from her hand, “—sip—” she threw her head back and downed the tequila in one gulp, “—and _suck_.” She bit down on the lime wedge and suctioned it to her face, dropping her hands to her waist and sticking out her chest in a heroic pose.

“Whooooooo!” Sheena called from across the bar. “Thatta girl!” Lapis pulled the lime from her mouth with a smack of her lips, grinning. She dropped the lime into her empty shooter glass, crossed her arms and nodded to Peridot.

“Well, c’mon,” she said, and Peridot sighed. She licked her hand, dipped it in salt, and positioned the lime. She took a breath. The patron watched with round eyes, hovering right beside Lapis. Other patrons who were sitting at the bar were also now watching, much to Peridot’s chagrin.

Peridot licked the salt, drank the burning tequila, and then sucked on the lime, which somehow made the tequila worse. Peridot sputtered and shuddered so hard her glasses bumped to the edge of her upturned nose. Lapis let out a snort-giggle combo and covered her mouth with her hand. Garnet just grinned at her suffering underling.

“Oh, God, why did you make me do that,” Peridot said between coughs. “Ugh.” Her head swam momentarily as she stood back up, the liquor already absorbing into her bloodstream. Her fingertips were warm and she felt… odd. She blinked and shook her head, trying to flush out the creeping sensation of drunkenness already on the edge of her brain.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Lapis said. She ran her hands through her hair to fluff it up and turned to the girl. “So, was that good?”

“Fantastic,” the girl said. Peridot took a swig from her water bottle and coughed once more into her hands. _I can’t believe people do this for fun._

“When is your next performance?” the girl asked. Lapis hmmed and checked the clock on the wall behind the bar.

“Looks like not for another twenty minutes,” Lapis purred, putting an arm around the girl’s shoulder. “What shot should we do next?”

“Oh, can I make a recommendation?” Sheena asked, appearing from behind Garnet. She darted over the counter, leaned over to the girl, and whispered something in her ear. The girl listened for a moment, frowned, then gave Sheena a puzzled look as Sheena pulled back. Sheena flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled.

“Trust me,” she said. “It’ll be fun to watch.”

“Okay,” the girl relented. Sheena excitedly hopped to the back bar and grabbed a dark green bottle.

“Noooooope,” Peridot cut in, putting her hands up. “ _Jäeger?_ Are you trying to kill me?” Sheena let out a hearty laugh as Garnet returned to the other side of the bar to serve another customer. The band was winding down and would be coming for their next round shortly, and once the music stopped, patrons normally started flocking to the bar in droves.

“You’ll be fine,” Sheena insisted as she measured out a jigger of Jäeger per shot glass. She added a jigger of peach schnapps from the back bar and a splash of cranberry juice and pushed them towards Lapis and Peridot. The glasses were a ruby red and were deceptively delicious-looking. The girl watched with interest as Lapis picked up the glass and downed the entire contents in one smooth movement, not even pausing for breath. She slammed the glass down onto the counter and pushed it towards Peridot with the back of her fingers, painted eyelids lowered as she looked at her.

“Well?” Lapis said, gesturing to the glass before her. Peridot made an annoyed noise in her throat but picked up the shooter, sighed, and opened her mouth.

The burn was immediate. The sickly taste of anise – because honestly, who _liked_ black licorice who wasn’t seventy-five years old? – coated her throat and tongue, the cranberry and peach schnapps doing little to cut the acidity. The cranberry did lessen the blow enough for her not to gag, but she shuddered all the same, wiping the remaining juice from her lips. Peridot made a face and turned to Sheena.

“What,” she began, “was that?”

“That, my friends,” Sheena proclaimed, “is the Red-Headed Slut. A specialty of mine from a different dye job and a different clientele.” Sheena tossed her low, bright-pink braid over her shoulder and grinned.

“Nice name,” Peridot remarked, pushing herself off the counter. As soon as she no longer had the counter for balance, the entire room began to spin. Peridot yelped and grabbed onto the backbar, leaning back with wide eyes. Lapis snickered from the counter.

“Doing alright over there?” she called in a sing-song voice. The patron was still right beside her, looking rapidly from Lapis, to Peridot, back to Lapis, and then back to Peridot. Peridot shook her head to center herself, fingertips digging into the bar.

_Oh my God. Am I already drunk?_ She removed her glasses to rub her eyes, and then replaced them. The room spun a little less, although everything was still a bit blurry. She must have had a bewildered expression on her face because the patron was watching her with concern.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Peridot nodded meekly and stepped forwards to the counter, grabbing a glass from underneath and filling it with water. She chugged it as fast as she could, and it cleared her head, at least for a bit.

“Maybe we should take a break on the shots for now,” Lapis suggested to the patron. “If we do another Peridot will lose right away, and where is the fun in that?” The girl agreed, and she retreated to her table, where she quickly leaned into her friends to dispel the details of her time at the counter. Lapis’s smile dropped from her face as soon as she turned back to Peridot.

“Are you actually okay?” she asked in a low voice. “We can stop now if you want. I—I don’t want you to get sick.” Peridot pursed her lips and came back to the counter, leaning heavily against it. _This is not how she thought tonight would go._

“I… I can do it,” Peridot insisted after a moment of pondering. “I think.” Lapis’s eyes brightened but her expression remained neutral. She reached out and placed her hand over Peridot’s, curling her fingers under her palm just so. Peridot lifted her face so fast it made her head spin, and she pinched her eyes shut against the pain with a sharp moan.

_Her hand is on my hand,_ she thought. _In, like, a romantic way. Right? This was romantic, right?_ Peridot inwardly chided her inexperience. _You great big clod!_

“Are you sure?” Lapis asked. “I don’t want to make you do something you’re uncomfortable with.” Peridot smacked her lips and wiped at her face. She opened her eyes to respond -- and then stopped.

Peridot was met with an unusual expression on Lapis’s face. The dancer was still looking directly at her, but her eyes had settled on something behind her. Her eyelids drooped, and her shoulders slumped. She looked… tired. _Exhausted_ , even. The shine in her eyes had dulled and she listlessly cracked her neck, tightening her grip on Peridot’s hand.

_What’s wrong with Lapis?_

“Lapis?” Peridot asked in a small voice. Lapis immediately focused on Peridot and gave her head a small shake. The look vanished and a smile bloomed in its place.

“Sorry! I was thinking about something. But you’re totally sure you’re okay?” Lapis asked. Peridot nodded dumbly and allowed Lapis to retreat from the bar and back to the youth at the table. The band had stopped playing and the partygoers were starting to crowd the bar.

“C’mon, Dot, get a move-on,” Sheena said, elbowing her back as she scurried by with clean glasses. “Those shots are only gonna make you slower!”

“O-oh,” Peridot mumbled, her eyes still on Lapis. Lapis was standing beside the girl’s seat, laughing about something, her hands perched on her hips as if everything was fine. It was then Peridot really noticed the bags under Lapis’s eyes, covered in foundation. The lost sheen of her bronze skin. Even her posture was hung, weighed under a burden only Lapis could feel.

Peridot continued to watch Lapis from the bar, but not for the same reasons she had been. This "other" Lapis, the one hiding beneath the veneer of sequins and sex appeal.... it worried her. After several more minutes of flirting, Lapis returned to the bar for their next shot. The girl was watching from the table, her fingers digging in like a lifeline.

"Alright, this one is the girl's personal favorite," Lapis said as she flagged down Peridot. Peridot had been attending to an older couple who explained they had come from a state over to experience the "resurgence" of the club. Only a few days, and already people were flocking!

"Oh?" Peridot said as she walked over. The next group number was coming up shortly, and Lapis had to be changed for it before going out on stage. She was still in her solo outfit, looking nonplussed. Peridot bit her lower lip in concern. "Shouldn't you go change first or something?"

"Nah," Lapis said, waving her off. "This one is called the 'Buttery Nipple' and it's actually—"

"Excuse me," Peridot interrupted. "It's called the _what?_ "

"Buttery Nipple!" Lapis repeated, a bit louder this time. The older couple chuckled from nearby. "It's Bailey's and butterscotch schnapps. It's really good, I promise."

"I'm not a.... Bailey's person," Peridot admitted, sticking out her tongue. She was still a bit wobbly from the Red-Headed Slut and wasn't very interested in washing it down with the chocolate liqueur.

"Sorry, but it's what she wants," Lapis said with a shrug. "This one will go down smooth, I promise."

"Fine, fine," Peridot said, heading to the back bar for the ingredients. As she bustled, she heard the tell-tale click clack that could only be—

"Lapis Lazuli." Pearl's voice cut through the din of the mingling crowd. "Why haven't you gone backstage yet?"

"I'm doing a shooter challenge," Lapis explained. "Peridot's making the next one. We got a big spender dotin' on us." Pearl scoffed.

"I thought you weren't going to do those anymore," Pearl said in a lowered voice. Peridot, still with her back to the pair, slowed her movements, pretending she couldn't locate the schnapps so she could hear. _What?_

"No, you _suggested_ I don't do those anymore," Lapis huffed in reply. "I'm an adult, Pearl, I can do what I want."

"If you get drunk and then mess up our routine—"

"When has me being drunk during a routine ever messed it up?" Lapis said in a harsh whisper.

"What do you mean _drunk during a routine?_ " Pearl said, her voice growing in volume. "I know we're allowed to imbibe during the evening but actually drunk? During a performance?"

"Just like the old days, _M_ ," Lapis said with a sigh in her voice. Pearl made a noise that sounded like a choke and stomped off, but not before saying,

"Get your ass back there, N." And she was gone. Peridot didn't even realize she had completely stopped making the shooters, her hands resting on the schnapps bottle. She slowly turned back to Lapis. Lapis was standing at the bar, her cheek in her hand, twirling a lock of loose blue hair around her finger. Her lipstick was smudged, and her face was sweaty.

"Lapis," Peridot said, returning to the counter, "are you sure you should be taking this shot?"

"I'm sure," Lapis responded. Peridot poured it in silence, placing the glass on the counter before Lapis. Lapis lifted her glass, clinked it to Peridot's still one on the counter, drank it down, and then slammed it back down on the counter.

"If you see Pearl, tell her I'm goin' backstage," Lapis said, and headed off to the tunnel to backstage without another word. Peridot looked down at the second shooter, suddenly loathing the very sight of it. She poured it out into the sink beside the well and sighed.

"I'm done with the challenge," she mumbled to no one. "Lapis wins."

\---

The evening did not get better from there. Saturday was their busiest day of the week thus far – the club was more crowded than Peridot had ever seen it before. Word of Lapis's performance had spread quickly through the queer community of Empire City, and now people from outside the Gay Village were coming to see the show. The pressure on the other dancers was palpable; Pearl seemed like she was one step away from blowing up. During performances, however, she was as cool and serene as always. Lapis... wasn't.

Lapis seemed to forget part of one of the group routines, a routine Peridot felt _she_ knew by heart by now, and although the other dancers managed to save it, the tension in the air at the conclusion was thick. The band exchanged harried looks and Rose, who primarily stayed in the back throughout the night, appeared by the bar to speak to Garnet. Lapis then lost any and all grace she had possessed and tripped her way across the stage and into the back.

When Lapis went over to the young patron to deliver her victory kiss, she tripped _again_ and nearly fell on top of her, startling the girl and causing her to flush all over again. The girl was quite drunk and extremely nervous, and the "kiss" was more of a sloppy hug than anything else. Lapis stalked over to the bar afterwards, leaning on it dramatically in front of Peridot.

"Hey," she said, "I need a pick-me-up."

"You should try water, I hear it's great," Sheena suggested from over Peridot's shoulder. "You don't normally drink this much, do ya?"

"What is with _everyone_ and how much I'm drinking tonight?" Lapis moaned from her spot on the counter. "I just made us a bundle from this girl and her friends!"

"That you did," Garnet said, appearing from the depths of the stock room. Both Peridot and Lapis jumped in surprise. "But I do think water will do you well." She produced a frosted glass and placed it on the counter right in front of Lapis and turned on her heel to attend to a customer. Lapis frowned at the glass but took it anyway.

"Thanks," Lapis muttered. Peridot just watched in silence.

"Lapis?" she said after a moment. Lapis glanced up, eyes half-mast. Peridot was torn between being _very_ into this 'come-hither' look Lapis was sporting and being concerned for her well-being. _Had she had more to drink back stage?_

"Yeah?" Lapis asked. "What's up?"

"...do you still want... hang out tonight?" Peridot asked. She desperately, desperately still wanted to, but with the way Lapis was acting... maybe tonight wasn't the best night. Her eyes locked with Lapis's, who was watching her steadily. Lapis then stood up straight, picked up the glass, and downed the water in two gulps, sighing happily.

"Okay, I'll admit, that did feel good," she said in a soft voice. "And I do, Peridot. I actually think... I think it'll make me feel better after screwing up tonight. Only one more song to go!"

Lapis... was not a part of that last song. Rose had hurried over to Greg, speaking to him quickly with a thick wad of papers in her hands, and had changed the last set. Instead of the group closing act, it was a solo Opal piece, one of her more acrobatic routines they normally only showcased during the week. The crowd was appreciative of the show, simply because Opal was so talented, but confused that the show ended on a weak note. The air in the club had gotten only heavier since Lapis's muck-up earlier in the day. It was two a.m., however, and the numbers didn't lie.

"Closing out this register is going to take some time," Garnet said as she thumbed through a thick wad of bills. Peridot was wiping down the counter, listening to the last tendrils of conversation of the stragglers that remained.

"That blue dancer, she's certainly got some pipes, don't you think?"

"Definitely! But she needs some work I think."

"Ignore them," Garnet said softly to Peridot as Peridot unconsciously scrubbed harder at the counter. Peridot glanced over at the tunnel to the back under the band stand, waiting for that shock of blue hair to signal her time to leave. The band was lounging on the stand, nursing their drinks, being extremely slow in breaking down their gear.

"...and then you pour the shot into the bell, with your thumb over the end part, right? And then you just chug," Smoky was explaining as Peridot tuned in. Smoky was leaning over a music stand, one arm wrapped around their double bass, bouncy curls swept back into a poofy ponytail. They took Bismuth's trombone from her hands and pretended to drink from the wider end, to the laughter of the rest of the band. For a moment, Peridot's chest ached as she watched. She had been at this club for about a month, and although she felt welcome here... she still wasn't _here_. Part of the family. They accepted her in, of course, but...

"Peridot?" a gentle voice said, and Lapis was suddenly on the other side of the counter. Peridot hadn't even noticed her appear from the back. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes!" Peridot squeaked and hurried into the back to get her bag. She darted past Sheena, who was filling out some closing paperwork, and grabbed her bag from its hook.

"Is this the big date?" Sheena asked with a smile. Peridot blinked.

"How did you—"

"Don't worry about it," Sheena said, waving it off. "What're you two gonna do at two a.m. on a Saturday night?" Peridot pursed her lips and shrugged.

"I don't... actually know! It was Lapis's idea."

"Well, don't stay up too late," Sheena said, giving Peridot a wink. Peridot felt the heat rush to her cheeks as she slung her bag over her shoulder and darted out of the office. Lapis was waiting for her by the bar, and the pair escaped out the door without anyone else noticing.

"Looks like they'll be partying for a while," Lapis said as they strolled out into the street. Her face was clean of make-up and she seemed in much better spirits than earlier. "We're going to my apartment." Peridot's heart thudded in her chest.

_Oh, my God._

"Is it far?" Peridot asked. Lapis shook her head.

"Nah, it's about thirty minutes. Just outside the Gay Village, actually." They commuted in a weird silence, their arms brushing as they walked, Lapis clearly lost in thought. Her velvet bag containing her shoes made a _cl-clunk_ against her shoulder as she walked. It was a bit chilly that evening, and Peridot wished she had brought more than her worn hoodie to cut through the wind.

"Lapis?" Peridot said after several minutes of silence. They were coming up on a very tall apartment building set back behind a row of pretty townhouses. "Were you... okay tonight?"

"Me?" Lapis asked with a laugh. "I was just fine."

_She's lying._

Peridot didn't press the issue. Her cheeks were too hot, and her body was too excited about the prospect of being alone with Lapis. She said she wanted to kiss me again. _Is that what's going to happen? Is more going to happen?_ The idea of sex with Lapis--it made her shiver.

Lapis unlocked the outer door and lead Peridot into a dark entry hall with a bare bulb illuminating a row of unimpressive mailboxes. A tiny elevator lit up the hall as its doors opened, and the two stepped inside. Lapis hit the seventh floor, and they rode upwards.

"It's not the best place," Lapis admitted as the floors flashed by. "But it's cozy." They stepped off and stumbled down the hall, Lapis gently slipping her fingers between Peridot's and tugging her along. They stopped at a door towards the end of the hall, and Lapis fished out her keys from her purse. As she did so, Peridot's eyes wandered, and she caught sight of a piece of paper taped to the door underneath the apartment number. Two words were neatly printed, one above the other.

  1. ISHIKAWA
  2. LAZULI



Names. They were names. Every door had the same set-up, with the first initial and last name printed on a slip of paper taped beneath the apartment number. _N. Lazuli. That had to be Lapis_. This was now the third time the letter 'N' was associate with Lapis; first the TubeTube video, then with Pearl at the club, and now her front door.

"Here we are," Lapis announced, and the door opened to a small living room. They were facing the back of a small sofa, which was itself facing a wall-mounted television set and a record player with a large speaker set-up. Off to the left was a closed door. Off to the right was a tiny kitchen, crammed with appliances, and another door. Various tapestries hung from the walls and there was an overstuffed armchair in the corner covered in clothes. "Home sweet home." Lapis clicked the door shut behind them and lead Peridot by the hand to the sofa, dropping her bag behind it. Peridot did the same, eyes following Lapis as she went into the kitchen and returned with a straight-backed wooden chair, which she placed on the floor between the sofa and the record player. She then crossed back to Peridot, who was standing awkwardly beside the sofa.

"Come," Lapis said in a low voice right beside her ear. The sound was like honey, seeping into Peridot's pores like a glaze. Peridot swallowed and muttered "okay" as she was guided towards the kitchen chair. Lapis pushed her down, smiled, and whispered,

"I'll be right back." She then disappeared into the room off to the left, leaving Peridot alone in the apartment. Another shiver traveled up her spine and she took the opportunity to take in more of her surroundings.

The tapestries covered beige, barely-finished drywall, and were hung with big shiny staples. They offered much-needed color to the room, and Peridot imaged it'd look much drearier without them. The turntable was an older model, and it sat upon a square bookshelf stuffed with LPs of all kinds. The mounted TV was unplugged and looked as if it had been gathering dust, unused, for some time.

_I wonder if this stuff belongs to Lapis, or M_ , Peridot thought. Lapis seemed like the type to have a record player, if she were being honest, but Peridot wasn't sure of anything about Lapis anymore. She was an ever-changing enigma, a code she couldn't quite break. Although...

Maybe she'd get the key tonight.

"Are you comfortable?" Lapis's voice pulled her from her thoughts. She had returned to the living room, barefoot, her hair pulled down and playfully tousled around her flushed face. She was wearing a silk blue robe, similar to the one she wore at the club over her outfit, but this one had midnight-blue flowers edged in white decorating the body and sleeves. She had tied the belt into a large, looping bow on her left hip, which caused the robe to cut in at her waist and mimic her curvy shape. Peridot took in a sharp breath, a sudden warmth growing in her groin.

_OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!_

 “This is…. something I’ve been working on with Rose,” Lapis explained in a low voice. She dimmed the lights in the living room and walked over to the record player, setting the needle. Peridot, still sitting ramrod straight in the dining room chair, just crossed her ankles. Lapis pushed a button on the top of the speaker, and spun on her bare heel, hands on her hips, facing Peridot.

“Are you ready?” Lapis purred, and Peridot nodded stiffly. The sound of violin strings pulled taught filled the dark room, and a male voice curled from the speakers as Lapis started untying her robe.

“ _Birds flying high… You know how I feel… Sun in the skyyy… You know how I feel…_ ” Lapis untied the bow at her waist and let the strips of fabric fall to her sides, allowing the robe to open just a bit in the front. She was wearing something akin to a one-piece swimsuit, except in much thinner, silkier looking fabric, cut high on her thighs in a scalloped edge. She tossed her head back, hair still sweaty from the club. “ _Reeds driftin’ on by…. You know how I feel… It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life, for meeeeee…._ ” Lapis lifted her arms above her head, pointed her toe out, and opened her mouth to sing along to the last line:

“ _And I’m feeeeeeeelin’…. Gooooooood…_ ” The music roared to life, a full brass band backing the singer’s vocals, and Peridot gulped loudly. Lapis sauntered forwards dropped her arms and allowed the robe to fall to the floor in a heap. She placed her hands on her lips and smirked down at Peridot, eyes dark and ravenous. Peridot’s jaw dropped so hard she was sure she dislocated it with the motion.

Lapis had a dark blue one-piece suit on, with scalloped edges and a deep V at her chest. It ended in small ruffles in her shoulders. It was simple, nothing like the ornate corset she wore as a burlesque dancer, but it was somehow even more beautiful. Lapis wore nothing else save for her black choker, gem-less, tied in a bow at her neck. She did a small, wobbly twirl and showed off the corset back, done up with gold ribbon and tied into a neat bow at the small of her back. The scalloped edges cut high into her backside as well, and Peridot drew a breath in at the sight of Lapis’s toned butt.

_Oh my God_ , she thought, gripping the edges of the chair. _Oh my God. She’s gorgeous._

“What do you think?” Lapis asked, giving her butt a small wiggle before turning back around. Peridot continued to stare until she blurted out the first word that came to mind.

“ _Hot_ ,” Peridot said in a voice that didn’t sound like her own. She swallowed and felt her face heat up immediately. Lapis giggled and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“This used to be Rose’s specialty,” Lapis said, taking a step towards Peridot. She swayed her hips back and forth, back and forth, in a hypnotic rhythm in time with the music playing around them. Peridot just watched in awe. “Back when she was known as _Pink Diamond_.”

“O-oh,” Peridot mumbled, unsure of what that meant. Lapis just grinned and started pulling the right strap of the one-piece down, stepping slowly towards Peridot as she did.

“Peridot,” Lapis said in a commanding tone, causing the Peridot’s eyes to widen. Lapis daintily slid one strap down onto her arm, letting it settle as she did the other one. Her eyes were locked on Peridot, lids at half-mast. Lapis crossed the room and was now leaning down over Peridot, hands on her shoulders, hovering right at her lips.

“Let me know what you think,” Lapis whispered, and she tucked her hand under Peridot’s chin to tilt her head up just enough to steal a chaste kiss. Peridot sat still, surprised at the action but not unpleased, and watched as Lapis backed into the center of the room once more. She slowly moved the opposite strap down her arm, revealing both shoulders and her collarbone. She ran a hand through her messy hair and turned to the side, raising up on her toes before dropping into a dramatic squat and popping back up. Her movements were fluid and graceful, even for someone who must have been tired after dancing all evening. She turned so her back was to Peridot and she grabbed the ends of the ribbon in her fingertips, slowly pulling the bow out and loosening the corset back. Peridot rubbed her feet along the floor, feeling like her bones were Jell-O.

Lapis then reached up and pulled the straps that were already off her shoulders off her arms all together, and slowly peeled the top portion down, revealing her back tattoo in full in the dimmed light. Her back was still to Peridot and she swayed her hips again, humming along to the song.

“ _Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean don’tcha know! Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean… Sleep in peace when the day is done, that’s what I mean…_ ”

“ _And this old world is a new world, is a bold world…_ ” Lapis sang with the music, “ _for meee…_ ” As high-pitched trumpets took over the melody for a few moments, Lapis turned slowly, pulling the ribbon out of the corset back as she went. Peridot gasped softly as she was met with the sight of a half-naked Lapis Lazuli. She had pulled the one-piece down over her chest, so it was down to her belly button, and two small round breasts glinted in sweat from the overhead light. Lapis trailed her fingers up her solar plexus, between her breasts and up to her collarbone, sauntering towards Peridot like she had before.

“Am I doing good?” she asked in a voice near a whisper, smiling down at Peridot. Peridot nodded, her stomach dropping into the floor as she did.

_Oh my God_ , Peridot thought again, and she banged her knees together to keep her crotch in check. She was already uncomfortably damp and still wasn’t totally sure how this night was going to end, but she had a _very_ good inkling it was going somewhere good and fast. All the concern and tension from the club melted into the floor.

Lapis leaned forward, placed a hand on Peridot’s shoulder, and whispered in her ear,

“ _I want to fuck you._ ” Peridot swallowed thickly in response. That feeling at the bottom of her stomach started to turn sour.

_Do I really want to sleep with Lapis?_ She thought, and then gave her head a small shake. _Yes I do. But like this?_ Lapis’s strange behavior from the club came rushing back in an instant, jus when she thought she had finally released it.

_…Why is Lapis doing this?_ Peridot blinked and brought herself back to the present, noticing that Lapis had taken a few steps away from her and was peeling more of the one-piece off. Her arousal had turned to anxiety and she gripped the edges of the seat so tightly she knew her knuckles were turning white.

_I have to stop this. I have to know why_.

“Lapis?” Peridot squeaked, swallowing to regain moisture in her throat. “Lapis?”

“Hmm?” Lapis said, glancing up. The upbeat music was still playing in the background, but it felt… _wrong_ , somehow. Peridot took a deep breath.

“Why?” she asked in that same squeaky voice. She grunted and cleared her throat, sitting up straighter and ignoring the heat in her groin. “Why are you doing this?” Lapis’s face fell and she dropped her arms, still standing half-nude.

“Doing what?” she asked, her voice laced with a tint of anger. “I’m… doing a striptease for you.”

“I got that,” Peridot said, exasperated. “But why?” Lapis furrowed her brow and crossed her arms under her breasts.

“Because… I wanna have sex with you,” Lapis answered as if she were commenting on the weather. “Do you… not want to? I thought—”

“I definitely want to,” Peridot said, still gripping the edges of the chair. “I really, _really_ want to. I just don’t get… why. Why now? Why are you… doing this dance for me?” The song came to an end behind them, and the sudden lack of sound made the room feel ten times colder.

After a moment of silence, Laps gave out a weak chuckle that turned into a strained laugh. She covered her face in her hands and shook her head, her mussed hair going every which way.

“You probably think I’m crazy, huh?” Lapis finally said after a few more moments of laughter. She stepped towards Peridot and sat down on the carpet, hands in her lap. Peridot shook her head.

“No, I—”

“I—I don’t know how to function like a _person_ , Peridot,” Lapis interjected, cutting Peridot off. She was staring down at her hands folded in her lap, still half-dressed, looking dejected. “I don’t. All I know how to do is drink and pick fights and lose friends.” Peridot pursed her lips and let go of the chair, sliding onto the carpet in front of Lapis. Lapis sniffed and wiped at one cheek with her hand, still avoiding Peridot’s gaze.

“I really like you,” Lapis continued in a soft voice. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to… I don’t know. Get _you_ to like _me_.” Peridot said nothing, simply kneeling before her. In all the texts they had exchanged, even after opening up about her fears to Lapis, she had never gotten Lapis to open up to _her_. It was jarring but relieving all at once.

“But, I don’t know _how_. I don’t know how to be a romantic person,” Lapis continued in that same defeated voice. She let out a sigh and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “I just know how to get people to sleep with me, I guess.” Lapis pulled one strap of the one-piece back up over her shoulder, sighing deeply. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not,” Peridot said, turning her head to catch Lapis’s eyes. Lapis finally glanced up, eyes shimmering with tears. “You’re not an idiot. I do like you.” Lapis smirked.

“Everyone likes me,” she muttered darkly. Peridot huffed.

“No, I mean—I _like_ you. Like a fifth grader likes another fifth grader. Y’know? I have… romantic feelings for you,” Peridot explained slowly. She removed her glasses and placed them on the floor so there was nothing between them. “And yes, you are very beautiful and I, as a lesbian, am objectively attracted to you. But,” Peridot paused, holding a hand up beside her face, “I’m more attracted to you after getting to know you. Your sense of humor is pleasant, and your company is enjoyable. I want to know you better.” Lapis wiped her eyes and quirked her eyebrows.

“Sometimes you talk like a scientist,” she commented. “Or a robot.” It was Peridot’s turn to chuckle.

“I’m two-thirds of the way through a degree in mechnical engineering,” she admitted. Lapis smiled.

“I have a BA in Linguistics.” Peridot furrowed her brow. Lapis winked.

“You do not,” Peridot said, and gently pushed on Lapis’s shoulder with a laugh. Both of them sat there on the carpet, laughing in the dark, cheeks flushed from exhaustion and arousal. The laughter died into the quiet and they remained there, knees together, watching each other. Peridot slowly lifted one hand and placed it on Lapis’s cheek, cupping it slightly. Lapis closed her eyes and leaned into the gesture, a small smile on her face. She opened one eye and focused on Peridot, just in time to see Peridot lean in and press a gentle kiss to her lips. It was slow and sensual, nothing like the hurried kisses of last time. Peridot took her time tasting Lapis, feeling Lapis, letting her scent surround her in a protective bubble. Her hand trailed from her cheek to the back of her neck, through her hair, wild and bright cobalt blue as always. Lapis pulled away and opened her eyes.

“I like you too,” she said in a whisper. “You’re so unlike anyone else I’ve ever been interested in. You’re smart, and funny, and caring.”

“I’m not beautiful like you,” Peridot whispered back. Lapis shook her head.

“You are the most beautiful,” she said, and drew Peridot into another kiss. “I’ve never seen anyone like you. I’ve never seen someone so obviously brilliant struggle so much with drinks.” Peridot laughed, and Lapis snorted, their foreheads pressed together. The sour feeling faded from Peridot’s stomach, and a different feeling took its place. One that was filled with warmth, like sunlight breaking through cloud cover. It blossomed up through her body into her chest, filling her up with joy.

_I am in love with her._

“Hey Lapis?”

“Mm?”

“…I’m still really horny.” Lapis snorted again and placed both of her hands on Peridots cheeks, shoulders heaving with suppressed laughs. Peridot’s face glowed with embarrassment, but she laughed too.

_Is this it?_ she wondered as Lapis gazed at her. _Are we here?_

“I am too, actually,” Lapis said, pressing her forehead together with Peridot’s once more. “How about we take care of this—if you want to!—and then we can—"

“Talk? Tomorrow?” Peridot interrupted. If she was going to be something with Lapis Lazuli, she had to break through this outer shell. _And she was starting to get close._ “Is that okay?”

“…yes,” Lapis finally agreed. She looked down at the floor, eyes closed. “You want to know why I was a mess tonight, huh?”

“I just want to know _you_ ,” Peridot said. “If you’ll let me.” Lapis locked eyes with Peridot again, and nodded into the evening silence. Slowly, Peridot leaned forward awkwardly, unsure of what to do now— _kiss her?_ _Hug her?_ —but Lapis met her half way and they dissolved all words into kisses. It only took a few moments for the kisses to become heated and needy, and Lapis threaded her fingers through blonde locks and turned her head to deepen the kiss, prying Peridot’s lips open with her tongue to explore. She pulled Peridot flush against her and Peridot was suddenly _very_ aware that was she leaning against her naked breasts. Peridot pulled back, startled.

“Should we, um,” Peridot mumbled, gesturing vaguely to the room around her. She couldn’t imagine having sex on this rough carpet would be any fun. Lapis grinned and got to her feet, pulling Peridot up with her. She gestured to the loveseat Peridot had noticed earlier, still with a blanket draped over it.

“C’mon,” Lapis said, tugging Peridot by her wrist. Peridot followed, and Lapis pushed her by her shoulders to sit on the sofa, gently pushing her down onto her back while sitting on the edge.

“Have you ever had sex before?” Lapis asked, brushing the hair out of Peridot’s sweaty face. Peridot pinched her lips into a thin line.

“I’ve… had some experiences,” she said slowly. “They… weren’t amazing.” Lapis smiled.

“I’ve been told I’m pretty skilled,” she said, and leaned down to place a gentle kiss to Peridot’s chin. She started kissing a trail down her face, to her neck, where she sucked gently while running her hand through Peridot’s hair. Peridot gasped in surprise and delight, her knees banging together awkwardly. In one fluid movement Lapis swung herself up onto the sofa and straddled Peridot, still wearing half of the one-piece outfit.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now,” Lapis admitted from her spot on Peridot’s neck. “Is it okay if we go slow?”

“Oh _God_ yes,” Peridot said in a low voice, and Lapis sniggered into Peridot’s flesh. She brought her fingers to the hem of Peridot’s shirt and slowly wiggled under it, trailing up Peridot’s stomach in light touches. Peridot gasped and put her hands over her mouth, surprised at the guttural sound she had just made.

“It’s okay to be vocal,” Lapis said, lifting her head and focus on Peridot. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m just not—not used to it,” Peridot said. Lapis gave a half-smile.

“That’s okay,” she said, and kissed the corner of Peridot’s lips. Peridot let her hands fall to her sides, unsure of what to do. “If you don’t know what to do with these,” Lapis said, nudging her knee into her right hand, “you can touch me, if you want.”

“Like…” Peridot’s eyes glanced to Lapis’s still-exposed breasts. Lapis hummed in approval.

“Please.” Peridot nodded and reached up with her left hand, gently cupping the underside of Lapis’s breast. It was smooth to the touch, like satin, and her areolas were surprisingly dark. Lapis closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.

“Use your nails,” she instructed, and Peridot did, lightly scraping her nails against her breast and her chest. It was Lapis’s turn to gasp, eyes shut tight, and she slowly lowered her hips against Peridot’s left thigh, pressing up against it with another gasp. She edged her knee up between Peridot’s legs and laid some much-needed pressure against her clit through her shorts, causing Peridot to let out a small “oh!” in surprise and squeezed Lapis’s breast. Lapis let out a moan that sounded like a song; lyrical and low, and _hot._

“Feels good, huh?” Lapis said in a breathy voice as Peridot said nothing, just letting harsh breathing speak for her. Lapis then sat up, putting her full weight on Peridot’s waist, much to her enjoyment, and plunged her hand behind the sofa cushion. Peridot watched in confusion as she rooted around in there for a minute before pulling out a small black bottle in triumph.

“It’s water-based,” Lapis explained, giving the bottle a small shake. She uncapped it poured a small amount into her palms, rubbing her hands together. She recapped it and stashed it back under the couch. “Don’t worry, I put it there earlier. It’s not like, the emergency lube we keep stashed here.”

“Did I have a l-look on my face?” Peridot managed to ask between shots of pleasure up her spine. Lapis grinned.

“You looked slightly horrified.”

“I-I’m a trained scientist. I’m all about k-keeping— _ah!_ ” Peridot groaned as Lapis slipped her lubed hand under the hem of her shorts and trailed her fingertips down the inside of her thigh. She could feel the lube mixing with the slickness of her skin, tingling in a cool rush. Peridot leaned her head back against the sofa edge, her hands settled on Lapis’s waist, breaths coming in haggard gasps as Lapis slowly teased her under her shorts. Lapis used her other hand to pull Peridot’s shirt straight off over her head, discarding it across the room, revealing just a simple bra over freckled breasts.

“God, you’re cute,” Lapis mumbled, using her free hand to roam Peridot’s chest. Peridot opened one eye, licking her lips, and almost came on the spot from the look Lapis was giving her. Eyes lidded, lips flush, cheeks dark, she looked absolutely smitten and endeared by her. Peridot opened both eyes wide.

Lapis leaned down and kissed her then, long lashes brushing her cheeks as she did so. Peridot brought one hand to her neck, trying to steady her hips that wanted to buck up against the other, to start that friction she craved. The silence was broken at times by footsteps and voices out in the hall or sirens outside, but nothing broke Peridot’s concentration like that weird scratching coming from near the door. It almost sounded like—

“—and then he just like, shoved me? And I shoved him back? And he tried to _punch_ me, Meg. _Punch. Me._ Can you _believe_ that?” A voice entered the apartment as the door swung open. Lapis immediately broke the kiss, shoving one hand over Peridot’s mouth and removing the other from her shorts, much to her chagrin. She sat up, looking over the back of the sofa towards the door. The voice belonged to Sheena.

“Oh! Hey, L,” Sheena said as she entered the apartment, keys in hand.

“Hey,” Lapis said casually, hand still clamped over Peridot’s mouth. From where they were on the sofa, Sheena could only see the top half of Lapis – although Lapis was still very much nude from the waist up. Another voice entered the room.

“First of all, I _can_ believe it because it’s you, and second of all, I didn’t expect you to be here, Lapis.” Peridot used her hand to over her eyes. _Pearl. It was Pearl. Pearl is Lapis’s roommate. M. Ishikawa._

“Oh, y’know,” Lapis said, shrugging. “My plans weren’t really solid.”

“It’s four a.m.,” Sheena said, crossing the room towards the couch as Pearl locked the door behind them. “Are you rubbing one out on the couch again?”

“Oh, no, not today,” Lapis said cheerfully. “Peridot is here. Give ‘em a wave, Peridot.” Lapis removed her hand from Peridot’s mouth and Peridot sheepishly lifted one arm into the air, so her hand could be seen over the sofa back.

“H-hey,” she called weakly. Her face was beet red and she was absolutely _mortified_.

“Did you put a blanket down?” Pearl called from the kitchen as she put something in the fridge. Sheena remained where she was, hands on hips, hair piled high on her head and looking as exhausted as Peridot now felt.

“Yes, _Mom_ ,” Lapis said, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. “But we’ll move to my room.”

“Probably for the best,” Sheena said as Pearl returned to her side. “I think Peridot might die if you have sex out here knowing we’re here and honestly? I don’t want to train another bartender.”

“Fair enough,” Lapis said. She gave a small wave to the pair as they ducked into Pearl’s room with a _thunk._ “Night!” The apartment finally returned to silence.

“Ohmystars,” Peridot breathed, putting her hands over her eyes again. “I can’t believe this just happened.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Lapis said easily, sliding off Peridot and onto the floor. “I’ve walked in on them like a million times, this is just payback.” Lapis nudged Peridot’s foot and Peridot reluctantly sat up, feeling quite dazed. “So, we’re just gonna move on in there, okay?” Lapis said, and eagerly grabbed Peridot’s hand and tugged her through the door to their left, flicking the living room light off as she went. “We’ll clean this in the morning.” Peridot sighed and allowed herself to be tossed onto Lapis’s duvet, which had a gorgeous teal and blue mandala pattern on it. Lapis closed her bedroom door and hit a small switch, which illuminated a set of fairy lights that went around the top of her walls. Lapis then _finally_ completely removed the body suit, tossing it aside and hopping onto the bed, straddling Peridot’s hips nude.

“Now,” she purred, slipping one hand into Peridot’s shorts, “where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis's stripping song: "Feeling Good" covered by Michael Buble (https://youtu.be/NzmfnGoqKOk)
> 
> I just made this shooter challenge thing up. No respectable bar would ever do that (probably; but I know lots of not respectable ones that probably would.)
> 
> I'll be honest, I have mixed feelings about this chapter. Not sure if it flows the way I intended.


	10. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after doesn't go as planned.

When Peridot woke up the next morning, it was to a pounding headache and a feeling of... shame? Resentment? Resignation? She wasn't sure what it was, just a feeling that sat deep in her gut that she did not like. The room was plastered in scattered rays, reflecting off of a haphazard jewelry box, some framed photos, and a host of sequins on the vanity. She sighed and stretched her arms above her head, fingertips against the headboard, and turned to her side. Lapis was curled up beside her, blanket tucked up to her neck, blue hair covering her pillow.

_ They didn't do it. _

In the end, they didn't do it. Peridot, clad in her shorts and a tee Lapis had lent her, wanted nothing more than to leap out of the bed. The memory of fingers against her skin, lips to her neck, sent goosebumps down her back. But ultimately, she had been the one who had stopped them before they went further. And she was paying for it this morning.

"I can't believe," she muttered to no one, "that girls can get blue balls too." She closed her eyes once more, moving her face into the direction of one of the rays, absorbing it's warmth.

"You'd be surprised how many people don't know that," a voice mumbled from beside her. Peridot's eyes snapped back open and she glanced down as Lapis peeked out from underneath her hair. If Peridot recalled correctly, she was still completely nude underneath the duvet, her body bronzed and toned--

"Hey," Peridot said, her cheeks immediately blazing. She drew her legs together, remembering the tightness between her legs and the dampness of her underwear.  _ God, she needed a shower.  _

_ Why did I stop us, again? _ Lapis closed her one eye and flipped her hair over her shoulder,  reaching out a hand and gently placing it on Peridot's arm. She opened both eyes this time and a wistful, resigned look fluttered past her eyes.

_ Oh, right. _

Something was  _ off _ with Lapis. And as much as she wanted to, and she had convinced herself it was okay, and Lapis had convinced  _ her _ self it was okay,  _ it wasn't okay.  _

They sat in a heavy silence, the weight dragging them down into the mattress with each passing breath. Lapis gently ran her thumb over Peridot's pale, freckled arm, her cheeks reddening as she did so.

_ What _ are they now?

_ Where _ are they?

Peridot had no idea.

"Lapis," Peridot said finally. "I'm--"

"Don't," Lapis cut in. Peridot waited for her to say more, but she didn't. She just looked at her, and Peridot stared back, studying those big eyes, that round face, those plush lips--for an answer, for a revelation, something, _ anything _ \--

"What is your real first name?" Peridot asked without thinking. She was surprised by her own softness; it sounded like someone else was speaking for her. Lapis wet her lips.

"Nila," she said, just as quietly. "My name is Nila Kalea Lazuli." _ N. Lazuli. _ Peridot gave a short nod. "And you?"

"Peridot," she responded. "Peridot Castillo." Lapis furrowed her brow, eyes widening.

"Seriously? Your name is  _ actually _ Peridot?" she said in disbelief. Peridot sighed and nodded. "Okay, like, Pearl, or Ruby I get, but...  _ Peridot _ ?"

"I don't know, I didn't get a say in the matter, ya know," Peridot countered, playfully tugging her arm from Lapis's grip. Lapis immediately dropped her hand back to the duvet. "I always went by Peri in school. Seemed easier." Silence lapsed once more. _ Oh God, would this be better or worse had we actually had sex? _ Peridot was trapped in limbo between comfort and anxiety, wanting to both slide down underneath the duvet with Lapis and run and hide in the closet.

_ Heh. The closet. _

"Peri." Peridot turned at the sound of her nickname. Lapis was now staring at the headboard, turning the name over and over with her tongue. "Peri. Peri. Peridot. Peridot Castillo."

"Nila," Peridot responded. Lapis glanced at her. "Do... do you want me to call you that?" Lapis shook her head.

"I prefer Lapis," she explained. "With a last name like Lazuli, a first name like Lapis feels appropriate, doesn't it?"

"I guess so." There was a  _ clank _ and a  _ clunk _ in the kitchen, and the sound of bubbling water.

"Margaret," Lapis said at the sound of the water. "Margaret Ishikawa. Goes by Meg, sometimes. Goes by Pearl, most of the time." Lapis chuckled to herself. "Another easy one. 'Margaret' means 'pearl'."

"She doesn't.... _ look _ like a Margaret," Peridot admitted. "She looks like... well, a Pearl."

"The peach-ish hair suits her well too, doesn't it?" Lapis added. "Her natural color is some dark brown. Super boring. Sheena originally made her dye it pink and I was the one who insisted on the orange tint. Can't imagine her without it these days, to be honest." Lapis laid her arms in a circle on her pillow and rested her head in them, closing her eyes. Seeing her up close in the daylight like this, she looked simply exhausted. The circles under her eyes were suddenly very visible, and the fatigue in her face was palatable. As Peridot watched her rest, her mouth burned with questions --  _ what are we now? What just happened? What's next? _ Her heart hammered into her rib cage. 

It had been her that suggested talking in the morning, and now that they were here, she couldn't make the words come. Perhaps it was because the morning light made everything feel much more raw and exposed; maybe it was because Lapis seemed so... reserved. Yes, she had done her best to seduce her last night, but even that had seemed like a different Lapis. If she wanted to be her authentic self with Nila Kalea "Lapis" Lazuli, she needed to rip off the bandaid and go for it.

"Are you okay?" Peridot blurted. Lapis didn't respond, instead remaining still with her eyes closed. "Lapis?"

"Hmm?" the aforementioned said, opening her eyes to half-mast. 

"Are you okay?" Peridot repeated. Lapis turned onto her side, one hand in her hair, and stared at Peridot.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Someone was frying what smelled like bacon in the kitchen; Peridot realized she was absolutely starving and also had no idea what time of the morning it was.

"I mean... I mean you. This," Peridot said, gesturing down the bed. "I--"

_ Love _

"--really like you, Lapis. And I really,  _ definitely _ want to sleep with you, eventually. And I want to... to  _ be _ with you," Peridot continued. "But..." she sighed, rubbing her eyes.  _ Where are on earth did my glasses go? _ "...I can't like this. I have no idea what it is you  _ want _ , Lapis. Do you  _ want _ me? Do you want to be  _ with _ me?" Peridot didn't realize what she was asking until the words already hung in the air, thick and threaded with anxiety. All their words from the previous evening, the promises made with fleeting touches and velvet kisses, it all seemed to be disappearing into the morning sunlight. As the silence between them grew longer, Peridot's hands started to tremble. This is not what she expected from this evening at all.

Finally, Lapis spoke.

"I  _ do _ ," she said. "I  _ do _ want to be with you, Peridot. I really, really do. I just... I told you. I don't know how to be a person." Peridot took a breath.

"Last night, I told you that I wanted to know you," Peridot said slowly. "You opened up to me, Lapis. That's what I want. That's how you get close to someone." Lapis bit her lower lip, and the motion sent a shock of fear through Peridot. "...right? Lapis--"

"I know," Lapis interjected, reaching out and picking up Peridot's hand, bringing it right to her lips. "I know. I know. I-- It's different, in the daylight, isn't it? And--" she stopped, lips pressed against Peridot's fingertips, her lips pinched together. "I want--I  _ want _ to be with you, Peridot."

"Then  _ tell me _ ," Peridot insisted. "Tell me your story, Nila Kalea." Lapis squeezed her eyes closed, her face tightening as if bracing herself. Peridot tugged her hand free and as gently as possible trailed her fingers through Lapis's bangs, brushing them off her forehead. 

"I can't," Lapis said in a whisper. "I thought I-I could, but--then you'll know."

"That's okay," Peridot responded in a whisper to match. "I  _ want _ to know." Lapis shook her head.

"No, I mean you'll know--you'll know I'm bad." Lapis suddenly shrunk away from Peridot's hand as if she had been burned. "Peridot... I think you should leave."

_ What? _

"Lapis--"

"I'm sorry," Lapis said, covering her face with her hands. "Please, Peridot, please--"

"Lapis!"

_ No, no, no no no nonononono--what happened? _

Lapis slid from the bed, grabbing a blue kimono-like robe from her nightstand and running a hand through her hair. As she stood, Peridot could see her legs trembling, nearly knocking together. 

"Please, Peridot, please, because I think you're so good," Lapis said. "And... I'm nothing  _ like _ you." Peridot scrambled from the bed, brushing her hand over her glasses on the opposite side table. She rammed them onto her face and stared back at Lapis, who was suddenly a deep red and looked like she wanted to melt into the floor. 

“Lapis,” Peridot said through a terse breath, her heart pounding through her ribcage. “I-I don’t know what’s wrong but I want to help, and--” Lapis cut her off with a swift shake of her head. A single tear slid down her cheek and caught the light before she wiped it away.

“ _ Please, _ ” Lapis begged. “Please, Peridot. Just… leave.”

The defeat in her voice was deafening. Peridot felt as if she were suddenly underwater, arms flailing but too far from the surface to save herself. It was as if the words had disconnected her from herself, and something else, something primal and self-preserving, took over. 

Silently, Peridot left the apartment. She moved as if in a fog, and didn’t even acknowledge the “Peridot?” Sheena offered from the kitchen as she gathered her things. Still in her shorts and Lapis’s tee, she shoved everything into her bag, shrugged into her hoodie, and left. 

She stepped out into the mid-morning sun, the heat of summer swallowing her whole. She squinted and drifted, moving robotically. 

_ What just happened? _ Was the only thought she could process. Was she just rejected? Even after everything Lapis had said? Even after all the effort Lapis had gone through to seduce her as well as she had?

_Did she just want me for sex?_ Peridot wondered bitterly as she stepped onto the train. She willed her body into a corner, still feeling outside herself. What was happening to her? Everything had gone from somewhat okay to a total mess in less than twenty-four hours. The inner monologue of putrid thoughts that she was normally able to drown out continued, forcing her to take stiff, broken movements. _As if anyone could actually want_ you, _Peridot._

_ “I never want to see you in this house again.” _

A ping above her head gave her pause. She realized she didn’t know  _ where _ she was, just that she got on the first train that arrived. Peridot looked up at the station name flashing above the door; it was the Gay Village. Peridot shuffled off the train and stepped out into the Village, which was asleep after another long evening of revelry. The club was in its usual, unassuming spot, a stocky building quietly nestled towards the end of the block. Its neon sign was dark and the shades were drawn. Peridot approached the building in dismay, and sat down on a bench that was just outside, turning her back to it. She dropped her bag to the concrete sidewalk, brought her knees to her chest, and buried her face in her knobbly knees.

And then, she started to cry. The first two drops startled her, falling onto her bare thighs with a warm splash, and then, the dam broke. Whatever trance had taken her from Lapis’s apartment was gone, and she couldn’t stop the overflow of tears. 

_ First my dad. _

_ Then my mom. _

_ Now Lapis. _

_ Who’s next? _

Snot dribbled miserably from her nose and she wiped it with her hoodie sleeve. She had removed her glasses and placed them on the bench beside her, allowing her wet eyelashes to blend with the skin of her knees and her wet sobs to disappear into her feet. 

The dryness of her throat compounded with her tears made her cough and then retch, and as she lifted her head to wipe her mouth, a couple across the street who had apparently stopped to watch her suddenly darted off down the street.  _ Oh, great, now strangers think I’m pathetic. _ Wiping at her face with her soiled hoodie, she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. 

“Why am I so upset?” she said to no one. “Lapis and I weren’t even a  _ thing. _ ” They were barely  _ friends. _ The sting of Lapis wanting her to leave shouldn’t hurt as much as when she was kicked out or when her dad left or--

“Peridot?” Peridot jerked her head up in surprise, looking around for the source of the sound. She found it as Sadie of all people came running down the street towards her, a look of fear on her face. Lars was hanging behind her, looking unusually concerned instead of his usual disinterest. He glanced around and followed Sadie, who had now thrown herself on Peridot.

“Oh my God,  _ Peridot! _ ” she cried. Peridot reeled back in surprise but accepted the hug, grateful for the human contact. She wasn’t exactly friends with Sadie  _ either _ but Sadie had been the only constant nice thing in her life the last few years. “Peridot, what happened? You look terrible. Are you okay?”

“Do you need me to go beat someone up?” Lars offered from her other side, clenching his fist. “I can go get my… acquaintances from the Center to go beat up whoever it is.”

“Just call them your friends, Lars,” Sadie said with a touch of annoyance. She turned back to Peridot. “I texted you like five times last night and this morning and you never texted back! I assumed things were going well but--”

“Oh,” Peridot interrupted, her own voice surprisingly hoarse. “I’m sorry, Sadie, my phone is probably dead.” She hadn’t even noticed if she had shoved it into her bag before fleeing Lapis’s apartment. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“It’s okay,” Sadie said, cupping Peridot’s cheek in her hand. Peridot normally hated gestures like these but this morning, she was grateful for Sadie’s mothering nature. “What happened?”

“I--” Peridot choked, but her voice cut out immediately. She swallowed instead and shook her head. “I--”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,” Sadie insisted. She pushed Peridot’s bag aside and sat beside her on the bench. “We were just going to go to the Center for a group lunch thing, do you want to come?” Peridot glanced down at her ensemble, knowing full well the only other clothes she had were her dirty all-blacks in her bag. “I’m more than happy to go back home with you to change if you want. Hey,” Sadie added, bumping her shoulder against Peridot’s, “you can help me come up with ways to convince Lars to dye his hair for Trans Day!” Lars’s cheeks immediately darkened and he kicked at Sadie. 

“I am  _ not _ dying my hair,” he insisted. Sadie scoffed. 

“If  _ Buck Dewey _ suggested dying your hair, you’d do it,” she said begrudgingly. “Wouldn’t you?”

“ _ Hey! _ ” Lars cried, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I-I don’t have to take this, I’m going to the Center and I will  _ not _ save a seat for you!” With that, he turned and stalked off, headed towards the Youth Crisis Center that made up the heart of the Gay Village. 

“Save one for Peridot too!” Sadie called. Lars responded by flipping the bird back at them. That got Peridot to laugh, even if it was a weak one that turned into a sad chuckle. 

“What color are you trying to get him to dye it?” Peridot asked as Sadie pulled her to her feet. The miserable feeling in the pit of her stomach was slowly disappearing, and the awful thoughts - those thoughts that she quelled with books and research and tv and  _ Lapis _ \- began to fade. 

“Pink or blue, to match the trans flag,” Sadie explained as she put Peridot’s bag on her shoulder. “But he’s such a  _ baby _ about these things, he’s all ‘oh, won’t the dye hurt my head?’ even though I at no point mentioned using bleach.” She rolled her eyes but was smiling, her fingers still entwined with Peridot’s. “Now that he’s gone, do you want to tell me what happened?” Peridot sniffed and sighed.

“Lapis brought me home,  _ almost _ slept with me, and then I stopped her,” Peridot said in a small voice. “And then she kicked me out this morning. After going back on  _ everything _ she said to me last night when she was....”  _ Horny and drunk.  _ Why hadn’t she noticed it before?  _ Lapis probably hadn't meant any of it. You’re just a means to an ends.  _

“When she was…?”

“Nevermind,” Peridot mumbled. “I--I thought she liked me. Like, romantically. But I think I was wrong.” Sadie ‘hmm’ed thoughtfully beside her and said nothing else. They walked in silence.

“Did she  _ say _ she didn’t like you?” Sadie asked after a few footsteps of silence. Peridot pressed her lips into a thin line. 

“Well, she  _ said _ she wanted to be with me… and then kicked me out,” Peridot admitted. “And she had this--this look, like wasn’t sure. Like me being there was the worst thing that could be happening. She went from--” Peridot’s cheeks instantly heated up as he recalled the evening before, and she lowered her voice as she spoke. “She went from  _ grinding _ on me to  _ not looking at me. _ Actions speak louder than words, don’t they?” Sadie tipped her head to the side in thought.

“I don’t know,” she admitted finally. “If everything you’ve told me is true, it doesn’t  _ sound _ like someone who was trying to play you, y’know? Just sounds like… well…” she laughed to herself. “She kind of reminds me of Lars. No idea how to deal with their feelings.” They were walking down a shady street, taking the meandering long way back to their apartment. Sadie tugged Peridot along to an old wrought iron bench that sat under a large tree, and sat down. Peridot followed.

“I think,” she began, “you should talk to someone who knows Lapis well. Does she have any friends?”

“No,” Peridot blurted immediately. “I mean, I don’t think so. She has a roommate, and an ex, and… A family, I guess, somewhere, but I don’t think she talks to them anymore.” Peridot looked at Sadie with a surprised glance. “I assumed you were going to suggest I talk to Lapis.”

“I figured you wouldn’t even if I suggested it,” Sadie said with a shrug. “But I know  _ someone _ in that club has to know her well. Can’t you think of someone?” Peridot sighed as one thought popped into her head.

“I mean… there is  _ one _ person I could _ maybe _ talk to,” she said slowly. 

“Oh? Talk to them, then?” Peridot let out a dry laugh.

“The only person that comes to mind is  _ Steven, _ ” she said, running her fingers through her oily hair. “He’s a  _ kid. _ I can’t talk to him about my messed-up love life!”

“You don’t have to,” Sadie countered. “Just talk to him about what Lapis is like. Maybe he can give you some insight. And,” Sadie added, “do it  _ outside _ of the club. The only places you go these days are our apartment and that club. You don’t have work again until Wednesday, right? So why don’t you spend some time elsewhere in the city? It could be good for you.”

“Being  _ outside? _ ” Peridot said in a mocking tone, and Sadie smiled. 

“It’s not that bad. You’re doing great right now!” she said, gesturing upwards to the endless sky. It was almost noon and Peridot’s stomach suddenly growled. “Come on, let’s go home. If we hurry we can catch the second half of the lunch. A shower and food will make you feel better, I promise.” With a gentle tug, Sadie pulled Peridot from the bench and they walked the rest of the way home. Peridot quickly showered and threw different clothes on before heading back out with Sadie, deciding to leave her phone behind to charge.

When she and Sadie returned from lunch, Peridot feeling full and warm, she immediately checked her phone. She had four texts from Sadie, two from Amethyst… and nothing from Lapis. Not even a short text or message. It was as if the previous night had never happened. Peridot started typing out a message to her, then, sighing deeply, deleted it and tossed the device on her bed, instead deciding to sit down at her desk and open her laptop. 

Hands poised over the keyboard, she thought about how best to word her search. She knew the information she was trying to find, and yet, she still didn’t want to see it spelled out in front of her.

“Just type it,” she murmured to herself. She placed her fingers on the keys. “ _ Just type it. _ ” This was what she had been avoiding doing ever since that text from Gretchen weeks before. Her situation with Lapis had dragged that back into the forefront of her mind.

_ “I never want to see you in this house again.” _

_ YOLANDA DIAMOND ESTRANGED DAUGHTER _

The words were in front of her and yet they didn’t seem real. She hit ‘ENTER’ and let the search engine do its work, churning out results in the blink of an eye. The first result was a news headline from a little over a month ago; HOMEWORLD PROPERTIES INC NAMES NEW CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER. The executive board was pictured standing on a stage in some auditorium somewhere, her mother, the Chief Legal Officer, standing off to the side in her trademark yellow tweed suit. Nothing about Peridot.

She scrolled down the page, flicking past images of her mother with the executive board of her company, looking pleased with herself. Nothing about Peridot. She continued to scroll.

The first mention of her was on the second page, from an old article that had been published in some journal when her mother had first been named Chief Legal Officer of Homeworld.  _ Yolanda lives outside of Empire City with her teenage daughter. _ Not even named. If there hadn’t been any mention of her, why had Gretchen reached out to her?

_ PERIDOT CASTILLO YOLANDA DIAMOND _

The first result was from a website that archived newspapers, and it was a copy of her birth announcement.  _ Local high-profile lawyers welcome baby girl. _

The next result was her father’s obituary.

Peridot slammed the laptop shut in disgust, stood up, and stalked out of the room, leaving her phone in silence on her bed. It didn’t ring once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a new job which was cool, but also not cool in that my writing time got slashed. I also wanted to work on some other stuff because I didn't wanna force it, y'know? Anyway, the story is finally starting to pick up. Get ready babes.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the Lapidot Discord chat. One night we were throwing tons of ideas around when "stripper Lapis" became "dancer Lapis" and "Lapis in a corset" and my unnecessary adoration for this movie came to light. It's not the best movie but I adore it and the soundtrack is fantastic. If you've seen the movie, just imagine the club from the movie and that's what it's supposed to look like. 
> 
> This is absolutely dedicated to my fellow sinners on the Lapidot Discord, y'all know who you are!


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